The "Super" Life

The cowboy in our house has an alter-ego as “Super (a)”.  It began several months ago when my mom got him a new “hoodie towel” for her house.  It is complete with a mask and cape and embroidered lightning bolt.  He loves to run through the house wearing that thing and pretending to be a super hero.  This past fall, the theme of our church children’s programing for Sunday evenings was “Super Heroes” which was exciting for him every week.  He liked the songs and lessons, but was especially fond of the crafts where he made a super cape, mask, shield, and several other things.  The ultimate excitement came in December, when a visit back to our church in Indiana happened to fall on a Sunday where they were having a lesson on super heroes and he got his own EPIC cape and mask.  He wears those things allll the time.  Some nights he even insists on wearing the mask to bed.  He is not afraid to wear them in public.  He will gladly wear them with any other outfit as well… cowboy boots, pajamas… it doesn’t matter to him.

I think the thing I find most hilarious about “Super (a)” is how he changes just a little when he puts that outfit on.  He drops his voice when he talks to you wearing his “super” outfit, his typically strut has just a little more purpose to it, and he makes more hand motions that usual (which I’ll admit… even his typical is a lot of “hand talking” for a 3 year old… he gets it from his Momma).  He will tell you that as a “super” he can run fast, jump high, and fly far.  It really is pretty entertaining!

When I think about how super I feel most days, I will tell you I am super TIRED, and some days I’m super stressed.  I get super worried, super overwhelmed, super frustrated, and did I mention super tired?  But as I watch that little super hero at my house, I think about all the other super things I should feel… super blessed by this little family of ours, super thankful for wonderful reports about healthy and growing baby (b), super loved by our support system when the cowboy is sick. 

I could find a lot of things to feel super bad about, but when I look around there are so many super wonderful things in my life.  And that should change me just a little when I take on all those super blessings in my life.  I should have a more positive outlook, a more grateful heart, and a more purpose driven attitude.  I should be more willing to help others, more encouraging, and more grateful.

One of the most precious aspects of “Super (a)” is that he remembers where his super hero outfit came from, and talks about it frequently.  As he is putting it on, or even sometimes randomly while he is flying, he will stop and tell you “And I got dis cape and mask from my Ogilville Church!”  **Side note here… I have said a thousand times that we will never be able to say “thank you” enough for what that body of believers did for our family.  They put our hearts for ministry back together and held us up through our darkest days, but as a Momma, it is a HUGE blessing that still… MONTHS after leaving there, (a) frequently brings up “our Ogilville Church” because they even made a huge impact on his little heart.  God is doing amazing things there!**

When I hear “Super (a)” talk about where his super outfit came from, it reminds me to look to the source of the super blessings in my life.  God’s faithfulness to my life and my family is overwhelming.  His answers to our prayers never cease to amaze me, and I know the only way I can ever experience anything super wonderful is because of, and through Him.  And I realize that, like “Super (a),” I should acknowledge that source more even more often.  Thank you, God, for the super great things in my life (even if I am super exhausted while experiencing them!)

“Surely you have granted him unending blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence.  For the king trusts in the Lord; through the unfailing love of the Most High he will not be shaken.” Psalm 21:6-7

Lessons Caught

There are a lot of things that we try very specifically to teach our children.  In our home we have worked really hard on manners over the last three years, prompting “please” and “thank you” and “excuse me” at appropriate times.  We have specifically worked on how to eat with utensils, how to put his boots on the right feet, how to put dirty clothes in the hamper, and how to buckle his belt.  I even can finally say we have successfully survived potty training!!  There are so many things we want him to know and be able to do that we have repeated the skills over and over, practiced with him, and prompted on cue. 

After spending the last few weekends at “da farm” for various reasons, (a) thinks he is a master tractor operator.  By asking questions and talking with his Poppa Loran over and over he will proudly tell you that to make the tractor go faster you “push rabbit” and to slow down you “push turtle.”  He will also tell you that you use the tractor to “feed hay to da cows and when we give da cows da hay, we haf to cut off da wrapper so da cows don’t choke!!”  Those are all things he has specifically been taught or has learned by asking lots of questions. 

What amazes me most in parenting though, are not the things (a) has learned by being taught, but the many things he has learned by lessons CAUGHT.  There are so many things he has simply observed and then tried to emulate.  On Friday, he and I were on the road together and the weather was pretty nasty.  It was cold and spitting snow/ice balls at us for mile after mile.  I stopped for gas, thankful for a station with a large overhead shelter, and (a) announced from the back seat “Momma! It is too cold for you to pump da gas!! I will do it for you!  I have my cowboy vest on to stay warm!  You can’t pump da gas because it is too cold for you! I will get it!”  I about melted.  I promise no one has ever even suggested that he should pump gas for me when it is cold and nasty.  BUT, he has watched his daddy do it any time we are in the car together.  And he has heard his daddy mention doing things for me when it is cold or nasty.  He has never been TAUGHT to do kind things to take care of his momma, but he has CAUGHT the lesson that it is a kind thing to do.  (No, while I thanked him profusely for the super sweet gesture, I did not let our 3 year old pump the gas that afternoon. 😉)

The cowboy teaching Daddy the RIGHT way to play with PlayDoh 😂 

That exchange made me think so much about what else he has CAUGHT… he asks daily “How was your day at school/work/da farm?” (changing it up depending on who he is talking to).  We have never specifically taught him to ask others about their day, but it is one of the first things we say to him when we pick him up or when someone arrives home.  He has caught some hilarious phrases and mannerisms from watching rodeo or favorite movies.  And unfortunately, he has caught some things that make me feel incredibly guilty because I don’t like how they sound, but they have come out of my mouth (“dat stupid dog”). 

I realize that as parents, mentors, role models, examples, Christ followers… that often what is CAUGHT is just as powerful- probably more powerful- than what is specifically taught.  People might listen to what we say, but they are also watching what we DO.  And what we do matters.  How we treat people matters, the example we set matters.  It makes me ask myself… is my example worth catching?  Do I treat people the way Jesus would?  Do I speak the truth in love?  Do I lead by example?  Do I have the right attitude?  Does my life share joy? 

As a mom, a teacher, a leader… I know there are eyes watching me.  I pray that everyday I would mindful of my words and actions, and I’m so thankful for God’s grace when I mess up, because good or bad, those lesson are being caught.

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12

Community

I was raised in a small town.  It’s the kind of town where everyone within a three mile radius considers themselves your neighbor.  The kind of town where people look out for each other, care about each other, go to church together, celebrate together, mourn together, and help each other.  It really was a COMMUNITY. 

As I prepared to head back to that small town last weekend for my grandma’s funeral services, I will admit, I was REALLY looking forward to being back there and having a chance to see so many of those friends and neighbors.  I knew that people would have lovingly brought food to the house so mom wouldn’t have to cook for all of us, that people would stand and wait in line to hug us at visitation, that there would be flowers and cards from those friends and neighbors, and that we would feel very loved and supported.  And you know what… that community did not let us down!!  There was more than enough food to feed all the mouths, there were SOOO many wonderful hugs, and we felt incredibly loved and supported as we said our good-byes to Grandma. 

Not only was a raised in a small town community, but I was raised in a “circle” that is a community.  Many of our family’s dearest friends are farm families and cattle friends who don’t live geographically close- but that doesn’t stop the sense of community when there is a need.  Some of them drove multiple hours to stand in that line and show their support, others who couldn’t make it sent texts or called, sent flowers or cards, and that sense of community means the world.

As I think about that community, and those people, I realize they are so special to me because they helped make me who I am.  They were my Sunday school teachers, and volunteer youth group leaders, they sang beside me on the praise team in my home church, their kids tied cattle beside mine at show after show, they were nearby farmers we knew we could call if dad was gone and we had farm problem.  They taught me what it means to be a mentor, an encourager, a “cheerleader,” and a friend.  So much of who I am today, I owe to that community, that “circle” of people who came alongside my parents to help raise three strong, independent, faith-filled girls. 

And as I think about that, it makes me think a LOT about who will influence my boys.  As it looks right now, it doesn’t appear that it is God’s will that we get to raise them in a small town like I was, but I hope we are building community, and a “circle” that will help encourage them like mine did.  A community where they see adults lead by example, where they know they will be loved and supported, taught values and work ethic, where love for God and others comes before anything else.  That there is someone they can call if needed, or a spare set of parents or two to help “keep them in line” when they aren’t in our line of sight. 

I’ve always heard “it takes a village to raise a child,” and this weekend I was reminded of how INCREDIBLY thankful I am for the village who raised me.  And it makes me pray all the more for God to help us seek out and choose wisely who will be a part of that village, that “circle,” that community for our family.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another- and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:24-25

We know for sure Aunt Kayda is in his "circle" 😉

Hello, Goodbye Celebration

There is an award winning children’s book titled The Hello, Goodbye Window.  It is a story about a little girl and the adventures she has at her grandparents’ house.  Nearly everything important at their house happens through the window, by the window, or around the window in the kitchen.  It is a sweet story told from the child’s perspective.

I couldn’t help but think of that book title as we drove to Indiana over the weekend.  It was a hello, goodbye weekend.  We were headed “home” to celebrate (a)’s third birthday with family and friends and to reveal the gender of new baby who will be joining our family in July.  It was also a trip home to say goodbye.  Last Thursday morning my Grandma had a massive stroke, and after a thorough MRI the doctors were very honest that she would be going Home to Jesus soon. 

My emotions were in a million places as we headed east (and oh my hormones don’t help that!)  I was so excited to share our news with our family and friends.  I was excited to finally tell (a), as we didn’t want him to know ahead of time and accidentally “spill the beans.”  We were excited since we had also picked a name and were going to get to share it as we shared the gender.  (a) was SO excited about his “farm birfday party” and getting to see all his “friends and fambily!!”  Listening to his joyful chattering the whole trip made me look forward to arriving so I could watch him enjoy the weekend.  After all, he had asked EVERY DAY last week “Is TODAY my farm birfday party??!” 

I was also feeling sad and anxious as I knew that as soon as we arrived, we would need to head to the hospital to say “goodbye” to Grandma.  Those final goodbyes can be so very hard.  I was not devastated, because I know she had a long (93) and full life.  She was even still living in her own home until the day of her stroke, and she had spent her life loving Jesus- there was no doubt is was getting ready to be someplace far more wonderful than here.  But how do you say “thank you” and “good bye” when you know it is the last time?  As we drove, I kept thinking of all the things I wanted to make sure I told her.  I thought of all the things I owed her thanks for… making me a writer because she was such a stickler for grammar.  Many weeks I wince at myself as I know I often break some rules for the sake of “voice” and creativity- and I know Grandma’s precious caregiver, Jodie, read her my blog every week.  I always hoped she would forgive my rule-breaking!  For picking us up at school when we were sick… it was hard for Mom to get away from her teaching job, and well I’m not sure Dad even knew where my elementary school was (joking… mostly…).  For being a fabulous cook, and always being there for our programs and events.  She lived there on the farm with us my whole life, so I have very few memories that she was not somehow a part of.  I don’t think it is possible to say “thank you” enough, but I was very grateful for the chance to try, and to tell her one last time that I loved her. 

Love this picture from back in her "Red Hatter" days :-)

As we celebrated on Saturday, I couldn’t help but thank God for that “hello, goodbye” weekend.  That He brings joy at the same time as tears.  That we could celebrate and mourn at the same time.   That as one generation is leaving this life, another one is on the way- one that I pray will carry on a heart for Jesus and the love of family.   That our glimpses of life through the “hello, goodbye window” show us the beauty of God’s love for us that He both gives and takes away. 

On Saturday we celebrated three years with one amazing blessing, and the excitement that another little cowBOY will be blessing our lives this summer.  And this morning, very early, we received news that today Grandma is celebrating her first day in Heaven. 

“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21