Traveling with children is an entirely different ballgame. This weekend we will by flying with our
kiddos for the first time. I will just
admit I have never spent so much time planning and calculating a trip.
Usually, I see how much I can cram in my free carry-on bag
and off we go.But planning to fly with
young children has been a totally different experience.I have spent days figuring out what everyone
needs, what bag they will be packed in, what things we will be in big trouble
if we forget (we don’t have a rental car, so no runs to the StuffMart if we
forgot something), and how to keep everyone entertained during the travel
portion.At the same time, I’m concerned
about packing TOO much and having overweight suitcases as well as the excess
stress of dragging around stuff we didn’t really need.It has been an eventful process to say the
least.
How do ya pack up all this gear, cuteness, AND luggage
It has also sounded much like a conversation I had this week
about my life, stress level, and workload in multiple areas of my life.One of the “coaches” I work with suggested to
me this week that I should make a list of the things I need to get done (that
was a silly request… spend 2 minutes with me and you would quickly realize my
life is always running off 2-3 lists). She
also suggested I prioritize the list in the order it needs to be completed
(again, duh, that is always how a list works, right?!) But THEN she said I
should go through the list and start determining what could be done by someone
else and start delegating off those tasks.Ouch…. It really sounds like a super helpful plan, just not something I
have ever been good at.
Some of the things on
my to do list are excess baggage- things that are weighing me down, stressing
me out, and I need to pass them off.As
I have checked off the travel “packing” list I keep reminding myself… you don’t
need to take it all.Perhaps I need to
apply that concept to other areas of my life.There is definitely some stress-baggage I could pass off and allow my
Savior to carry for me, for He is much stronger than I am, and he doesn’t have
to work from a list.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I
will give you rest.Take my yoke upon
you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find
rest for your souls.For my yoke is easy
and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30
Over the weekend I had two dear friends reach out and check
on me because they hadn’t seen my writing for a few weeks. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me,
because it meant the words of this ministry mean something. And I am still here!! Just currently living
in a challenging season where finding the balance between all things of
parenting, marriage, work, ministry, rest, keeping my people fed and clothed
has all been VERY hard.
Fall is a hectic time at school where we juggle parent
teacher conferences, field trips, special education conferences, and various
other things that arise all on top of the day-to-day learning and working to
meet the needs of all the different students in the two grade levels within my
classroom (and there is no fall break here, Indiana friends).At home we are busy conquering kindergarten
homework (which thankfully (a) loves), trying to keep (b) from making 497
messes per evening, starting (lk) on solid foods, and managing the levels of
how much they truly love each other from turning into the attacking sort of
love where everyone is crying because the hugs and giggles turned into chasing,
injuries, and tears of exhaustion.It is
a beautiful, messy life- and I am completely exhausted and have not had an
adult conversation with my husband in 2 weeks.
Trying to do it all, be it all, make sure it is all covered
has left me feeling inadequate in every area of my life.I don’t feel like I am enough for my
students, my own family, my ministry, or my own physical and mental
health.But after Bible study last
night, a dear friend walked up to me, looked into my tired eyes and told me, “I
feel like God wants me to remind you that you ARE enough, and HE will fill in
the gaps where you can’t.”I can’t tell
you what those words meant to me.
Growing up, I spent a lot of hours sorting and working cattle
with my dad.I know how important it is
to have someone stand in the gaps for you.With someone solid standing in the gaps, moving cattle where they need
to go can be a smooth and easy process.Without that, it can be a frustrating disaster where you get nothing
accomplished no matter how long you work.While I feel like I have been moving cattle without any help lately, the
reality is I just need to open my eyes and see that He is filling in the gaps
for me.That with his help I can accomplish
the things that I NEED to get done, and the other things he will provide for
through someone else, or give me peace that they really didn’t HAVE to happen.Standing in the gaps… it is a simple job but
is a huge necessity.What a feeling of
reassurance and comfort, He is standing in the gaps for me- I don’t have to
feel alone in all I juggle and all I do- He is standing right beside me making
me enough.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on
me.That is why, for Christ’s sake, I
delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in
difficulties.For when I am weak, then I
am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
I’m a pretty subpar mom.
I have SO much to learn. I’m not
awesome or amazing in any ways. I turn
into “screamy mommy” more days than I care to admit, there are mountains of
laundry that are undone, I’m not the queen of healthy meals, and my two year
old doesn’t do any cool academic tricks.
(a) was doing math homework at 8:30 one night this week because I forgot
to check his backpack before that point.
(lk) has spent the first five months of her life strapped to me in a kangaroo
pouch while I tend to her brothers (sorry to break it to those who thought that
she would be spoiled since she is our last and a girl- spoiled she is not,
tough however she will be). (b) is often
covered in bug bites because he lives outside but I’m not good at remembering
the bug spray. I could go on and on and
on in the ways I do not measure up as any kind of an amazing mom and all the
things I still need to learn to be better.
But we are trying really hard to raise kids that are better
humans than we are (shouldn’t that always be the goal?).I’m constantly hammering the boys on their
manners and the way they treat others.I
worry often about their listening skills (or lack thereof), and work daily to
instill work ethic, independence, and persistence.With (a), I have also been trying to help him
memorize several scriptures.I have
explained that it is important, because when you have God’s Word in your heart
you carry it with you always and have it when you need it for any situation,
even if your Bible isn’t handy.Teaching
this concept to a kindergartener has not been easy.One day he informed me the only thing in his
heart was “the bump-bump” pounding (and he wasn’t trying to be a
smartypants).As I’m teaching him, I’m
learning a lot.I’m learning that some
concepts are very hard to grasp when you are young and that as the teacher, I
need to have better explanations.Each
morning on our way to school we try to work on a memory verse, but this has
also taught me so much about how I grasp God’s Word and pass it on- some days I
find myself struggling to explain the verse in a way that can be understood by
a five-year-old.Then I wonder if I
really understand it if I can’t explain it.
The more I teach, the more I realize I have to learn. Whether it is with my kids, in my classroom,
or preparing to teach for speaking engagements- I always find myself learning
the most, or being the most challenged in my learning, when I teach. This week I’m teaching what are (in my
opinion) the two hardest lesson of common core math that exist in my 4th
grade curriculum. This week they have
gone better than any other year I have taught them, and I realized something,
as I have worked at learning how to teach them more effectively, students are
catching on to them more easily. I am
preparing for a speaking engagement this weekend, and the more I prep to teach
and lead, the more Biblical truths I’m discovering for my own heart.
I still have so much to learn. Thank you God, for your “on
the job” teacher training for this mom (and in so many areas of my life).
“Keep this book of the law always on your lips;
meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything
written in it.Then you will be
prosperous and successful.” Joshua 1:8
There are moments in life that sometimes my heart just doesn’t
understand. It has taken me nearly a
week to put words to paper to describe the heartache at losing my friend, Gabby. While I grieve her loss, I have also found
myself reminded of the things she taught me.
Gabby was a student in our youth group for many years while
we were in ministry in North Vernon.She
was gorgeous and talented, but bigger than that, she had a heart for God and
for others.Because she was involved in
many aspects of the church, we were frequently working together and became
close friends.I had the opportunity to
be her adult “prayer partner” many years when the youth group took their annual
CIY and mission trips.I always spent a
significant amount of time writing out cards for her to open each day of the
trip about how I would be praying for her that day- and I loved being able to
do it for her because of the conversations it brought when they returned.She was always so thankful and gracious and
bubbling with joy to tell me all about the trip and how much she loved having a
card to open each day.Her smile and
laugh were infections, you couldn’t help but smile too when you were in her
presence.
She was a driven student who was always working her tail off
to do the best she could in school.In
many ways her work habits reminded me of my high school “self” and because we were
close, I shared with her on a few occasions my biggest high school regret was
working so hard for grades and achievements that I sometimes missed out on
sharing moments with my friends.We had
conversations about how there would be times in life it was ok to take that A-
instead of the A+ if it meant making a memory with friends.And we were SO proud of her when that drive
took her where she wanted to be through high school and college to become a
NICU nurse following graduation.
“Gabby Gabby,” as she was known by her friends, had a heart
for service and others.It was a blast
to serve with her on our church camp team because she was always right in the
middle of what the kids were doing encouraging them, cheering them on, and
pointing them toward Jesus.Gabby didn’t
shy away from an opportunity to dress up in some crazy outfit if it served the
kids at VBS or put on the fanny pack of necessities for church camp.She was “all in” with the brightest smile on
her face, even if it meant spending her birthday with 80 elementary kids at
camp.She also worked in the daycare
that was owned by the church where she was a HUGE favorite friend of our son
(a).They were big buddies and she
always brought a smile to his face.As I
mourned this weekend, I read back through our text message thread that is still
in my phone and found pictures she had sent me of (a) smiling and being silly
with her and one I had sent her teasing that her mom had snatched her buddy (a)
and he was beaming in her mom’s arms instead of hers.Her heart of others was so big I even remember,
with a giggle, talking her through how to gently but clearly get a “friend zone”
message across to a boy who wouldn’t stop following her (he wasn’t a creeper,
just love struck and following like a lost puppy).She was NOT interested in him, but her big
heart was too kind to tell him forcefully that it was never gonna happen and so
we helped stage some interventions to get the message across in her sweet
gentle way.
My (a) always found a way to Gabby's lap
I have SO many wonderful memories. In my grief this weekend, I couldn’t think of
how many weeks we have been praying for healing for her body. And then I was reminded of a message Gabby,
herself, shared with me. We served on
praise team together for quite a while and she had this beautiful, almost edgy,
voice. She introduced me to a song
called “Beautiful Things” that she loved to play on piano and sing. She did a gorgeous job with it and I quickly
came to love that song. I downloaded it
to my phone and used it for some retreats because I loved the message it
shared. Sometimes when my phone is
connected to Bluetooth that song automatically starts playing (because it is
first alphabetically) and even before she was sick, I always think of Gabby as
soon as it starts. When my heart was
hurting this weekend, I opened my phone and turned on my Gabby song, Beautiful
Things. The words to the chorus and
bridge hit me like a ton of bricks.
You make beautiful
things,
You make beautiful
things out of the dust.
You make beautiful
things,
You make beautiful
things out of us.
You make beauty,
You are making me
new.
The words “you make beauty, you are making me new” repeat
over and over in the bridge, and it was like a gentle whisper from God.He has made my sweet friend new.We prayed and prayed for healing, and that is
what she got.No, it wasn’t the kind of
healing we were praying for, but a healing that gave her a new body.My heart is still hurting for our loss here,
but after realizing the beauty of being made new, I can’t help but rejoice for
her and all the beauty she must be experiencing with Jesus.While it is common to hear the words “rest in
peace” or “rest easy” I don’t think that is at all what I would say to my sweet
friend Gabby if I could see her again.I
know “rest” wasn’t often in her style, she was working to do great things- and
so instead of saying “rest” I would say SING His praises with that beautiful
voice for all eternity.DANCE on the
streets of gold as you flash that bright smile.You lived for Jesus on this earth, now CELEBRATE with Him in Heaven my
sweet friend.Thank you for all the
lives you blessed, especially mine.
“He was seated on the throne said: “I am making
everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are
trustworthy and true.” Revelation 21:5
It’s the week before kindergarten. In many ways I’m not even sure how we got
here. I feel like it was just yesterday
that I was snuggling a tiny baby or a wiggly toddler (ok, I’m still doing both
thankfully- but it isn’t for him). But
here we are.
It’s the week before kindergarten, and in so many ways I
know he is ready.We have a new cowboy
backpack and it is filled with school supplies.We have a lunchbox and water bottle.We have 5 new pairs of jeans that (currently) don’t have the knees blown
out of them and a few new tops that do not (yet) have stains.He is excited and has been wanting to go
every since he went to Kindergarten Roundup back in March… and now it’s the
week before kindergarten.
I look at him and see all the ways I have watched him grow
this summer.Not just the fact that he
is inches taller- but he has grown in independence and responsibility, he has grown
in work ethic and persistence.I have
watched him make new friends, introduce himself to (appropriate) strangers, and
speak in fluid answers to questions from adults.I have marveled at many of our conversations
lately- his demeanor and vocabulary are changing and I feel like I’m talking to
a bigger kid.We had a Mama date this
week and he didn’t even want to hold my hand as we walked across the
fairgrounds.But it is the week before
kindergarten, so instead of feeling sad I am choosing to be thankful for this
maturity because it will help him be ready.
Our rodeo date night... the week before kindergarten.
But it is the week before kindergarten, and in other ways I
worry if we have prepared him enough. He
still needs help cutting his food, he still needs a nap no matter how hard I
have tried to wean him off of it, he often still cries if he can’t find me in
the house or thinks he has been left alone.
He still sucks his thumb when he is tired, and he doesn’t always
understand “personal space.” We have
really tried practicing that I will have to be “Mrs. Sweeney” and not “Mama” when
he sees me on lunch line duty. That I
can’t come rescue him all the time, even though I’m right across the hall, and
the novelty of “Mama’s school” is about to become the reality of “his school”
where procedures must be followed.
It is the week before kindergarten, and in so many ways my
heart is happy for him.He LOVES to
learn and he is going to soak it all in like a sponge.He loves making new friends and there is a
building full of new friends to meet.Doors
will be opened for new opportunities for him, and awards will be given that
will sometimes have his name on them.He
will get to shine his light for Jesus and I’m sure he’ll be inviting his
friends to his church.He is excited
about this adventure and that makes me excited for him.
But it is the week before kindergarten, and in many ways my
heart is broken.I know how quickly time
has gone and I know once we start this journey it won’t be long before we are
getting college recruitment letters.I
know he will meet some kids whose homes aren’t quite like ours and I will have
to start answering harder questions or sharing realities that will hurt his
tender heart.I know our evenings will
become a battleground for a few weeks as he adjusts to the exhaustion of the
long days and we adjust to the crankiness that comes when he is exhausted.My heart breaks to know his friends won’t get
to see his big dimple smile because it is mandated to be behind a mask, and he won’t know
the smiles of his new friends either.
It is the week before kindergarten, and our lives are about
to change.So for today I will hold him
a little tighter when he lets me give him a hug, I will cherish every
conversation he jabbers on about, we will cram in a few more adventures, and I
will try to hide my occasional tears- because it’s the week before kindergarten
and I don’t want to miss out on a single minute or emotion of it.
This is the first verse (a) memorized and he and I have
been using it a lot lately as we have been preparing for kindergarten.“Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
and lean not on your own understanding.In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:5-6
There is a sign that hangs on the side of the arena where
(a) participates in jr rodeo reminding everyone that sportsmanship matters,
because younger contestants are watching.
I snapped a picture of it when we were there last weekend. I really like the reminder, because I am the
mom of one of those little guys who is watching. I’m thankful that he has made friends with
some other REALLY great kids around that arena.
Some of them are his age, but a few of them are older than him, and it
makes him feel pretty special to get to hang out with his big kid friends. They have been helping him practice his
roping in the weeks between rodeos and he is excited to watch them compete in
their own events and he loves to cheer for them from the stands. He even told me the other day about all the
events he wants to do as he gets older because they are the ones that one
friend in particular does. He is
watching, and wants to be like that too.
But the sign doesn’t only hang for older contestants, it is a
reminder to parents too.Our sportsmanship,
encouragement of others, the way we talk to and about the kids- it matters also,
because they are watching.I’m so
thankful that we have had a great experience with other parents encouraging and
cheering for (a) and the friends he has gotten to know- and we try to do the
same for his friends.At the end of the
day, these competitions are really about learning, growing, gaining confidence,
working hard, and building relationships.
It’s not only true around the rodeo arena however, I have
been reminded in the last couple weeks that they are watching my every move. (b)
is still learning to talk, but his actions show how much he is constantly
watching- from the way he throws the burp cloth over his shoulder when he wants
to hold his sister, to the way he attempts to cinch a saddle on a hay bale- he
is watching and mimicking my every move.I’ve had a few particularly rough
days lately- nothing Earth shattering, but still very frustrating to the point
of tears.One afternoon I called (A)
crying as I had just gotten some extremely stressful news.I was pouring out all my frustrations too him
about that situation and a few others and didn’t realize that (a) was standing
close enough to listen to my side of the conversation and see me crying.When I got off the phone he very hesitantly
announced that there was something he needed to tell me about a mess he accidently
made but he added, “but mama, I really don’t want to tell you this because it
is going to make you cry again.”I felt terrible.I didn’t want him to think he couldn’t bring
his problems to me simply because I was having a very stressful day.I quickly assured him that, though it was a
major mess to deal with, it was not his fault, just an accident and I was not
going to cry over that.I felt about an
inch tall.
I still have a long way to go in learning how to juggle the
balance of allowing them to see me as a fallible human who experiences real
emotions and seeing me as the mom who is their protector and barrier from all
those and therefore needs to hide some of her emotions.And I’m sure that will forever be a learning
process as a parent.Because they will
ALWAYS be watching.
“In everything set them an example by doing what is
good.In your teaching show integrity,
seriousness, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned” Titus 2:7
Life with small children is never boring- especially when
you are convinced you might have the most mischievous two-year-old on the planet. Summer
days allow for lots of adventures around here, some that are a blast, others I
regret allowing from time to time. I
tend to be somewhat of an “old school” mom- I don’t allow a lot of screen
time/TV time and instead we are outside quite a bit.
Over the last five years of parenting I have REALLY tried to
embrace the dirt and messes that come with adventure. Sometimes that is REALLY hard for me. I would like for my house to be clean,
instead it is usually a total disaster area.
I would like for my body to stop aching, but that isn’t going to happen
while I am hauling the kids around. I
like order and organization and peace, and there is VERY little of that in our
life right now. But in the last few
weeks, I have tried SO hard to let go of some of that control and embrace
letting them “live their best lives” as kids.
And here is what I have observed… mud puddle playing until every inch of
(b) was soaked and his pants were falling down.
Hair spray paint that doesn’t wash out on the first try. Screams of joy as they ran through the
sprinkler. Smiles and giggles from floor
play with (lk). Gator rides, scooter
whizzing, and roping practice. Huge
imaginations creating situations that have to be solved. Animals being fed and cared for and loved on.
Hilarious conversations I never want to
forget and 5,793 questions per day. Amazement as crop duster planes fly close
overhead, and a million sticky summer snacks of popsicles and drinks being
consumed.
Do I always handle these adventures and escapades well?
NOPE! Don’t ask my boys about my reaction to the bottle of sunscreen entirely
squeezed out on my bedroom carpet, or the tub water all over the floor that is
leaking through and ruining the ceiling tiles in our basement. But I’m discovering when I let go of a lot of
my control, I get to experience a lot of wonder and creativity, fun and
giggles, learning and responsibility developing.
It makes me wonder what else I would observe if I could
learn to let go of some of my control in other areas of my life. Could I experience relationships more fully
if I let my guard down? Could I find more joy in some areas if I could relinquish
my need for perfection? Would I notice
more little things if I wasn’t so focused on the “to do” list and
schedule? While I have no plans on
giving up hard work or striving to do my best at all things I do- there are
levels of control that I could definitely learn to release.
As my Sunday School class discussed this issue last week, I
found myself admitting that I often fail to submit to God’s plan because I
battle such tendency to want to be in control of my life and situations. Sometimes this has led to hard lessons or
outcomes that could have gone much differently or less stressfully. Learning to let go of my control over dirt
and messes and order is allow my kids to “live their best life”. And I have a feeling that remembering to let
go of my control and handing it over to God would often allow me to live my “best
life” too.
“The thief comes only to steal and kill and
destroy. I came that they may have life
and have it abundantly.” John 10:10
This morning we woke up to a two-year-old boy. I will never understand how time passes so
quickly. His birth story was so chaotic
and so much like a storyline from a sitcom, that I still can’t believe two years
have passed since that day.
At first I was nervous about our decision to have a third
child, because I was concerned that (b) might get lost in the shuffle as the
middle child.But long before (lk)
arrived he made it very clear there was NO CHANCE he would ever get lost in a
shuffle.He is the comedian of our crew,
and brings the ornery to our house.He
is a thinker and a planner, and often uses that plan to make others laugh.His smile and laughter are infectious, and he
has a sound effect for nearly every action he does throughout the day.He wants to be like his big brother, but he
is also very much his own person.He
adores his baby sister and showers her with kisses, while also antagonizing her
by stealing her pacifier from her mouth multiple times a day.He loves all things to do with “horshes”,
cows, and tractors. He will sit for an hour watching westerns where cows and
horses might be spotted, but has zero interest in cartoons that most kids his
age like.
Learning to parent a “middle child” has been as much as a
learning curve as taking care of a new baby.I have learned to be on the lookout for his twinkling side eye, as it is
always a dead giveaway that he is plotting mischief.He has figured out that while I feed his
sister there is nothing I can do to stop said mischief- so that is when he
turns it up to 10 (usually chasing big brother with a toilet plunger, or
sucking on the baby’s paci).I’m
learning these are his way of telling me he needs my attention, or reminding me
that he is not going to let himself be forgotten.
He is fearless to the point that I am terrified for his
safety all the time, but beneath that tough exterior he is tenderhearted and
loves others.He makes sure to say “hi”
and “bye” to everyone he sees in every public setting, and is known at daycare
for his “attacking hugs” which are full of love but way too rough.
He is too funny to take in a serious setting, and too busy
to turn your head for a moment.He makes
too many messes for me to clean up in a day, but is too sweet to stay mad at
for very long.He is too fast for me to
chase when he has something he isn’t supposed to, and too sweet of a snuggler
to let go of first thing in the morning.He is too curious for his own good, and at the same time too smart to squelch
that curiosity.And today he is TWO.
We are so very thankful for you, (b)! And we pray you will
always use that big personality to point others to Jesus.Happy Birthday sweet, silly boy!
“Sons are indeed a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward.” Psalms 127:3
I have spent the first 37 years of my life fortunate enough
to be the daughter of an amazing dad (see our story if you don't know it ).
But now I have also spent the last 5 ½ years watching my kids admire the
awesome dads in their lives- and I will admit, it is so precious to see.
I can’t lie, in the eyes of my children, it wouldn’t matter
if I fell in a hole somewhere and never reappeared (except when they want
something to eat) because I can’t begin to hold a candle to how amazing they
think their daddy is.If I come to pick
them up from daycare I’m usually greeted with a sad face and asked “Why didn’t
Daddy come get us?”If something only
allows one parent, Daddy is always the choice.When there are bedtime stories to be read, it is always Daddy who gets
the honor of reading.When snuggles are
needed they must always come from Daddy, and when Daddy can’t go somewhere with
us there are usually a LOT of tears.While
I would REALLY love the opportunity to read a bedtime story every now and then,
it brings me a LOT of joy to watch how much they love their daddy.The bond they share is special and there is
no doubt they want to be just like him.
Photo Credit: La Di Da Photography LLC
I often watch them
interacting and find myself humming one of the songs I know about little boys
looking up to their dad. Just this past
Sunday, (a) decided he would wear a sport coat, because it is what (A) wears to
church and he announced, “And I’m going to help Daddy do his job!” One day last
week (b) decided he would put in contacts, because that is what (A) does every
morning and while (A) was rescuing his contacts, (b) quickly grabbed the razor
his daddy had set down and attempted to shave.
While it led to a cut on his cheek and another on his lip, he was
determined to be just like Daddy.
And not only do they want to be just like their Daddy, they want
to be just like OUR dads as well.This
spring, after watching my dad work in the sales box to talk commentary for a
cattle sale, (a) made a determined announcement that “When I grow up, I want to
be cowboy, a preacher, a superhero, and whatever Poppa Loran is!”They have a ritual with (A)’s dad of singing
a little song about riding a pony while they bounce on his knee, and now that
he has younger siblings and younger cousins, (a) wants to bounce them on his
knee and sing the song their Papaw sings.
Yes, this Father’s Day I’m so thankful for the guys who my
little guys want to be. And most
importantly, I’m thankful they follow Jesus and set an example of Him for my
little guys to see. After all, He is the
one I want them to be the most like.
Happy Father’s Day!!
“And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to their children
and the hearts of the children to their fathers…” Malachi 4:6
In the spring of 2017, I took up running. If you were a reader back then you may remember
my story of feeling like God was specifically telling me to do this, even
though I felt like it was a crazy thing to be “called” to do. Little did I know what the next year and a
half of my life would look like. While I
was never an amazing runner and never earned any awards, running got me through
a LOT of hard days. It was a great way
to expend frustration, anger, pain, sadness, anxiety, and emotional weariness-
to just go pound it out on the pavement.
Some days I even had a good cry as I ran, and by the time I was done I
always felt at least a little bit better about myself and my life.
(A), (a), and me after completing our first 5K in the summer of 2017
Half way through my pregnancy with (b) I stopped running as
it was really making my back hurt at that stage of the game. Unfortunately, with two littles it became
almost impossible to find time to go run and I have had not yet had the
opportunity to take it back up. Now with
three I find myself running in a lot of ways, but none of them are down the
road (by choice). I am often running late
or running down the hall after (b) who is usually wielding a toilet brush or
plunger. I am running low on patience,
running on emotional fumes, running to grab a spit-up rag, or running a plan by
my mom or my husband.
I miss running for exercise, I miss running for my mental
health.I miss running after my passions,
I miss running in-and-out of anyplace QUICKLY.Running taught me endurance, it taught me I was tougher and stronger
than I thought, running gave me discipline, and running taught me I was capable
of things I never dreamed I could (or would want to) do.
I very much hope I am able to run again some day (maybe even
sooner rather than later), but for today as “running” looks very different, I
will remember even in this crazy kind of running- the lessons God taught me
still hold true.With His help, I am
tougher and stronger than I think, and in His grace I am capable of doing
things I didn’t think I could do.And
with that in mind… I will just keep running.
“I run in the path of your commands, for you have
broadened my understanding.” Psalms 119:32
Our local youth rodeo series began a couple weeks ago, and
that means big fun has begun for my little cowboys. It is the second year that (a) has participated,
and by the end of the summer (b) will be joining him for one event this
year. I will be very clear up front and say
that we are not doing this for our kids to win awards or titles. Most important to us are the fact that it is
something they love, they are learning important life lessons, and making the
kind of friends and mentors we are please for them to have. HOWEVER, we would like to not be totally
embarrassed by their performance, and if they happen to win some prize money or
awards along the way that would be great.
As we headed toward the first rodeo, I had a serious talk
with (a) about what events he wanted to participate in and we discussed that if
he was going to do these, he would need to be practicing.Entries were due a week before the rodeo and
he adamantly chose to participate in mutton bustin’, dummy roping, and goat
tail untieing.Now mutton bustin’ is
hard to practice when you don’t have any sheep readily available, but he has a
roping dummy and several things that could function for goat tail
practice.For the past few months, he
has been practicing the goat tail event (as has (b) which is hilarious because
he incorporates sound effects), but he was NOT doing a great job practicing his
roping.Because of this I seriously questioned
him when he was determined to enter the event.I gave in to his request, but told him I had high expectations for him
to practice.That night practice was a
total disaster.At one point or another
all three kids were hit in the head with the rope (which is pretty stiff and has
a pretty good sting if it gets ya), his form was embarrassingly terrible from
lack of practice, and his attitude stunk.Before the evening was over, I was in tears and pretty frustrated that I
had given in to his request to be entered.The other practices of the week weren’t much better and I was beginning
to think about how I could hide behind a tree and pretend NOT to be the mom of
this contestant when it was his turn.Thankfully a quick trip home to Indiana landed him a roping practice with
his Aunt Kayda (who is good at it and knows FAAARRRR more than either one of
his parents).She has the patience of
Job with this child, and through some bribery and sweet talking, was able to
get him to listen to her lessons on form and technique.To all of our shock and amazement, the day of
the rodeo he had three legal catches out of his 6 attempts (too bad two of them
were during practice and not competition).A little feeling of accomplishment went a long way, and he is now
eagerly having roping practice in our yard almost every evening.He sent a video to his three-month-old cousin
last night and told him “I’m having roping practice.I have practice every night because practice
is important!”
What a change of perspective- he was frustrated originally and
didn’t want to practice because he wasn’t any good.But he has now learned that he isn’t going to
be good without the practice and it is making a difference.While I wasn’t happy with him about his
perspective at first, I realize I am often the same way.I forget that so many things in life take
practice.I want to feel successful
without practice, when in reality if I am going to have any success I need to
practice.Practice using patience,
practice loving others when it is hard, practice exercising self-control, practice
biting my tongue when something doesn’t need to be said, practice appreciating
others, practicing to pray and waiting on an answer.The opportunities come every single day- even
(or maybe most especially in) my own house.Lord, help me be willing to practice becoming who you want me to be.
“Whatever you have learned or received or heard from
me, or seen in me- put it into practice.And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:9
