Where's Dada?

My son’s favorite person has always been his dad.  His rank of favorites goes something like Daddy, Sadie (our dog), Titan (our other dog), Doc (my sister’s horse), then throw in grandparents, aunts, uncles, childcare workers, his goldfish, and FINALLY I can get a “Mama” in after all of those people… but I’m ok with that because I think he’s dad’s pretty epic too, after all, that is why I married him.  The two of them have been inseparable pals since the first time he was placed in (A’s) arms.  They play together, read stories together, go on adventures together, Daddy does morning routine, bath time, and teaches ornery tricks like growling at the dinner table. 

To (a), “Dada” is his safe place, his strength, his shoulder when he is sad or doesn’t feel good, his best friend, his partner in crime, his source of giggles and tickles, and the one he showers all his love on.  He even loves all his Daddy’s things.  This past Saturday (A) had to be at work early in the morning and was gone before (a) got up, so (a) spent the entire morning taking me around the house pointing out to me “Dada’s towel,” “Dada’s shoes!”, “Dada’s!!” (that was a can of body spray he was holding up), and continually making my phone light up to the backscreen picture of the two of them so he could shout “Dada!!”

As most toddlers do, (a) has a phrase that he uses 1,467,982 times each day- “Where’s …. (fill in the blank)?”  However, the last couple of weeks he has sensed that things are not completely normal in our house and his CONSTANT question is “Where’s Dada?”  While many times the answer is “At work,” there are also TONS of times when he asks “Where’s Dada?”  when the answer is “Right there!” across the room.  He just needs that reassurance that Daddy is still right there close to him, ready to be all the things that he needs. 

While sometimes his constant question over an answer this is so easy to see makes me crazy, it has been a reminder that I have needed to hear.  That NO MATTER WHAT, our Father should be my safe place, my strength, my shoulder when I am sad or my heart hurts, my best friend, my source of joy, and the one I shower all my love on.  Over the last few weeks I have found myself asking sometimes, “Father… where are you!?” and He has graciously found thousands of ways to remind me “I’m at work in your life.  I’m right here!”  Sometimes I just need the reassurance that our Heavenly Father is still right here close to me, ready to be all the things that I need. 

Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.¹⁴ I will be found by you,” declares the Lord

                           Jeremiah 29:12-14a           

In the meantime, I sure love sharing my life with these two and watching the love of an amazing Father and his beloved little one.  

Great is Thy Faithfulness

Great is Thy faithfulness, Oh God my Father,

There is no shadow of turning with Thee

I grew up on a red hymnal with the words “Hymns of Faith” printed on the front.  And this song, Great is Thy Faithfulness, was always one I loved.  It is one I often sing to (a) at bedtime and one I always smile when I hear.  But I will admit, sometimes I forget just how true it is…

Thou changest not, Thy compassions they fail not,

As Thou has been, Thou forever will be.

Change is not usually something I look forward to- I mean really, who does?!  But when change is not by choice, I realize how much it means to have an unchanging God.  Even when things don’t feel good, God is STILL Good.  Even when you are scared, God is STILL shining light on the next step (and I can’t lie- sometimes I would REALLY like to see the next 3-4 steps at a time, but that doesn’t always happen).  Even when you feel wounded, God is STILL compassionate and loving toward his children.  He often sends His people to show compassion and to bandage your wounds.

Great is Thy faithfulness, Great is Thy faithfulness,

Morning by morning new mercies I see.

I have always been a planner and a girl who is prepared.  Even as an elementary age girl I kept a calendar and a day planner complete with “important deadlines,” my social events, birthdays, and upcoming plans I did not want to chance missing.  I have been a list maker, and I always check it twice to make sure I am prepared.  My family can still tell you about the list from 1998 that I literally labeled at the top as “List of things for if I forget I should be SHOT!” (Hey- it was a hectic and important week in my 14-year-old life!)  That being said, when I lost control of the plan for my life I was immediately in a tail-spin.  But living day by day has allowed me to see something I often didn’t notice before… morning by morning new mercies I see.  When I am taking things day by day I am seeing each day’s mercies and blessings as beautiful gifts.  They have come in the form of cards, hugs, encouraging words, meals shared, childcare offered, seats saved, the grin and giggle of my little boy, and so many other precious blessings that I often would have overlooked if I wasn’t searching for them morning by morning. 

All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided.

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me.

And it is true… all I have needed, and then some.  God has shown us how graciously He provides.  In one particular situation in the last week we had been praying very specifically over our need and had ask God that, if He was willing, there were some details that were important to fall just a certain way.  We also asked a close circle of friends to pray specifically over those details as well.  Later that very day, (A) called to tell me the need had been met… down to EXACTLY every one of the details plus a tiny kick more.  Overwhelmed with gratitude my sweet hubby said to me, “I’m SHOCKED!” And through tears I told him, “I’m NOT.”  While I do NOT believe that God is a genie-in-a-bottle to grant all our wishes and requests, He continues to show my family that HE IS FAITHFUL.  And I knew that such a specific answer to prayer was a chance to remind us that He will provide.  Thank you, Lord… GREAT IS THY FAITHFULNESS.  

Please Come and Worship with Us...

Six simple words: Please come and worship with us….

When they came through on my phone just after midnight on Saturday, my friend could never have known just how much they would mean to me.  They were literally a lifeline. 

Our little family is in a period of transition.  The transition came swiftly and we were very unprepared for the way it happened.  For the first several hours we were reeling with devastating sadness and loss and overwhelming uncertainty, but it didn’t take long for God’s people to show up in mighty ways.  Calls, texts, and messages of love and support starting coming from 10 different directions but the first moment I knew we were going to be ok was the moment I read the invitation “Please come and worship with us…”  I looked across the room at my very broken husband as I read it to him, and I was wracked with tears as I said, “I want to go.  Can I say ‘Yes!’ Will you be ok?” And he responded, “Yes, let’s go.  I WANT to go.”  And in that moment God whispered deep into my soul that we were going to be ok. 

As a girl who was raised in the church and married in to ministry, I have not received many invitations to church in my life (mostly because I was already there).  But until I was hurting, I had no idea how much an invitation to worship together could mean in someone’s life.  For someone to invite my family, broken as we were, to join them to sing praises, hear powerful promises from scripture, and feel the presence of God together, was healing salve in a gaping wound.   And it made me think… if a simple invitation to come and worship could mean so much to me, what could it mean in the life of someone else? How many times have I been too nervous to ask, so I withheld the invitation.  Or I was ready, but found some way to convince myself they were going to say no, so I just decided not to say anything.  I have vowed to myself that in the future I will remember what a lifeline that invitation was to me when I desperately needed one, and I will strive to throw it to others.

Please come and worship with us…

-Where you are free to share, but we aren’t going to ask any questions

-Where your tears are ok

-Where you will be unconditionally loved

-Where it is ok, to NOT be ok

-Where we will love you where you are

In our time of transition, I am so grateful for that lifeline, and the many others that have been extended to my family through calls, texts, messages, hugs, invitations, encouraging words, and most of all prayers.  God is SO very faithful, and those lifelines have been that reminder.

Please come and worship with us…

²³ Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. ²⁴ And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, ²⁵ not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

         Hebrews 10:23-25 (NIV)

What Your Preacher's Wife Won't Tell You

Today what I’m going to share with you is scary for me… like the idea of standing in front of a crowd in a swimsuit kind of scary.  But I am going to be very honest with you because I pray I’m not the only girl who feels this way.  I do NOT share it for any kind of sympathy or pat on the back, but I share because I hope this will bring encouragement to other sisters standing in my same size 9 shoes and the ministers they love and support.

What your preacher’s wife won’t tell you, is that the guy up front in the pulpit each week… he’s just like you.  He has a set of fears, anxieties, and stresses.  He worries about his health, his kids, his house repairs, his finances, his job performance, his weight, his to do list, his own faith walk… just like you.  He is exhausted, and stretched thin, and doing his VERY best… just like you.    

What your preacher’s wife won’t tell you, is that the weight of your burdens, your struggles, and your prayer requests come home with him.  He and his family don’t begrudge you for it, because he loves his people and he loves the ministry, but it is not something he can turn off when he walks through the door.

What your preacher’s wife won’t tell you, is that it is very painful to hear people complain when they don’t get their way, criticize the way things are going, or say they are just too busy to plug in to any volunteer opportunities or programs outside of Sunday morning.  It hurts because she knows how hard her husband has worked and how many hours he has poured out to create opportunities, build programs, and grow the church’s family.  Lack of commitment is painful because she knows he has committed 200% of himself to the ministry and others are unwilling to commit even 10%. 

What your preacher’s wife won’t tell you, is that church member emergencies never happen at 10 am on a Tuesday.  They are always during a birthday party, or special family dinner, or double date night, or after the baby has gone to bed.  And he and his family are happy for him to go and be there for you, because he loves his people and he loves the ministry, but it comes with sacrifices to his personal time. 

What your preacher’s wife won’t tell you, is that sometimes it is really hard to juggle all the evening church functions (that other families can pick and choose to attend but her family can’t) with getting quality family time during the week.  And she is happy to see her hubby attend those functions, because he loves his people, and he loves the ministry, but that doesn’t make her miss him any less when he is still at work late while she is home, or he is busy working the event while his family sits without him at another table. 

What your preacher’s wife won’t tell you, is that her family has their share of “stuff” too, they just don’t share it often because they don’t know who they can trust.  It can be hard to discern who truly cares, and who would just like to know about your life to pass it on as juicy gossip.  And that leads to the next thing…

What your preacher’s wife won’t tell you, is that it is often a very lonely role.  She feels truly blessed and humbled to serve alongside her husband in ministry, so she doesn’t want to share her struggles because she doesn’t want to sound like a complainer.  But she is human too, and craves (and cherishes) the bond and trust of a couple good girlfriends who she can be “real” with- no strings attached, no judgments passed.

What your preacher’s wife won’t tell you, is that she spends a lot of time doing her best swan impression.  You know, where what you see on top looks put together, calm, and peaceful- but under the water she is frantically paddling just to stay upright and afloat when it comes to her own and her family’s schedule, healthy, and emotional management.  She only lets you see what’s on top because she wants you to know she is very grateful for ministry opportunities and doesn’t want to be shut out of those opportunities.

What your preacher’s wife won’t tell you, is that she walks a very careful balancing act.  If she doesn’t jump in with both feet, she is accused of being “standoffish” and anti-social.  If she does jump in with both feet, she quickly faces unrealistic expectations of what all she should be responsible for.

What your preacher’s wife won’t tell you, is how desperately she wants you to tell that man you appreciate him and you see the good he is doing and the hard work he is putting in.  That you see him as a person and not just someone who should grant your wishes as to how the Sunday service should run.  She doesn’t want you to wait until your annual Christmas card or October when it is officially “Pastor Appreciation Month.”  Tell him on a random Friday when he checks in to tell you he looks forward to seeing you at church this Sunday.  Tell him on a Sunday when you see him high-five the kids coming in for worship.  He does NOT do ministry for the praise of men, he does it because he knows that he is called by God to love people and love the ministry.  But he is human too- and the words “Thank You” and “I see how hard you work” go a long way to restore his weary heart that he is pouring out daily into what he does. 

What your preacher’s wife WILL tell you, is that her family loves God’s people, and they love serving in ministry. 

She will tell you they WILLINGLY make sacrifices for the good of the Kingdom and the good of the church where they serve. 

She will tell you they covet your prayers always, and a little extra grace on the hard days. 

She will tell you that she loves that man up front, and thanks God for giving him to her. 

She will tell you that SHE did not choose ministry for her family, but that GOD chose ministry for them and they are giving all they have to fulfill that “choosing” for HIM.

 ^"But as God’s ministers, we commend ourselves in everything:

by great endurance, by afflictions,

by hardship, by difficulties,
⁵ by beatings, by imprisonments,
by riots, by labors,
by sleepless nights, by times of hunger,
⁶ by purity, by knowledge,
by patience, by kindness,
by the Holy Spirit, by sincere love,
⁷ by the message of truth,
by the power of God;
through weapons of righteousness
on the right hand and the left,
⁸ through glory and dishonor,
through slander and good report;
as deceivers yet true;
⁹ as unknown yet recognized;
as dying and look—we live;
as being disciplined yet not killed;
¹⁰ as grieving yet always rejoicing;
as poor yet enriching many;
as having nothing yet possessing everything."

2 Corinthians 6:4-10 (HCSB)