Who I Share My Classroom With

 Right before school started last fall, I found a neat sign to add to my classroom décor.  It says, “What I love most about my classroom is who I share it with.” I loved the sentiment and displayed it proudly on the top of a bookshelf in an area my students frequent.  As teacher appreciation week came and went last week, I looked at that sign frequently.  And it hit me… on a daily basis I physically share my classroom with 15 pretty cool eight-, nine-, and ten-year-old kiddos.  However, they have no idea that they share my classroom with SO many more people.  It is shared with a lot of people they have never met, because who I am as a teacher was shaped by so many teachers who influenced my life.

 My mom was the first teacher that I wanted to model.  She had a fantastic 35 year career teaching high school math.  But she was so much more than a math teacher.  She found ways to take her kids on cool STEM field trips before STEM was even an educational trend.  She never missed a dress-up day, attended every graduation party that we were invited to, cheered for her students at ballgames, served on schoolwide committees, coached academic teams, and sought out professional development opportunities even though she had a life license and wasn’t required to do PD hours.  And those were just the things I noticed from the perspective of an elementary/jr high child- I’m sure if I looked back at her career now with the eyes of a teacher, I would see even more.  I saw her dedication and work ethic, I saw students admire her, and I wanted to be like that. 

 

My students are also influenced by teachers like Mrs. Stuckwisch who helped a fourth-grade-girl develop a passion for novels and project based learning.  And by Mr. Stuckwisch who helped me do more than I thought I could in high school math by having high expectations for his students.  They are influenced by Mr. and Mrs. Wyatt who helped me learn that teachers don’t just want to see their students succeed in the classroom, but more importantly in life, and have continued to encourage me even as an adult.  They don’t know the names of teachers like Ellen Capes, Jennifer Laman and SO many other amazing teachers who helped mold me during the early years of my career by walking me through the ins and outs of curriculum development, successful reading and math group set-ups, and effective classroom systems- and who most importantly loved me and supported me through hard days and celebrated with me on the awesome ones.  My students don't know Diane Abernathy, but have often benefitted from her generosity as she uses her retirement to pour love and belief into younger teachers' classrooms.  They will never meet Mr. B, but they love my “dress for every holiday” that he influenced.  They daily benefit from the encouragement and evaluations of administrators like Dr. Sargent, Mr. Hearne, and Mr. Comer who helped a young teacher believe in herself, try new things, and guided her back in the right direction when she needed that too.  And in the last four years, my students have even felt the influence of my great-grandmother.  I used to love when she told me stories of her experiences as a one-room schoolhouse teacher, and now as I teach in a small, rural school where I have two grades in one room, I have often giggled to myself as I have now related more than once to some of her experiences. 

 

When I think about who I really share my classroom with, we wouldn’t all fit in those four walls.  THANK YOU, to an amazing group of teachers (SO many more than I named here) who poured into me as a student and as a colleague.  Because of YOU, I am a better teacher for it.  And because of you, 15 cool kids benefit every day.  I doubt I will ever live up to the awesome examples set before me, but I will always try.  Happy (belated) Teacher Appreciation Week!

“I thank my God every time I remember you.” Philippians 1:3

Living My Affirmations

 You haven’t heard much from me for a while, and I feel both guilty and heartbroken about that.  But the reality is I have been walking through a tough season, a season where my heart and time and energy have been pulled in multiple directions and grief has added its weight to this season.  I am trying to feel grateful, because the season could always be even harder, and others have been affected more than me.  Yet, the reality does not change that it is still hard. 

 

Monday was “Super Hero” day at school as we prepared for state testing mid-week.  I borrowed a cape and super hero mask from the kids’ toy bin, pulled out some boots and leggings, and then threw on my shirt with the affirmation “I can do hard things” printed on the front.  It seemed like the perfect saying for a super hero.  The weekend had been TOUGH as it had been one of the many weekends where I took a turn of “caregiving” duty with my grandparents, I was exhausted, and I had missed my kiddos and (A).  While I had a good day of school, I was even more exhausted afterwards and then looked at the calendar to realize it was the last Monday of the month- (A) had meetings at church so he wouldn’t be home from work until 8ish.  I ran to the sitter to pick up the two youngest, only to discover they had both had challenging days- this potty-training gig is not for the faint of heart, and (b) simply changes his mind from day to day on how he feels about the situation.  That day he felt like doing his business in his pants then stepping in it and walking all over our sitter’s house tracking the mess around.  I needed a handful of things from the store which is never easy with all three kids in tow, and when we arrived home finally there were still barn chores to take care of and everyone was getting hungry.  (a) really is great help with his horse, (b) just likes to play outside, and (lk) is a pretty good tag along in the stroller so I thought this would be doable- until (a) decided he was too chilly and needed to go inside to change his entire outfit right in the middle of barn chores, and (b) announced another potty-training “situation.”  I hustled to finish the rest of the feeding/chore process and got (b) to the house to start taking care of that mess.  He is ornery and independent, so that in itself presented some challenges.  I finally got him wrangled into the tub and threw his sister in for a bath too.  After getting everyone scrubbed, I wrapped (lk) in a towel and headed to the nursery, only to glance at myself in the bathroom mirror as I passed.  As I pushed my disheveled hair out of the way of my face, I had to full out giggle as my reflection reminded me what I had forgotten- I was still wearing a superhero mask pinned in my hair, a cape was hanging sideways off one shoulder, and my shirt announced “I Can Do Hard Things.”  Guess I better be careful what affirmations I tell myself, there are days I have to live them!!

I had to snap a quick picture, the moment was too funny not to

 But I am not the only one being reminded of my affirmations.  You see a few weeks ago I had the kids out in the yard helping me pick up sticks and limbs after a big storm.  They are often great help outside and didn’t mind doing it.  It was especially helpful because, as usual, I was pushing (lk) in the outdoor stroller as we worked and so I really could only carry things in one hand while I pushed the stroller with the other.  On the back and forth from our burn pile I was met by (a) who was dragging an entire tree branch.  It really was HUGE, I honestly did not anticipate we would be able to move that branch until another day when (A) was available to join us in the yard.  Yet, here he came, dragging this HUGE, heavy branch about 70 yards to the burn pile.  I commented to him how impressed I was and he simply shrugged and matter-of-factly stated “God’s helping me.  He helps me do hard things.”  I wasn’t quite sure I heard him right, as the wind was kind of noise that day, so I asked him “What?” and he repeated to me quite confidently, but in a way that seemed like it wasn’t a big deal, “God’s helping me.  He helps me do hard things.”  I smiled, and agreed, God was great at helping us do hard things.  I complimented him again on how much I appreciated his hard work to help, and that I was really glad he had asked God to help him do hard things.  But as I spoke, I couldn’t help but nearly feel overwhelmed at what lesson he was living out- it is one I think about and try to live out daily right now, God helps me do hard things- but I don’t always announce to them what I’m doing.  Apparently, I’m not the only one listening to my affirmations, my littles are seeing them too.  We’re all, by the grace of God, doing hard things.

 

“I am the Lord, the God of all mankind.  Is anything too hard for me?” Jeremiah 32:27

This limb is MUCH smaller than the huge branch that was (a)'s "hard thing," but I didn't want my heart to forget the lessons he is reminding me

Right Before My Eyes

 Last week, we hit a new milestone in our home.  For the first time ever, we are parents of a six-year-old.  He was one very excited kid as his birthday approached!  It happened to fall on a snow day, so our family was home together and not having to move at the normal pace of chaos.  (A) and I were still in our room around 7:00 discussing how to tackle the day when he came to the door VERY concerned.  He was worried that he wouldn’t be able to get dressed, because he didn’t know if his clothes would fit anymore now that he was six.  We got a good giggle out of the moment, and reassured him that while he was growing quickly, it wasn’t quite THAT quickly and the clothes that had fit yesterday, and earlier in the week would still be just fine. 

This is how the birthday boy came rollin' in the kitchen for breakfast (all of his own doing).  He then held up the 6 fingers, asked me to take a picture, and instructed me on who I was supposed to send that picture to.  I'm not sure if we are 6 or 16.  

 A few hours later in the day, I began to look through pictures and memories of him from the past year to post on social media.  Doing that confirmed my reality that he has grown at a crazy rate of speed this past year, but it also reminded me just how much has changed in our life in 12 short months.  At his birthday last year, I was still expecting his little sister.  Then there were precious pictures of him holding the tiny newborn in the first week or two she was home from the hospital.  And now she is mobile, vocal, and able to get into everything.  She wants to play with him instead of being held and snuggled- and it has happened right before my eyes.

 

As I continued scrolling through the pictures, I shed some tears seeing my healthy, vibrant Granny from just a few short months ago, while knowing now what health challenges she faces and the toll they have taken on her.  I wanted to cry again as I saw pictures of him riding, grooming, and visiting with his sweet pony, Snoopy, who lost a health battle also, right before Christmas.  I watched (b) go from looking like a toddler, to smiling and posing like a little boy, found pictures from the first day of school, and many other milestones from the year.  It was a stark reminder of how quickly things can change, and it all happened right before my eyes.

 

365 days worth of pictures and a flood of emotions.  The reality that our children are growing and developing so quickly, and we can’t hold on to things and people we love forever.  I can’t control any of that, but what I can control are the beautiful memories we are making.  The big ones like trips together and celebrations held, and the small ones like reading books, playing “bears”, breakfast cupcakes, trick-or-treat cherry pie, and birthday dinner off paper football plates.  While my heart twinges a little at how quickly things can change, I will cherish the changes happening right before my eyes.  I know in another 365 days I will be looking back again and my heart will play through another wave of emotions that the memories bring.

 

“I thank my God every time I remember you.” Philippians 1:3

Renew

 Renew.  For the years I worked as an elementary librarian, it was a choice I heard multiple times a day.  Students, usually in the middle of a chapter book, who asked to renew for one more week so they could finish reading.  It was an option I was happy to honor as long as no one else had the book on hold or they hadn’t been hoarding it for the past 6 weeks.  However, it wasn’t exactly a word I expected to hear when I began to pray about what 2022 was going to bring.

 

The more I have thought and prayed about it though, the more fitting it seems to be.  I can’t lie, for the past few years I can’t exactly say I have been thriving, I have been stuck in much more of a survival mode.  Four years ago this month, (A) came out to a town in rural, southern Illinois for an interview at a church he was pretty excited about.  That began a year of moving and massive changes.  The next year we were barely settled and had a baby (b) and started adjusting to life as a family of 4.  That was followed by the (never-ending) pandemic where life as we knew it changed, our careers became more challenging, and we then decided to add one more sweet little (lk) to our tribe.  While I know I am incredibly blessed, I will often admit that sometimes our blessings overwhelm us.  I am mostly exhausted, burnt out, and frazzled.  And I find that after feeling that way for so long, it starts to take a toll on me.

Two of the three who wear me out and fill me up all at the same time!

 I realize there are many things I need to renew.  I have some dear relationships in my life that could use a renewal.  Passions I once thrived on have become “past memories” over the last few years, and my heart is telling me it is time for some of them to return.  I had former eating habits and exercise habits that I would love to renew.  My physical body could use some rest and renewal.  And the more I dug into my Bible the more I realized there are other ways I could renew as well…

              -renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2)

              -renew a steadfast spirit (Psalms 51:10)

              -renew my strength (Isaiah 40:31)

              -renew my life (Ruth 4:15)

And so, as 2022 begins, I’m constantly asking God to show me how He is going to renew me this year.  I will be honest, the first month of the year has already proven it’s share of challenges… making that promise of renewal even more sweet. 

The Best of 2021

 While some would be quick to kick 2021 out the door, I have to admit it sure brought some of the “good stuff” to our family.  I will admit, there were challenges- it was the most challenging year, professionally, of my career thus far, I faced a couple different scary health situations, and we found ourselves saying “goodbye” more times than I would prefer.  But it also brought some incredible blessings.  So, as I do each year… here are my favorites of 2021:

 

5.  Youth Rodeo Season 2

While (a) got a taste of youth rodeo in 2020, this year was an even more exciting adventure.  I watched him make some amazing friends and find mentors, he gained confidence and learned about perseverance, and he watched hard work pay off.  He got serious about practicing and realized that was the only way he was going to get better.  He let me find some “coaches” for him and listened to what they had to say.  He learned from older kids and loved cheering them on as he watched them compete.  This year also brought me some “rodeo mom friends” that I was seriously in need of, and allowed (a) and I a lot of special bonding time as we spent hours together at the barn roping his dummy.  We allowed (b) to compete in one event as well, and he is already preparing for summer 2022, where he has informed us he will “ride sheep!”  I always knew that some day my kids would find activities or sports they would want to be involved with, but watching it happen and all the “feels” and life lessons that come with it have been an amazing blessing to our family.

 4.  Starting Kindergarten

This past year brought a milestone- we joined the “big kid” parents’ club by sending our first child to kindergarten.  Not only is that a big step educationally and socially, I had some nerves about bringing him with me to my school.  I already knew his teacher is AMAZING, but I worried if he would want to lean on me too much since I am just across the hall or if he would be treated differently for being a “teacher’s kid.”  I should have known there was nothing to fear.  He has taken to kindergarten like a fish to water.  He LOVES learning, has made friends with nearly every student in the building, doesn’t complain about homework, and constantly looks for opportunities to extend his learning.  We are so thankful for the great start he has gotten, and while we don’t always remember to clean out his backpack each night, we feel like we are adjusting fairly well to the world of school.

 3.  2021 American Angus Convention

This fall we took our first, real, family vacation.  And while, sadly, we had to leave (b) at home because he could not wear a mask for travel or sit quietly through convention sessions, we still made some amazing memories and had some incredibly special experiences.  It was the first airplane ride (a) remembers, and the first one (lk) had ever been on, we enjoyed the historic Ft. Worth Stockyards, The Texas Cowboy Hall of Fame, the Cowgirl Hall of Fame, the NRS (National Ropers Supply) Ranch, and the guys took in the convention trade show as if it were another attraction.  It was fun to re-connect with Angus friends I hadn’t seen in a few years, and was super special to let (A) catch a glimpse of why the industry means so much to me.  He learned a lot, had a great time, and admitted he was starting to understand why I hold those people and my upbringing so very dear to my heart.  Our trip was topped off by being in the room as my dad was elected to the American Angus Association Board of Directors, and sharing in that celebration.  I had to take some personal days from school (which I RARELY ever do) for us to attend, and it was an important reminder to me that- while I am extremely committed to my job- my job is only one piece to my life, and sometimes there are things I need to prioritize over work.  That trip was a memory I believe I will hold on to forever.

2. Sibling Love

As we prepared to bring sweet #3 home to our family, I was very unsure how the dynamics would change with our children.  (a) has LOVED being a big brother to (b), so I was not worried about him.  He was very excited to meet his little sister and I knew he would be sweet and gentle with her.  (b) however, is pretty independent, cannot be bribed, and sometimes unimpressed with your efforts to do so, so I found myself wondering what he would think of the new baby.  My best guess was that he just wouldn’t be too interested.  Boy was I wrong! From the first afternoon (lk) came home, he has been completely in love with her.  He immediately was asking to hold her, always wanted to make sure she had a paci (even when she didn’t want one), and now that she is bigger he LOVES to make her laugh out loud.  The boys continue to be best friends, and together they ADORE their sister.  I know the day will come win sibling rivalry and fights will hit our house, but for now, I will soak in every minute of watching them together.  It is the sweetest thing in the whole world, and something I hold incredibly close to my heart.

 1.  Londyn Kate

Our hearts just knew there was supposed to be one more little, and she joined our family on April 19^th.  She was by far the greatest blessing of 2021.  Our sweet girl smiles non-stop, flashes her dimples, and expresses herself by sticking her tongue out for many smiles.  She loves to laugh out loud, cuddle, and by now has started crawling all over the place.  She has learned how to keep her brothers in line by pulling their hair when she needs her space, and yet knows how to soothe your soul with a smile and a snuggle.  While I REALLY thought I wanted a third boy, as always God knew best.  Having a sweet little girl has been a lot of fun for all of us, and I look forward to the days of attending women’s retreats together, going on shopping trips, and hope that she will help make sure we are taken care of when we get old.  The last few weeks before her arrival got a little tricky for my health, and were reminders of my priorities.  I had to slow down, prioritize what was important, learn to accept help, and trust God in the timing.  Our little girl brought with her lessons I still needed to learn, even in my third time around as a Mama.  We thank God for her every day.

With its ups and its downs, 2021 was still a year to be thankful for.  It was a precious reminder that “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the Heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” James 1:17