Hello, Goodbye Celebration

There is an award winning children’s book titled The Hello, Goodbye Window.  It is a story about a little girl and the adventures she has at her grandparents’ house.  Nearly everything important at their house happens through the window, by the window, or around the window in the kitchen.  It is a sweet story told from the child’s perspective.

I couldn’t help but think of that book title as we drove to Indiana over the weekend.  It was a hello, goodbye weekend.  We were headed “home” to celebrate (a)’s third birthday with family and friends and to reveal the gender of new baby who will be joining our family in July.  It was also a trip home to say goodbye.  Last Thursday morning my Grandma had a massive stroke, and after a thorough MRI the doctors were very honest that she would be going Home to Jesus soon. 

My emotions were in a million places as we headed east (and oh my hormones don’t help that!)  I was so excited to share our news with our family and friends.  I was excited to finally tell (a), as we didn’t want him to know ahead of time and accidentally “spill the beans.”  We were excited since we had also picked a name and were going to get to share it as we shared the gender.  (a) was SO excited about his “farm birfday party” and getting to see all his “friends and fambily!!”  Listening to his joyful chattering the whole trip made me look forward to arriving so I could watch him enjoy the weekend.  After all, he had asked EVERY DAY last week “Is TODAY my farm birfday party??!” 

I was also feeling sad and anxious as I knew that as soon as we arrived, we would need to head to the hospital to say “goodbye” to Grandma.  Those final goodbyes can be so very hard.  I was not devastated, because I know she had a long (93) and full life.  She was even still living in her own home until the day of her stroke, and she had spent her life loving Jesus- there was no doubt is was getting ready to be someplace far more wonderful than here.  But how do you say “thank you” and “good bye” when you know it is the last time?  As we drove, I kept thinking of all the things I wanted to make sure I told her.  I thought of all the things I owed her thanks for… making me a writer because she was such a stickler for grammar.  Many weeks I wince at myself as I know I often break some rules for the sake of “voice” and creativity- and I know Grandma’s precious caregiver, Jodie, read her my blog every week.  I always hoped she would forgive my rule-breaking!  For picking us up at school when we were sick… it was hard for Mom to get away from her teaching job, and well I’m not sure Dad even knew where my elementary school was (joking… mostly…).  For being a fabulous cook, and always being there for our programs and events.  She lived there on the farm with us my whole life, so I have very few memories that she was not somehow a part of.  I don’t think it is possible to say “thank you” enough, but I was very grateful for the chance to try, and to tell her one last time that I loved her. 

Love this picture from back in her "Red Hatter" days :-)

As we celebrated on Saturday, I couldn’t help but thank God for that “hello, goodbye” weekend.  That He brings joy at the same time as tears.  That we could celebrate and mourn at the same time.   That as one generation is leaving this life, another one is on the way- one that I pray will carry on a heart for Jesus and the love of family.   That our glimpses of life through the “hello, goodbye window” show us the beauty of God’s love for us that He both gives and takes away. 

On Saturday we celebrated three years with one amazing blessing, and the excitement that another little cowBOY will be blessing our lives this summer.  And this morning, very early, we received news that today Grandma is celebrating her first day in Heaven. 

“The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21