Icons

An old, red, wooden barn and three blue silos are icons of my childhood.  I can’t count the times I walked into that feedway to help feed ground feed to bulls, or how many times it was my job to stand watching over the filling waterbox.  The blue silos were like a homing beacon as to how close we were back to the main part of the farm.  And most of the time I was helping with chores in the “red barn” it was with my Papaw who always worked in blue, denim, Key brand overalls- those were the icon of his chore wardrobe. 

This week I brought (a) and (b) to come spend a few days with their grandparents in Indiana.  As we were out on a pony riding adventure, I took (a) to visit the old, red barn.  The decades and the elements aren’t kind to old wooden barns, and it hasn’t been in use for many years now.  But he had fun opening the walk-through gates and adventuring into the old pens.  He walked up and down the concrete feedway looking for treasurers and asked 4,284 questions, many of which I did not have answers to, but many of which I could tell stories from my time standing in that same spot as a child.  I hadn’t thought much about their outfits that day, but (a) had chosen to wear his “God Bless the Farmer” t-shirt, and (b) was wearing his blue overall shorts… though neither of them were too excited about a picture, I had to take one anyway, there were so many iconic pieces of my heart all together in one place. 

This coming weekend my parents will celebrate their 40^th Wedding Anniversary.  Through those years they have been icons to me of what a successful marriage looks like.  They work as a pretty great team and together have raised three pretty cool women, navigated the ups and downs of the cattle markets, planting & harvest seasons, volunteered innumerable hours of time and energy for their church, Junior Angus members, and many other agriculture organizations.  They have supported each other’s careers and achievements, they have always parented with a united front, set the example of an enormous work ethic, and never hid their love and affection from us.  They were the pillars of instilling their faith in us and showed us the strength and value in standing as a family. 

Those icons in my life served as reminders and markers of goals… reminders of values and character traits I want to stand for, of things I want to pass on to my boys, of who I want to be a role model as.  They always bring back a sense of security and keep me grounded.  It reminds me of the legacy discussed in the book of Deuteronomy where God’s people were told to impress His commandments on their hearts and pass them down to their children.  The faith values and family values that were passed on to me through my parents’ marriage and our farm upbringing will always be on my heart, and I can only pray that (A) and I will be able to establish those kinds of iconic values in our boys as well.

“These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children.  Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:6-9

Discovery

The last couple months of quarantine have been a time of great discovery in our house.  We live back in the woods, and therefore have a lot of wildlife in the yard frequently.  (a) has discovered that he LOVES to watch for the deer, wild turkeys, squirrels, rabbits, all the various birds especially hummingbirds, coyotes, and occasional turtle.  When watching them he expects everyone to be quiet, and his tiptoe sneaking and discovery faces make me giggle every time.  He also discovered the creek that runs through the front of our property and now spends hours a week playing there.  (b) has discovered how to crawl and is now into EVERYTHING.  He has also discovered his “voice” and is not about to be out-talked by his big brother.  He seems to have a new word or trick every single day.  I have discovered that in the three years since we were last in the stage of “learning to self-feed” I had forgotten just how insanely messy it is. 

We have made some discoveries together as (A) and I have been introducing (a) to some of our favorite childhood movies made in the 60’s and 70’s (he is especially fond of Swiss Family Robinson and Bedknobs & Broomsticks).  We have discovered some of the “hacks” to taking care of parts of our property, and have discovered ways to repurpose some of the spaces and items we inherited when we bought the property 2 years ago.  (A) and I have also been discovering the lengths of mess and mud we will go to if it brings joy to our kids. 

I have discovered that (a) prefers when I am dressed up with hair fixed and make-up on as “Pretty Mommy” as opposed to hair in a bun when he says I “just look like plain old girl.”  I have discovered that the two little boys in our house consume more food a day than either of us adults and they DEFINITELY make more messes and laundry.  I have discovered that nap time is the most productive hour and a half of my day, but playtime is the most fun.  In these 9 weeks I also discovered that a 12volt John Deere Gator and a joggling stroller were some of the wisest investments we have made as parents. 

We have discovered that online church can be a huge blessing as it has allowed family and friends who are not local to join us, and it has also given us a chance to be a part of services in other churches that we could not normally attend.  I discovered that as an educator, I could “pivot” on less than 24 hours notice, and I could find ways to show students my love and attention that I had never used before. 

While I am very anxious to get back among our friends and family, and I would love to sit down in a restaurant or snag some new summer clothes, we have discovered some things during this time that I don’t want to forget.  The awe and wonder of discovery has brought a lot of joy and purpose to our days.  I pray that as our lives slowly open back up, we would carry with us the discoveries of this unique time.

“The spiritually hungry are always ready to learn more, for their hearts are eager to discover new truths.” Proverbs 18:15

A Mommy Snuggle

After a bump to the head, (a) came running to find me yesterday morning.  He told me what had happened and said “I think I need a Mommy snuggle.”  For him this is a pretty uncommon request, because he makes no bones about the fact that Daddy is his favorite human, so I dropped what I was doing to oblige his Mommy snuggle.  It only lasted a few minutes before he decided he was better and ready to run around again, but it made my whole day.  When (A) got home he even told him about hitting his head playing and that “I needed a Mommy snuggle and that made it not hurt anymore.”

It was a cute phrase that I hadn’t heard him use before, but it also made me think of how many times in my life I have needed a “Mommy snuggle” to make things better.  As a child a hug and kiss always managed to heal a skinned knee or a bumped elbow.  As a teenager a hug from Mom while I cried helped heal a broken heart whether it was over a missed goal, unmet achievement, or a stupid boy.  And many times in my adult life a phone call would have to do, when what I really just needed was a “Mommy snuggle” to navigate the emotional waters of life.  I’m thankful that she always answers her phone, no matter what time it is, and she always has time to listen when I’m frustrated or sad or excited or need advice. 

And now that she is “Mama K” her snuggles are needed even more, as two little boys compete for room on her lap.  Throughout quarantine, (a) has Facetimed her more times than I can count just to tell her what he has been up to or ask when “the sickness” is going to be over. 

Because I now know what it is like to need a “Mommy snuggle” even as an adult, I think of how hard it must have been for my mom to spend the largest part of her adult life ½ way across the country from her own mom.  I think of how may times as she was raising us that she probably needed a “Mommy snuggle” or a few minutes of advice from someone who had been in her mommy shoes. 

A few months ago, my mom’s parents moved from their home in Louisiana to the family farm in Indiana.  It thrills me to get to see them now spending holidays, birthday, and events together that they have been missing out on doing in person for 40+ years.  Spending this Mother’s Day as four generations together was the only gift I really wanted.  I look even more forward to our trips to the farm this summer and in the future as I think about my boys being able to get 3 generations of “Mommy snuggles” just by walking around the living room. 

Because after all, don’t we all just need a “Mommy snuggle”!?

“She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26