Living My Affirmations

 You haven’t heard much from me for a while, and I feel both guilty and heartbroken about that.  But the reality is I have been walking through a tough season, a season where my heart and time and energy have been pulled in multiple directions and grief has added its weight to this season.  I am trying to feel grateful, because the season could always be even harder, and others have been affected more than me.  Yet, the reality does not change that it is still hard. 

 

Monday was “Super Hero” day at school as we prepared for state testing mid-week.  I borrowed a cape and super hero mask from the kids’ toy bin, pulled out some boots and leggings, and then threw on my shirt with the affirmation “I can do hard things” printed on the front.  It seemed like the perfect saying for a super hero.  The weekend had been TOUGH as it had been one of the many weekends where I took a turn of “caregiving” duty with my grandparents, I was exhausted, and I had missed my kiddos and (A).  While I had a good day of school, I was even more exhausted afterwards and then looked at the calendar to realize it was the last Monday of the month- (A) had meetings at church so he wouldn’t be home from work until 8ish.  I ran to the sitter to pick up the two youngest, only to discover they had both had challenging days- this potty-training gig is not for the faint of heart, and (b) simply changes his mind from day to day on how he feels about the situation.  That day he felt like doing his business in his pants then stepping in it and walking all over our sitter’s house tracking the mess around.  I needed a handful of things from the store which is never easy with all three kids in tow, and when we arrived home finally there were still barn chores to take care of and everyone was getting hungry.  (a) really is great help with his horse, (b) just likes to play outside, and (lk) is a pretty good tag along in the stroller so I thought this would be doable- until (a) decided he was too chilly and needed to go inside to change his entire outfit right in the middle of barn chores, and (b) announced another potty-training “situation.”  I hustled to finish the rest of the feeding/chore process and got (b) to the house to start taking care of that mess.  He is ornery and independent, so that in itself presented some challenges.  I finally got him wrangled into the tub and threw his sister in for a bath too.  After getting everyone scrubbed, I wrapped (lk) in a towel and headed to the nursery, only to glance at myself in the bathroom mirror as I passed.  As I pushed my disheveled hair out of the way of my face, I had to full out giggle as my reflection reminded me what I had forgotten- I was still wearing a superhero mask pinned in my hair, a cape was hanging sideways off one shoulder, and my shirt announced “I Can Do Hard Things.”  Guess I better be careful what affirmations I tell myself, there are days I have to live them!!

I had to snap a quick picture, the moment was too funny not to

 But I am not the only one being reminded of my affirmations.  You see a few weeks ago I had the kids out in the yard helping me pick up sticks and limbs after a big storm.  They are often great help outside and didn’t mind doing it.  It was especially helpful because, as usual, I was pushing (lk) in the outdoor stroller as we worked and so I really could only carry things in one hand while I pushed the stroller with the other.  On the back and forth from our burn pile I was met by (a) who was dragging an entire tree branch.  It really was HUGE, I honestly did not anticipate we would be able to move that branch until another day when (A) was available to join us in the yard.  Yet, here he came, dragging this HUGE, heavy branch about 70 yards to the burn pile.  I commented to him how impressed I was and he simply shrugged and matter-of-factly stated “God’s helping me.  He helps me do hard things.”  I wasn’t quite sure I heard him right, as the wind was kind of noise that day, so I asked him “What?” and he repeated to me quite confidently, but in a way that seemed like it wasn’t a big deal, “God’s helping me.  He helps me do hard things.”  I smiled, and agreed, God was great at helping us do hard things.  I complimented him again on how much I appreciated his hard work to help, and that I was really glad he had asked God to help him do hard things.  But as I spoke, I couldn’t help but nearly feel overwhelmed at what lesson he was living out- it is one I think about and try to live out daily right now, God helps me do hard things- but I don’t always announce to them what I’m doing.  Apparently, I’m not the only one listening to my affirmations, my littles are seeing them too.  We’re all, by the grace of God, doing hard things.

 

“I am the Lord, the God of all mankind.  Is anything too hard for me?” Jeremiah 32:27

This limb is MUCH smaller than the huge branch that was (a)'s "hard thing," but I didn't want my heart to forget the lessons he is reminding me