A Tribute to Mentors

Over the past weekend some events happened that have caused me to be pretty reflective about the role of mentors. 

Due to injuries sustained in a horrible accident Friday, my family and entire hometown are grieving the heavy loss of our farm’s primary vet, but more importantly a great man.  While Dr. Bill was a very skilled vet who quickly came to our aid during several farm emergencies, the things I will remember most about him were not just what he did for our livestock.  I will remember how he treated US.  He was more than just a vet, he was a friend and mentor.  Dr. Bill was always a “cheerleader” for my sisters and I when it came to our endeavors in 4-H, FFA, and showing cattle in state and national shows.  When he came on a farm call, not only did he work on our animals, he always had a smile on his face, and he was always teaching us girls and explaining what he was doing.  He NEVER discredited us based on the fact that we were young or that we were girls in situations where many others would have written us off for one or both of those reasons.  I even remember a few occasions where he looked at my sweet Daddy, his friend, and laughingly but honestly gave him a gentle nudge to trust his daughters, they knew what they were doing when it came to the livestock.  I never was afraid to call his office or seek his veterinary advice because I knew he would never make me feel insignificant.  In high school, I served as a youth representative to our 4-H council and had the task of selling advertisements for the yearly 4-H handbook.  I approached Dr. McDonald about purchasing an ad for his vet clinic and he bought the back cover of the book.  What I DIDN’T know (until the book came out in print) was that he turned around and used a part of that prime ad space to congratulate me on an award I had recently won.  I was SO touched, but when I thanked him he just smiled and told me he was glad to do it.  He was a man who loved God and his family, and as a young person that spoke a lot to me.  I knew how much I appreciated and respected him in his profession, but to see him openly shine his light as a Christian made such an impression on me that you could be “successful” in more than one way.  I enjoyed his fantastic singing voice that he used to worship, and I got to share a laugh with him just a few weeks ago when we were at my home church for Christmas.  While his loss will be felt by the many, many lives he touched, I also know mine are just a minor few of the NUMEROUS stories I have heard of the way he cared for people and kind things he did.  He left a powerful legacy on our community.  And it makes me reflect on what kind of mentor I am to those watching me. Do I make a conscious effort to make people feel significant no matter their age or experience?  Am I an encourager?  Do I shine for Jesus in ways that point others to Him?  Thank you, Dr. Bill, for being someone who did those things in my life. 

On Sunday, a series of bizarre events ended up with me being sent to the Emergency Room for an eye issue.  (Yes, I am going to be fine.  It was a little scary, but only ER worthy because the initial doctors I saw felt the need for more tests that can only happen in the Emergency Room when it is Sunday and the eye drs office is closed.)  Of course, I couldn’t see to drive so (A) had to take me, which also meant (a) had to tag along.  The fact that he was along was a little chaotic, and I was scared to death of him being around all the flu germs from basically everyone else around us.  Thankfully my sister was in the area and came to rescue him from all the “excitement.”  Today, after everything had calmed down and I had seen yet another dr, (a) was talking to me about what had happened and what he had done while he was with my sister.  The thing that was most precious to me however, was that he kept saying over and over “My Daddy help Mama!! My Daddy is up, up, UP!  My Daddy help Mama!! My Daddy is up, up, UP!” (complete with hilarious hand motions!) Despite all the crazy things that were happening, and chaos around him the thing that he remembered most was that his Daddy was helping his Mama.  (I assume the up, up, up was giving Daddy some sort of recognition for this haha.)  I am so grateful that is the kind of role model my little boy has-  a man who is a loving, concerned husband who does whatever it takes to take care of me.  What an amazing mentor to look up to, what a worthy goal for (a) to strive to be. 

While my emotions are still running high from the events of the weekend, I am so thankful for the reminders about the power of mentors.  I am heartbroken, but also grateful for the opportunity to become more mindful that it is my little day to day actions toward others that matter the most.  Whether it is how I encourage or teach, the way I react to unexpected chaos, or make people feel significant in every situation- the power to be a mentor who points others toward Jesus is an opportunity I should never take for granted. 

“Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you.  Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.”  Hebrews 13:7 (NIV)

Chicken or Pig

Many times, I have heard the story of the farm animals trying to decide what kind of favor they could do for their beloved farmer.  They had the idea of fixing him a wonderful breakfast- the chicken suggested bacon and eggs; to which the pig replied, “for you that’s a contribution, for me that’s total commitment!”  It of course is a funny little story, but comes with such a heavy thought… am I looking at a contribution or a total commitment? 

On Sunday, our minister began his message with the question “How far are you willing to follow Jesus?”  It was a question that hit me very heavily.  I have always said I trust in Jesus, and that I am willing to do what He asks of me… but for the most part that has never been tested.  It is easy to say I am willing to follow Him when all it takes is a contribution- when I could write a check for the situation.  It is easy to say I am willing to follow Him when it only requires me to contribute a few extra hours of my time.  It is easy to say “I trust you” when it is just about the details coming together for an event.  It is easy to say “I trust you” when it is a very small step out of my comfort zone.  But I will admit, the past few months it has been much harder to say “I am willing to follow You, Jesus.”  It is harder to say “I am willing to follow You, Jesus” when it requires full commitment… when it might mean uprooting your life, when it might mean moving away from your family, leaving your friends, giving up the home where you began your family, surrendering a job you love, and completely starting over.  While our family’s future is still totally uncertain, all of those are very real possibilities, and to be completely honest, I have had a hard time wrestling with it.

I have often been amazed by those who surrender it all, say “I will follow You, Jesus” and head to the mission field.  I have always admired that courage, but admitted that I wasn’t sure I could do it.  It takes much more faith to make a commitment like that, than just the piddly little contributions I have made throughout my life.  And I realize how fortunate I am- I know many of you who are reading have had to say “I trust you, Jesus” with a scary, uncertain situation such as your health, your family, your marriage, your life- all things far bigger than what I am wrestling. 

After church, (A) and I were discussing the sermon over lunch, and I admitted that I’m ashamed to say I think in Jesus’s day I might have been more like some of the followers who turned away, or even one of the Pharisees- because I am SUCH a rule-follower and I have a hard time accepting change, especially if it goes against the rules I have learned (if my sisters are reading this today they are eye-rolling and laughing because they know how very true those words are).  They couldn’t handle following Jesus because they couldn’t give up “the way things have always been” or the teachings that seemed to contrast some of the rules they had always followed.  I’m grateful to live in a time where I have the “whole story” through the Bible and can get a full understanding of who Jesus is and just what He meant with his teaching.  (A) on the other hand, is much more like some of the disciples.  He is brave enough to step out of his comfort zone to follow the calling of Jesus.  He is much less tied to sentimental/emotional things than I am.  During our lunch conversation, he even laughed and admitted he would have been like some of the fisherman who just left their father standing in the boat when Jesus called them to come follow him. (Let me just say, he did NOT mean that as a dig on his dad, just the reality that he is not sentimentally/emotionally tied to things like I am.)  But you know, I realize I need to learn to be more brave and more willing to make an all-in commitment to follow like the apostles did.

As my heart was working through all the thoughts within this lesson… “how far AM I willing to follow Jesus?, how much AM I willing to trust Him?”  my heart was given a gift.  Our service took a turn from our usual contemporary worship style to sing one of my favorite old hymns.  I love music.  I have always loved music.  I was blessed with very musical parents and raised in a very musical home church.  From the time I was a little girl, I was singing in church and soon helping with worship ministry.  And from that upbringing I can truly say, I love BOTH contemporary music and old hymns.  But I will admit, sometimes there is just something extra special to me about going back to sing one of those hymns and be reminded of the words I memorized as a little girl….

Tis so sweet, to trust in Jesus,

Just to take Him at His word,

Just to rest upon His promise,

Just to know, “thus saith the Lord”

Jesus, Jesus how I trust Him,

How I proved him o’er and o’er

Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus,

Oh for grace, to trust Him more.

And I can’t lie, it choked me up a little, it really IS sweet, to trust in Jesus.  To let those words sink in… how I proved Him over and over… so many times in my life He has showed me just how much I can trust Him.  Just in the few months of transition in our lives He has shown me how much I can trust Him….

When we weren’t sure how we would make it financially, he showed we could trust Him.  

When we didn’t know where we would worship, he showed we could trust Him. 

When we didn’t know if we would ever “belong” again, he showed we could trust Him. 

When new possibilities looked good on the outside but didn’t feel right, he showed we could trust Him.

When we didn’t know how to put one foot in front of the other, he showed we could trust Him. 

I realize, that if He has shown me over and over how much I can trust Him, that I will continue to trust Him… even with the very hard stuff… because He continues to prove just how trustworthy He is.  And Oh, for grace, to trust Him more…  I’m so grateful for His grace, a little wrestling room for my heart if you will, as I keep learning (even when it’s so hard) to trust Him more. 

No, we still do NOT know ANYTHING about what the future holds, but we know WHO holds it.  So, even on the hard days, I will say “We will follow you, Jesus.  We trust in You.”  I don’t want to be a chicken who just contributes, I want to make a commitment. 

“Come follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” At once, they left their nets and followed him.  Matthew 4:19-20 (NIV)

When You're Cold and Sick....

It’s funny how perspective can change.  I have NEVER been a fan of winter, or snow, or cold, or ice, or really any of the things that go with winter.  I have never been a fan of snow days.  Even as a kid, a snow day actually meant more work than a school day, because keeping things going on the farm required far more work in the freezing cold.  As a teacher, I’m not a fan of my plans getting disrupted or the extra chaos that comes with the excitement of that four-letter “s” word (SNOW).  But I am going to admit, I have felt a little different this winter.  In December we had one Saturday with a slight dusting of snow and we took (a) out for his first adventure in it- and he LOVED it!! He laughed and played, and played and laughed.  As a mom, it was SO fun to watch him throw snow, then lick it, then make the dog lick it, then throw some more.  He even kept saying he wanted to build a “'noman” (which was not really an option with less than an inch of snow).  After watching him enjoy December snow so much, I was actually kind of excited yesterday when we received a couple inches.  Usually I would be groaning to watch it continually fall, but yesterday as I sat at my computer working (my school does e-learning days, so I have to be available to my students for set hours during the day) I couldn’t wait for e-learning time and nap time to be over so we could go out and play together.  Actually, my e-learning hours finished while (a) was still napping and I found myself sitting by him, watching over him for any sign he was ready to get up (WHAT!!!??? I’m always milking that nap for every last minute of what I can accomplish while he is asleep!)  I just couldn’t wait to see his face when we got outside.

Fortunately, he didn’t disappoint!  He laughed, and giggled, and threw snow.  He is nearly two and quite conversational, so he told me all his observations about the “’now is coooold” and told me about both of our dogs, and the neighbor dog “play in da ‘now.”  It didn’t even phase him when he fell down a couple times from the combination of bulky snow clothes and ice underneath the snow.  He would giggle and look up at me and say “I fall down!” and then quickly bounce back up.  Nothing phased the fun he was having for nearly an hour until…. He got cold.  And when he was cold it was all over.  The neighbor kids had come over so sweetly to give him a ride on their sleds.  He was having fun, he was telling them about the snow, but when he decided he was cold, there was no consoling him.  He no longer wanted anything to do with the sled, he didn’t want to play with the kids, he didn’t want to walk in it anymore.  He just wanted to cry.  I took him to the house, got both of us un-bundled, snuggled him under a blanket with me but the crying continued because he was cold.  It took quite a while for me to get my usual sweet, silly boy back because all he could focus on was how cold he was. 

Sometimes I think this is so true with our spiritual lives as well.  We can be in a place where we are so happy, and things are going so well, that we are distracted from the fact that we are slowly getting cold.  Growing cold is not something that happens immediately, it takes some time, but we often don’t notice it happening until we realize we are freezing and there is no quick fix.  It is easy to skip our prayer time one day because we are so busy, or to decide we are just too tired to fit in devotions tonight.  We are happy, things are good, we feel like God is blessing us, so we just start skating by.  We might even slip and fall here and there, but as long as we are able to bounce back up we don’t notice until it hits us smack in the face… we are freezing spiritually because we have allowed ourselves to stay too long out in the cold.  We need to bring ourselves back to the warmth of the Father’s love.  When (a) was cold he knew the house was where he wanted to go.  He knew that going back there was where he could get warm.  Just like the warmth that was inside our home, God has never moved from us, we are the ones that wander away from Him.  And just as it takes time to grow cold, it takes time to become warm again.  It is not just something that happens overnight.  It takes time and nurturing. 

Last week I was very sick.  I didn’t go to the dr for official diagnosis, but we are very sure it was full blown influenza (I totally DON’T recommend it!!)  The symptoms were very rough, but one of the things that was toughest for me was how much I really had to take care of myself for it to get better.  I will admit that I am always bad about pushing myself too much.  I let symptoms completely stop me in my tracks before I’m willing to take care of myself (though I will say this time it hit me quick), and then I push myself to go back to work way before my body is ready, I don’t stay down while I am sick, I try to accomplish things instead of resting, and ultimately it takes longer to get better.   This time however, I tried to do my best.  While I was at home I literally did not do anything but rest.  I let (a) and (A) take care of everything around the house (ok, so (A) was taking care of things (a) just followed him around and told me “I help! I help Daddy!” But it was cute!)  I tried not to push myself as much as usual, and in a few days’ time I was starting to feel better. 

When we know we are sick spiritually, we have to slow down and allow time for God to nurture us.  We have to stop the running in 60 directions and simply rest in Him.  Sometimes we have symptoms telling us we need spiritual healing, and other times it hits us quickly, but either way we must learn to STOP and let him heal us.  When we try to keep going, ultimately it takes longer to get better.  In our home we have found this is true when God is healing your heart.  When we try to muscle through on our own power, when we try to declare ourselves “ok” it really is only taking longer to heal.  We have to rest in the arms of the ultimate healer and allow him to take care of our hearts and our spiritual health. 

I am grateful for a Father who loves us enough to take our cold, sick, hearts and wrap them in the warmth of His healing love. 

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”  Matthew 11:28 (NIV)

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.”  Exodus 14:14 (NIV)

2017 Top Ten Blessings

I gave up making New Year’s Resolutions years ago… It was just a chance to set myself up for failure.  I tred to look at the New Year as a chance to make some plans for myself, but I also have learned that God may have a totally different set of plans that I don’t even see coming.  So instead, the last couple years I have taken the New Year as a chance to look BACK at the blessings of the past year, thank God for those blessings, and look at what I have learned about myself and my faith walk through those experiences.  To be completely honest, 2017 has been a VERY hard year for my family.  It has brought a lot of changes and challenges, but through it all God has continued to bless us and I choose to count those blessings.

So here… (in a general order) are my top ten favorites of 2017:

10.  New Favorite Recipes

              I have always enjoyed cooking.  As a busy mom and teacher, it is certainly hard to find time to cook, but I try to cook for my family as often as possible.  This year brought 3 new favorite recipes to my kitchen.

              -Tomato Basil Bisque (So easy and cheap! I like it best with FRESH basil)

              -CreamyChicken and Wild Rice Soup (I add mushrooms and carrots to make it a little more hearty, and because I make it more hearty I cut the flour back to ½ cup)

              -HerbedWatermelon and Feta Salad  (Seriously- the strangest mix of ingredients but I LOVE it! Fabulous summer salad! Especially since I grow several of my own herbs from spring to late fall)

9.  Spring Mill State Park Adventures

         Spring Mill has always been one of my favorite places.  I grew up only about 20 minutes from the park and it was often the scene of some of my favorite summer adventures for my family- picnics, afternoons at the park’s public pool, playing in the creek, exploring the pioneer village.  It had been several years however, since I had spent much time there.  This spring/summer brought me back a few times and a chance to introduce (a) to the fun of this fabulous state park and make new memories there with him.  We treated my mom to a Mothers’ Day picnic, hike, and afternoon in the pioneer village.  Then a few weeks later my guys and I spent an afternoon of fun there. 

8.  Spring Break with my Grandparents

              I am fully aware that I am incredibly blessed that in my mid 30’s I still have 3 living grandparents.  They have been such wonderful influences on my life and I absolutely LOVE getting to share my son with them.  The guys and I were fortunate enough to spend our spring break this year in Louisiana with my maternal grandparents.  They introduced (a) to his first Cajun food- which he loved, he walked my grandpa around the yard and porch 7,392,645 times, they shared ice cream cones, laughter, and played for endless hours.  I never get tired of my Grandpa’s stories from his Air Force career or days as a child in my hometown.  I could gain 100 lbs eating my Granny’s delicious cooking, and once again this trip I was so grateful for her seamstress skills as she has helped with more than one special event outfit (NOT related to the weight gained from her cooking!!)  I cherish the memories we have made with them, and this spring break was no exception.

7.  Running

              Never, ever, in a zillion years would I have thought RUNNING would make a top ten list in MY life… but it happened.  In April we joined a Bible study group in our town called “Run for God.”  It was a 12 week study that went with training for a 5K and culminated with the race at the end.  I had no idea how much “therapy” running would be for me.  It was great time to spend as a family getting our runs in together, and was an excellent push for me to step out of my comfort zone.  From July to Sept we completed 3 different 5Ks as a couple and (A) did one other by himself.  I now find myself CRAVING a run several times a week and ENJOYING the time I spend pounding the pavement.  While I am certainly NOT an accomplished runner by any means, it is a discipline that was a huge accomplishment for me.  It was a major lifestyle change for me to become a runner, and one change I plan to keep!

6.  Church Camp

              Camp has always held a very special place in my heart.  Ever since I was a young girl I loved attending camp.  I was baptized at camp, I met (A) at camp, we spent several of our college summers working for a camp, and volunteering at camp is our favorite way of doing ministry together as a couple.  This year was one of my all-time favorite weeks we have ever coordinated.  We introduced new elements for learning and committing to spiritual growth, poured our hearts in to team-teaching/speaking together for the first time, shared our faith with 150+ students through the 3 events we deaned, brought in a great Christian comedian, and the week ended with one of my BEST EVER camp highlights- I had the privilege to baptize one of my former 3^rd grade students who was in attendance at our week.  I don’t even have adequate words to express how much this year’s camp ministry experience blessed and taught me.

5.  One Life Out Loud

              For a long time, God had been laying on my heart the fact that I should continue to pursue women’s ministry through writing.  I took some time to think and pray about the best way for that to happen and in June of 2017 I launched this blog.  I had no idea how much it would teach me, how it would grow me in my own faith, and what a blessing it would be to my life.  I can’t thank my readers enough for your kind words and encouragement weekly.  I am humbled and blown away that hundreds of people each week read my words, and I fervently pray that those words glorify God and bring people closer to Him.  As with the commitment to running, blogging has been an act of personal discipline that has HUGELY changed my life, and one I am excited to continue in the coming year.

4.  Gifts of Experience

              A few years ago, we made a decision to start cutting back on gifts of “things” and starting giving more gifts of experiences.  It is a decision I would HIGHLY recommend if you have never tried it before.  As I mentioned earlier, a picnic day at Spring Mill with all of her girls was my mom’s Mothers’ Day gift. My sister gave (a) tickets to both the zoo and children’s museum, both of which led to SOOO much fun together as a family and wonderful memories made.  Instead of gifts for our 10^th wedding anniversary we took a vacation together (just the two of us) to celebrate.  (A) surprised me in late July with tickets to see one of my favorite bands (the Oak Ridge Boys) in late Oct as my Christmas gift.  And in August, he asked if he could have Oct tickets to see Garth Brooks as his Christmas present (to which of course I said YES!)  We made so many fun memories through these experiences, and I didn’t have to worry about anything fitting incorrectly or needing to be dusted.   

3.  Faithful, Faith-filled Friends

              As this year presented some very difficult challenges, it also led us to experience the love and support of faithful friends.  Ministry friends from across the country stepped in to provide prayers, love, and encouragement. Our church camp “family” literally held us up and introduced us to our new “in the meantime” church home which has been another source of encouragement and spiritual growth.  Church family from 10 years of ministry have showed love and appreciation for all my husband has poured into them, and we have seen what TRUE friendship is really worth.

2.  Toddler Parenting

              Sharing our lives with a busy little boy has been SUCH an adventure- and I wouldn’t trade it for the world!!  He loves to dance, read, play with his dogs, feed cows, ride horses, wear glasses, lick things, make messes, eat 24/7, and snuggle.  He would live outside if we would let him and he is fiercely independent (I have NO clue where he gets that, haha!)  He is QUITE a talker who knows how to try our patience and melt our hearts, and usually switches between those two things within a matter of minutes.  Parenting has been challenging and fun, exhausting and joy-filled all at the same time.  I pray we are teaching him daily how to be a gentleman, a friend, and most importantly how to love Jesus.  We realize what a precious gift we have in him, and thank God every day for that privilege.

 

 1.  Celebrating 10 Years of Marriage

              It really is true, time flies when you’re having fun!  When I married him 10 years ago, (A) promised me there would never be a dull moment- and he has held true to that promise!  We laugh a lot, we push each other to be our best, we have clung to each other through very tough days, cheered each other to victories, and we have taken care of each other in illness.  We are a ministry team, a parenting team, and best friends.  In April we celebrated our anniversary, but more importantly, every day I am thankful to God for what we have together through him and what He has brought (A) and I through together. 

I hope the New Year brought you a chance to count your blessings from our Father who does not change in His love for us, and I pray that 2018 brings you many more of God’s good gifts!!

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17 (NIV)

Happy New Year!!