Value

The last two weeks have left me reflecting as (A) and I were heartbroken to hear of the loss of a ministry friend, followed by the homegoing of my dear aunt, and then watching the world grieve the loss of a basketball superstar.  Each situation has left me feeling a little different- I hadn’t spoken to our ministry friend for a couple of years since we left the area, but I had always enjoyed working with her on collaborative projects.  I was shocked and hurt at the news, and couldn’t get my mind off the huge number of students who she impacted whom I knew had to be desperately hurting.  It was sudden, unexpected, and tragic- but I have no doubt that she celebrating with Jesus, because He was her greatest treasure.  When my phone rang a few days later with the news of my aunt there was no surprise, she had been ill for about a week and a half- and at 96 it doesn’t take long.  My heart hurt, but I had so much peace.  She’d had a long and beautiful life.  I had just been to see her 2 weeks before and we had shared a wonderful visit.  I left that day after both of us said, “I love you” to each other as we always did when our visits ended.  And while I am not an NBA fan, it was still a headline that made my jaw drop on Sunday afternoon when I walked in the room to my husband (an NBA fan) glued to the CNN report.  I have no attachment to the basketball legend who was killed that morning in a helicopter crash, but it is impossible not to feel sadness for a family who is now facing life without their father/husband, and young daughter.

As thoughts of each situation seem to be stuck on “replay” in my head, all I could think about was how I reacted to each one because of what I value.  After the boys were in bed the other night, (A) and I were discussing the situations.  For us, it has been SO important to value relationships.  It was a value that was modeled to me by my parents.  The time we spent with people was important and precious, and they wanted us to understand that.   It made a huge impression on me. They were never too busy to have a visit with a friend or family member.  In my growing-up years, I can’t begin to count the times we drove hours to attend weddings, graduation parties, funeral visitations, or other social gatherings because it was important to show people that we cared.  And that is a value that is important, to us, that we share with our own boys- so whenever possible, without hesitation, we drive long distances to attend birthday parties, weddings, graduation receptions, funerals, and other social gatherings because we want them growing up to know that relationships are important.

Through the shocking loss of our friend, I still felt joy for her, because I know what she valued and I’m sure her reward was pretty amazing.  I had no regrets with my sweet Aung Margie because I had made it a priority to see her (and take the boys along) as often as possible.  And as the news programs flashed with accolades and moments of fame, my “heart for family” ached for a wife and three little girls and left me wondering above all… did he know Jesus?

What we value creates a lens through which we see the world.  What takes our priorities, our time, our money?  What we value can ease the pain of heartache, or make it worse.  It can add stress or help it melt away.   As our boys grow, I hope they will see the value in people, that they will take the time, make the time, go out of their way- to show people that relationships are important.  I hope they will value their faith in Jesus above all things or accolades of this world.  I want them to share words of affirmation and hope into the lives of others, and open their wallets for worthy causes.  What we value matters, and I’m so thankful that was modeled for me.

“But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moths and vermin cannot destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6: 20-21

Blessed are Those...

Some weeks are a little messier than others... we are in the midst of surviving a stretch of illness that has hit every member of the house in one way or the other. It has made life a little crazy and forced me to have a little “attitude check”. We discussed the Beattitudes in small group the other night and they helped me create a little perspective of my own in light of our situation. *Please note, in NO way am I trying to rewrite scripture, just using it as a reminder for my own heart check*

Blessed are those who get to hold down the house when your spouse is sick, for it means you have a home full of people you share your life with, in sickness and health.

Blessed are those who have a Mama willing to come help out- like you are SERIOUSLY blessed to have her.

Blessed are those parents who wake up with a bed full of kiddos who won’t/can’t sleep in their own beds because children really are a gift from the Lord, and SOMEDAY you will sleep again (I hope it is before the kids turn 40).

Blessed are those trying to keep their head above water at work, because it means you have a job to help provide for your family.

Blessed are those eating cold leftovers in shifts between feeding the little ones and tending to the sick ones, because it means you do still have food on your table to fill your belly.

Blessed are those whose hubby is sweet enough to build you a fire when you are cold and sick, cause that guy is a keeper.

Blessed are those struggling to keep up with the housework while one child cries and the other destroys everything you just cleaned, it means there is a roof over your head and walls to keep you warm and safe even if there are dishes in the sink.

Blessed are those calling out to God in exhaustion asking Him to please help them through this tough spot, because he really does hear our prayers and loves us enough to get us through this.

Be blessed today amid whatever storm you are riding through. And may you household stay healthy (and my mine get that way!)

“Lord Almighty, blessed is the one who trusts in you.” Psalm 84:12

I Wanna Live Like That

For a girl who only has 4 total first cousins (both sides combined), it was a bit of an adjustment to marry into a family where there are four times that many grandkids… on one side alone.  While my family fits around one table, his uses a church fellowship hall for get-togethers and Thanksgiving lunch is an annual family reunion where we even wear name tags (literally).  And though I had a lot of names and connections to learn, joining a big family has come with so many big blessings.  One of my favorite of those blessings is how quickly they made me feel loved like one of their own. 

Within (A)’s family is his precious Great-Aunt Betty.  Growing up in Southern Indiana, I had heard her name long before I met her.  She has been in women’s ministry for 70 years and is well known for her drama performances, speaking engagements, and musical cowbells.  However, after (A) and I had been married for a couple of years I began to get to know her and I very quickly learned why people love her.  Over the years she has become as dear to me as if she were my own aunt.  In my life she has been a huge encourager and cheerleader.  She is wonderful at making you feel loved and special, and she is a prayer warrior.  When we came through a hard ministry transition, Aunt Betty was one of the first phone calls I received.  She saw our announcement and easily “read between the lines” that our hearts were broken.  She called and asked us to come over because she wanted to love on us and pray over us in person.  I have been blessed to learn from her as she taught several speaking engagements and been humbled that she has both introduced me and come to some of mine.  She follows my blog and continues to encourage my dream to someday publish a book.  She always reminds us that she loves us and is proud of us, and above all, she is praying for us.

This past weekend we were fortunate to make a quick Indiana run to attend her 90^th birthday celebration.  It was a party that did not disappoint- complete with a “roast” by several friends and family members and she performed some songs on her cowbells with a talent that few could possess, especially at 90.  As I sat listening to the stories and looked around the church at the HUGE crowd who had come to celebrate, I could not stop thinking of the words to a song by Sidewalk Prophets.

I want to live like that,

And give it all I have

So that everything I say and do

Points to You

Aunt Betty lives a life that is on purpose for the Glory of God.  And in doing so, she has impacted SO very many lives for The Kingdom, mine is just one of them.  As I listened to people speak of how she had loved them, counseled them, and prayed for them, all I could that was “I wanna live like that.”  I want to live in a way points people straight to Jesus and makes them feel so very loved in the process.  I want to live a life that is so on purpose for His glory, that at 90 I am also still booking speaking engagements and planning women’s retreats like Aunt Betty is because she knows that God is not done using her until He says He is done. 

While it was such a blessing to celebrate with her, it also gave me a challenge.  It challenged me take a look at my life and question if I am truly living full out for the glory of God.  It challenged me to think about the way I interact with people, the mindset I have, and the way I spend my time.  It challenged me to think, “I wanna live like THAT.” 

I know you are reading, Aunt Betty, so THANK YOU for being such an example in my life.  I love and appreciate you!

“In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in Heaven.” Matthew 5:16

Nothin' But the Good Stuff

Oh the week we go back to routine… it is always rough after that beloved Christmas break is over.  Though the kiddos didn’t let us sleep in any over break, we were still able to start mornings slowly over a nice big breakfast and PJs until 9 a.m.  There were days full of snuggles and movies, evenings filled with playtime, and a general sense of relaxation.  This week we were back to reality where mornings were rushed and a little crazy, evenings required preparations for the next day, (A) was back to attending evening meetings, and my heart felt a twinge of hurt that the “schedule” seems to kill relaxation.  Work came with a new set of stresses this week as we took a closer look at state testing data and a dr appointment/pharmacy visit left me with some very grumpy frustrations.  Welcome back to reality!!  But thankfully God kept giving me reminders of why He gave me the word PURPOSE for the year… as the chaos of real life came clouding my vision that word was like a homing beacon back to the good stuff. 

Our (a) loves flavored sparkling water, he calls it “good stuff.”  We don’t let it him have it all the time, but it is a frequent treat for him as it is much healthier than most things he could be drinking.  Even though we don’t let him have it all the time, he asks for it all the time.  Every meal, every snack, and anytime he is thirsty his request is for “good stuff.”  He also knows that if he is at his Mama K’s house (my mom) there will be “good stuff” because she is the one who introduced him to it a couple years ago.  People often giggle when they hear him request it and ask us what he is talking about.  In our house it is such a common request that I often take for granted how funny it usually does sound when he simply asks “I want good stuff, please!”

As we have transitioned “back to reality” this week, I have purposely been watching for the “good stuff” in our day to day and using it as an anchor for my heart.  At school I have taken on a new practice of ending each day by writing down an “awesome of the day” from my classroom- finding SOMETHING positive that happened with my students so that I can shift my focus from frustration to celebration. (I can’t take credit for this idea, I got it from a conference I recently attended- but it has been a very valuable practice so far!)  While evenings are no longer completely full of playtime, I have been intentionally making sure I still took time to sit down for some playtime together, a book or two, or to simply sit and listen as the boys make each other laugh out loud.  We were on purpose in how we framed certain situations- for instance both boys received a flu shot this week and we managed to get (a) so excited about what a “cool” thing this shot was that he didn’t even flinch and actually thanked the nurse for giving it to him.  While the week has been just as crazy, chaotic, and hard as normal… I have purposely looked for the good stuff.  And when I focus on the good stuff, the rest of it doesn’t seem so overwhelming. 

Do I have a ways to go?  Oh yes!! My frustrations made me snippy a few time, the stress did keep me from being on purpose with me eating (that has GOT to change), and we still have to work with purpose to find some solutions to our children’s sleep patterns… but purposefully looking for the good stuff made for a better outlook on the first week of our new year. 

Thank you Lord, that when we live on purpose we get to experience the good stuff!

“for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.” Philippians 2:13

Life on PURPOSE

And just like that… it is a new year, a new decade even!  In some ways it feels like 2019 just began and in others it seems like last January was a million years ago.  The year 2019 made us a family of 4 and brought more feelings of being settled and at “home” in our new life in Illinois.  It brought new ministry opportunities, new friends, a new brother in law, and took my Grandma to live with Jesus.  Though there were some hard pieces, overall it was definitely a year of joy for me.

I say it every year, and I mean it, I am not really one for making New Year’s resolutions.  I’m not good at keeping them, then I deal with guilt, frustration, and feel like I end up taking more steps backward than forward.  Instead, for the past few years I have taken a word of the year.  It really was never something I sat out to do, however it was something God very clearly asked me to do- like so clearly I was not about to tell him “no.”  When I take on a word, I begin by praying about it and very specifically asking God to show me what He would like to focus on for the year.  I then intentionally spend my personal Bible study time focused on that word, look specifically for ways to live that word, and silly as it may be, I even have a hashtag to keep it “in front of me.”  For me, the discipline of a word has been a game changer for my life. BRAVE was incredibly hard, but that word and what I learned in that year was one of the greatest gifts God ever gave to me.  The year of JOY kept me focused on the true Giver of my joy and how, through Him, it could be found in every situation. 

Several weeks ago, I began praying about what my word would be for 2020, and in time God gave to me the word PURPOSE.  The year 2020 I am going to focus on purpose.  There are many verses about purpose in the Bible, and I look forward to taking a closer look at them this year.  Just taking a quick concordance look at the word “purpose” left me realizing that I have no idea what this year of learning is going to hold for me! But I do know this, God has a plan and a “purpose” for it (and I promise to share with you what He is teaching me along the way!)

Here is what I have realized so far… I have spent the last couple years in survival mode.  Sometimes there is nothing wrong with that, it is what we have to do.  There were major changes in our life in 2018 and it was a year of just learning how to navigate the day to day.  In 2019, there was a lot of survival mode that came with pregnancy and adapting to life with a newborn.  And while survival mode is fine and totally necessary for a season, I believe it is not a great way to live an entire life. 

In listening to the words of my almost-four-year-old, “I didn’t do it on purpose!” I have also come to realize that often negative things happen simply because I lack purpose.  From minor issues like gaining a few pounds because I wasn’t on purpose with my eating, to big-time missed opportunities because I wasn’t on purpose with my thoughts or actions.  

In 2020, I pray that I will live life on purpose.  I want to choose my thoughts, and words, and actions with purpose.  I want to parent on purpose, love my husband on purpose, teach and interact with my students and co-workers with purpose, write, speak, and encourage others with purpose.  I want my life to follow the purpose that God has for me.  I want to be willing to let Him use me according to His purpose, in whatever that might be.  I’m truthfully a little nervous to admit that- because I don’t fully know what that is going to look like, or what comfort zones that is going to draw me out of.  But I do know this- when I purposefully put my life in the hands of the one who created it, He will work in ways immeasurably more than what I could ask or imagine.

So here we go 2020… this is life on PURPOSE.

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28