The View from Above

 Early Sunday morning I had an amazing opportunity.  Because I have a very dear friend who knows the right people, I had the privilege to take a flight in a hot air balloon.  It was the last flight official flight of our local Balloonfest and the guys and I had already spent a good part of the weekend admiring the balloons’ beauty and the awe of how they work.  But the feeling of being in one, early in the morning as the sun was just coming up was even more breathtaking (in a good way!) than I could have imagined. 

 With no loud engine you could still hear all the sounds- the dogs barking, the occasional cars below, the burners of other balloons.  With no glass blocking the view you could see the dew on the fields, sparkle of the sunrise on the local lake, the leafy trees and the dead ones, even who needed to clean out their swimming pool.  With no boosting engine you don’t feel the take-off, just a gentle float up into the air, and even though we had some speed on us, I never felt a strong wind, or the speed at which we were going.  Instead I felt completely secure, and the most incredible PEACE I have felt in a long time.  I tried taking pictures and videos, but they couldn’t possibly capture the beauty or the feeling, so I spend most of the ride with my phone put away just enjoying the experience. 

 The other thing I will never forget from the flight was that I shared it with another first time flyer- only she was in her 80’s and is the dearest, sweetest lady.  Her family crews for this balloon pilot, and she joins along but had never flown.  At the VERY last moment before takeoff, the second passenger felt like she was unable to go that day, and they all turned to “Grandma” to offer her the chance (completely assuming she would say no).  Instead she didn’t hesitate to hop in the basket with me and told me as she flew how tickled she was with herself for doing it and how proud she was that she completely surprised her family by jumping on the opportunity.  We marveled together at the beauty and the peacefulness of the experience.  When it was over, we landed at a gorgeous farm, and I stayed with her just to help make sure she didn’t slip on the wet grass as we went down in and back out of a small ravine to get where we needed to be.  As we walked and chatted, she was beyond excited to discover I was her minister’s wife and she took my hand and told me “What we had here this morning was a God experience! And we got to share it together!” 

 I couldn’t have agreed more. That view from above somehow felt like I was a little closer to my Creator as I took in all the beauty of His works, the peacefulness calmed my heart, and the joy I shared with my new friend sealed the deal.  And I will admit, starting my day with that experience even made Sunday morning worship come more “alive” to me later that morning.  The view from above was the perfect reminder I have been needing to still my anxious heart.  I have felt a lot of stress, heartache, frustration, and anxiousness lately- all of which have been work related.  Navigating the new and different have been hard (I CAN do hard things), but while some families have been supportive and gracious, others have been very hard on our staff and have lashed out at us in anger and frustration.  On top of the abnormal- we have had some curriculum delivery delays and staffing changes that have made everything more complicated.  When those worries and stressors overtake me, this week I have been able to close my eyes, take a deep breath, and remember that view from above.  While I realize that being up high doesn’t actually mean I was any closer to the Father, that place of peace and beauty gave me incredible perspective that focused me on Him.  The view from above reminds me that He is in control, I can always go to him to find my peace and purpose, and I can feel completely secure in His loving arms.  I’m holding on tight to that view from above.

 

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26:3

Just a Little Encouragement

 Well, our sweet, adorable (b) has found his walking feet and is starting to take several steps.  I love watching him toddle around, I love how resilient he is with each fall and how persistent he is to get up again over and over.  But the part that is the absolute BEST (in my mama opinion) is how much he cheers and claps for himself over the accomplishment.  Even if it was just 2 or 3 steps, when he finishes, or falls down he wears the biggest smile and begins clapping and waving his arms victoriously.  Now, I realize this is because he sees and hears us cheering and clapping for him and his accomplishment, but as I watch I see that sometimes he even gets up and tries again JUST so we will cheer and clap for him.  Just a little encouragement is some pretty powerful motivation when you are one.

 

But I will be honest, just a little encouragement can be pretty powerful motivation when you are older than one, too.  A few weeks ago, I created and shared an Amazon wish list for my classroom, and as the list items were purchased and boxes started showing up, I was completely overcome with emotions.  There were wonderful treasurers for my classroom and my students, but even better still were the notes of love and encouragement that arrived in those boxes.  Feeling the support from SO many friends, family members, classroom parents, former teachers of mine, and former colleagues had tears of joy running down my face with each box opened.  That encouragement made the beginning of an uncertain school year more certain of a few things- I became certain that I COULD do hard things, and certain that I was covered in prayer.

 

I would be lying if I said the start of this school year has been smooth.  Truthfully it has been anything but smooth, and some of the hardest bumps I never even saw coming.  But with each bump, when I wasn’t even sure WHAT to feel- I was quickly met with encouragement- most that I never even saw coming.  Friends sending or showing up with care packages, an incredibly thoughtful anonymous gift, calls and texts just to check-in.  They have all kept me moving forward, looking for silver linings, and reminding me I will get this figured out, and I will find ways to thrive amid uncertainty. 

 

And so I will keep clapping and cheering for my little walker, doing happy dances and sprinkling invisible glitter and fairy dust towards my students (cause, you know high-fives and such are out this year), reminding my husband he is a rockstar for keeping things rolling in our home, and telling students’ parents that “together, we’ve got this!”  Because I have felt the blessings of a little encouragement… and I can’t help but pass it on.

 

“Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”  1 Thessalonians 5:11

On the Other Side of the Desk

 As I prepared my “Meet the Teacher” page for my students this week, I decided to throw back to my 3^rd and 4^th grade pictures so they could see what I looked like when I sat on their side of the desk.  It made me giggle as I thought about all the feelings and concerns I had when I was on their side of the desk. 

 

I remember worrying what people would think of my outfit and taking the time to very carefully pick out what I would wear for that first day of school.  I remember wondering if kids would still like me and want to be my friend after being apart all summer.  I worried what the lunch situation would be like and who would play with me at recess.  I remember feeling stress about wanting to get it all right and do my very best with my work.  That first morning there were always butterflies in my tummy as I hoped that I hadn’t forgotten something important or I wouldn’t do something that made me look stupid.  But I also remember the excitement.  I enjoyed school, I loved my teachers, I loved using new school supplies, getting to learn new things, and having adventures in my new classroom.  There were so many emotions with that first day.

 

I am typing this tonight after finally leaving my classroom after 9:00 the night before students arrive for the first time. I have spent HOURS planning, prepping, decorating, communicating.  Papers are laid out, digital set-ups are ready, name tags are placed, and desks have been individually prayed over.  I now sit on the other side of the desk, the bigger desk that will soon have stacks of papers on it and binders full of lesson plans.  As I giggled about my 3^rd and 4^th grade pictures, I realized my emotions on the other side of the desk are really not so different.  I spent some time this evening thinking about what outfit I will wear for that first day.  I worry a little thinking about if my students and their parents will like me.  I’m nervous about what the lunch situation will be like, and how will I eat on the days that I also have duty.  I am still feeling stress about wanting to get it all right and do my very best with my work.  There are butterflies in my tummy as I hope I haven’t forgotten something important on my list, or do something that makes it look like I’m unqualified.  But I am also incredibly full of excitement.  I can’t wait to see my students, I love the team of people I work with, I love organizing those new school supplies, teaching new things each day, and having amazing adventures in my classroom.  I still have so many emotions with that first day. 

 

I pray that even though I am now on the other side of the desk, I never forget just how much alike my students and I really are.  May I will always remember what it felt like to sit on the other side of the desk. 

 

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalms 90:12

I Can Do Hard Things

This is it- the week before school starts.  After nearly 5 months out of my classroom I am very excited to see my students, be back among my co-workers, and get back to face-to-face instruction.  But I am also facing so many stressful things as well… how do I prepare for in-person instruction as well as remote for one day of the week and part of each afternoon while simultaneously having full-time remote plans for any families who choose that option, and be ready to pivot on a dime if we return to full-time remote learning.  Will there be enough time to prepared them for routines and expectations for full-time remote? How do we juggle the safety precautions, meet academic needs, and give attention to social/emotional needs? How do I juggle this for my own family- the boys have been out of daycare for months, everyone has gotten used to homecooked meals and a constant stream of clean laundry.

 

As I laid down in bed a few nights ago I was crying to (A) about just how stressed I am about it.  After going through my list of worries, I finally said, “It is just all SO HARD.”  There are going to be hard choices, hard tasks, hard situations, hard emotions to navigate- and there are NO good answers to many of those struggles.  While I didn’t quit crying, I did begin praying about how to navigate it all… and in time, God’s gentle voice reminded me, “You can do hard things.”  It stopped me in my tracks.  Yes, all of this is hard, but with God’s help, I CAN do hard things.  As I look back, I realize I have done hard things before, many of them, and I will do hard things again.  So I decided it would be my mantra for the school year (and of course in elementary teacher fashion, I am currently working on a cutesy sign to hang that phrase in my classroom).  I can do hard things.

 

The next day I received an email from our youth minister about the high school class I will be teaching this fall on Sunday evenings.  The book he has selected… Do Hard Things.  I had to smile, yes, God, you knew I would need constant reminders. 

 

The more I have prayed about it and done some studying, I realize it is ok to acknowledge the hard.  Some things are just exactly that- hard.  We can’t always smile and say it is all going to be ok, and not everything can be fixed with a kiss and a band-aid.  But just because something is hard, I do not have to be stopped by it.  I’m sure this school year is going to bring hard choices, hard conversations, and hard work.  It is going to be hard to stay comfortable in a mask, hard to not hug my kiddos, hard to navigate the tricky schedule, hard to keep everyone happy, and hard to balance it with my own family, but I can do hard things. 

 

I decided to test my theory on Tuesday when I announced to the boys we were going to have an all day shopping trip- the kind where Mama needs to go 42 places to get 2-3 things each stop to have my classroom and our house ready for back to school.  The kind of shopping trip that (A) refuses to go on because it way exceeds his limit of stops.  And I was going to do that with a 1 and 4 year-old AND keep (a) and I masked.  I knew it would be hard, almost impossible, to navigate this day in a successful way that didn’t end with at least one of us in tears.  But as I hopped on the interstate headed toward the city with two sleeping boys in the back seat, I just started repeating, “I can do hard things.  I can do hard things.”  Instead of unrealistic hopes, I just faced it straight on… this was going to be a challenge, but I could do it.  And to my shock, we had an absolutely wonderful day, complete with a fun “lunch date.”  Was it perfect- nope.  But it was so incredibly enjoyable. 

 

Ignore my lack of mascara... that is a totally different long story

Instead of being frustrated by the hard, I embraced it, expected it, and took it on as a challenge.  Will I have that same outcome for every hard situation this year- no way.  But by the grace of God, I CAN DO hard things.