Practice

 Our local youth rodeo series began a couple weeks ago, and that means big fun has begun for my little cowboys.  It is the second year that (a) has participated, and by the end of the summer (b) will be joining him for one event this year.  I will be very clear up front and say that we are not doing this for our kids to win awards or titles.  Most important to us are the fact that it is something they love, they are learning important life lessons, and making the kind of friends and mentors we are please for them to have.  HOWEVER, we would like to not be totally embarrassed by their performance, and if they happen to win some prize money or awards along the way that would be great. 

 

As we headed toward the first rodeo, I had a serious talk with (a) about what events he wanted to participate in and we discussed that if he was going to do these, he would need to be practicing.  Entries were due a week before the rodeo and he adamantly chose to participate in mutton bustin’, dummy roping, and goat tail untieing.  Now mutton bustin’ is hard to practice when you don’t have any sheep readily available, but he has a roping dummy and several things that could function for goat tail practice.  For the past few months, he has been practicing the goat tail event (as has (b) which is hilarious because he incorporates sound effects), but he was NOT doing a great job practicing his roping.  Because of this I seriously questioned him when he was determined to enter the event.  I gave in to his request, but told him I had high expectations for him to practice.  That night practice was a total disaster.  At one point or another all three kids were hit in the head with the rope (which is pretty stiff and has a pretty good sting if it gets ya), his form was embarrassingly terrible from lack of practice, and his attitude stunk.  Before the evening was over, I was in tears and pretty frustrated that I had given in to his request to be entered.  The other practices of the week weren’t much better and I was beginning to think about how I could hide behind a tree and pretend NOT to be the mom of this contestant when it was his turn.  Thankfully a quick trip home to Indiana landed him a roping practice with his Aunt Kayda (who is good at it and knows FAAARRRR more than either one of his parents).  She has the patience of Job with this child, and through some bribery and sweet talking, was able to get him to listen to her lessons on form and technique.  To all of our shock and amazement, the day of the rodeo he had three legal catches out of his 6 attempts (too bad two of them were during practice and not competition).  A little feeling of accomplishment went a long way, and he is now eagerly having roping practice in our yard almost every evening.  He sent a video to his three-month-old cousin last night and told him “I’m having roping practice.  I have practice every night because practice is important!” 

What a change of perspective- he was frustrated originally and didn’t want to practice because he wasn’t any good.  But he has now learned that he isn’t going to be good without the practice and it is making a difference.  While I wasn’t happy with him about his perspective at first, I realize I am often the same way.  I forget that so many things in life take practice.  I want to feel successful without practice, when in reality if I am going to have any success I need to practice.  Practice using patience, practice loving others when it is hard, practice exercising self-control, practice biting my tongue when something doesn’t need to be said, practice appreciating others, practicing to pray and waiting on an answer.  The opportunities come every single day- even (or maybe most especially in) my own house.  Lord, help me be willing to practice becoming who you want me to be.

 

“Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me- put it into practice.  And the God of peace will be with you.” Philippians 4:9

Complete

It was a fun day for deliveries at our house today.  Two separate packages arrived that completed some sets I have been building for the last five years.  One was a set of canvas photographs.  When we were expecting (a) we took a picture of just our feet with a pair of baby cowboy boots between ours.  We repeated the same pose with our family when I was expecting (b) and one more time with (lk).  I had waited all these years to print them because I wanted to have a complete set and make sure I printed them as the same size and format.  The second package to arrive was a special figurine.  While I am typically NOT a collector of “things,” for several years I have been growing a collection of Willow Tree figures from many different occasions.  By far my most special of these pieces though are the ones (A) has added for me with each child.  Today my set arrived depicting all 5 of us together as a family. 

Original professional photos by Tammy Williams Photography, Emily Curtis, and La Di Da Photography LLC.  All three are fantastic and I would totally recommend them- the changes just happened because of our move and their availability because of that.

It is always fun to have new home décor, so of course I was excited to get these pieces, but more than that it was a special feeling in my heart of completeness.  I hadn’t printed the canvas photographs until I felt like we had taken all the pictures.  I love my little statues, but the one with all 5 of us felt like it belonged in the middle as a completion of that part of the collection. 

 

The last three weeks as a new family of 5 have been crazy, stressful, exhausting, and hard, BUT they have also been a lot of fun, have filled my heart with joy, and stretched my capacity to love.  For the first time, I look at our family and my heart feels complete.  It COULD be the fact that all our bedrooms are full, all the seats in our vehicles are occupied, and my washer and dryer never have a break, but I really don’t think that is the real reason.  I truly believe it is because these are the precious littles that God was calling us to raise.  We weren’t done after the first because he was created to be an amazing big brother to his siblings.  We weren’t done after the second because he needed the opportunity to show us what a heart he had for being a helper (not to mention his deep desire to be the comedian of our crew).  While our third hasn’t yet had a chance to show her personality, we know God has big plans for her life as well- and we know that we were called to raise these three blessings to love and serve the Lord.  My heart feels an overwhelming amount of peace and joy as it now feels whole and complete. 

 

For me, there is always a sense of bittersweet that comes when I know something is complete.  When I graduated high school, I was excited for the future, but there was a small sense of sadness for what was over.  When I graduated college, I was thrilled to be looking toward marriage and a teaching career, but there was some sadness at parting ways with incredible friends and leaving a campus I loved.  When the chapter of our lives in Indiana closed, we were excited about the future of a new ministry and new friends to be made, but there was also a lot of sadness about leaving many things and people we loved.  My heart has felt a little of the same way the last few weeks.  I am so thankful for this family God has given us and I feel so blessed for the opportunity to raise them, but there is a twinge of sadness to experience all the “firsts” for the last time, to pack up my maternity clothes to pass them on, and to know my days of enjoying pregnancy are over.  Complete comes with both a huge sense of accomplishment, peace, and joy, but also all the questions about the unknown future. 

 

While I don’t know what the future looks like, what joys and heartbreaks parenthood holds for us, I am thankful to know the One who does know.  And I am thankful that He holds that future in the palm of His hands.  While our family may be complete, He has not completed His work with me.  In three particular ways it has just begun…

 

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6

I Get it from My Mama

Something I have learned quickly about having a new baby is that everyone asks who you think they look like the most- or people just give you their opinion on who they think the baby looks like the most.  We pick out features and say “oh they get it from…” and often use those features to predict the future of what baby will look like as he or she grows. 

 

As an adult, we often still reflect the physical characteristics of our families- many of us are undeniable- but I find that more and more I look at my personality characteristics and think “I get it from…”

 

Being “that house” the one where there is usually food on, the door is always open for company- the back door of course, friends are always welcome, and we always have your back… I get it from my mama.

Being “that teacher” the one who works late, takes stuff home, loves her students enough to hold them to high standards, and gives them her very best… I get it from my mama.

Being the wife who supports his dreams, love unconditionally, but gives him a dose of reality when he needs it… I get it from my mama. 

Being the mom who prays continually, sings worship music together, helps practice memory verses, and loves to answer their questions about the Bible stories… I get it from my mama.

 

But not only do I get it from my mama, I have been blessed by generations of women who have made me who I am today.  My Granny taught my mama how to be the woman she is today.  She has shown me what infectious joy and laughter can do for a home.  She has shown me what strength really looks like as she tells about the years of raising little ones as the wife a career air force officer who moved frequently and sometimes had to do it on her own while he was deployed.  She is the origin of many of my go-to recipes, and the generous giver of cookies to my (b).  Some of who I am… I get it from my Granny.

Four generations, my Granny, my Mama, myself, and my (lk)

 My Grandma Anne is no longer with us, but she influenced the first 34 years of my life.  She was particular about many things- how the table was set, how a meal was planned for a special occasion, and how to be the grammar police were particulars that rubbed off on me.  She was also a dedicated teacher who believed in holding students to high standards and she showed me the depths that love will go to as she became my Papaw’s caregiver in his final years.  Some of who I am… I get it from my Grandma. 

I was fortunate to inherit my Grandma's college ring.  I don't wear it all the time, just special occasions, but Mother's Day and my own daughter's first time in church felt like a couple of special reasons to put it on this morning.

 And there were some other very special ones too… my Great-Grandma Anderson who taught in a one room school house and with whom I shared a very special bond until her passing when I was in jr high.  “My Alice” was our childcare provider growing up and is why I love to run barefoot, eat sugar cookies, and where I learned to love other people’s children as my own because her actions taught me that family didn’t have to be blood.  All my aunts had only sons- so as their oldest niece I learned to arrange flowers, how to do my make-up, and the value of having some favorite hymns memorized.  I was fortunate to have friends who “momed” before me and showed me all the “real” sides of motherhood as well as told me what to pack or not pack in a hospital bag.  So much of who I am as a woman and a mother… I get it from those mamas.

 

I look at my own kids and think about all they see in the women who they love.  Friends like Miss Angie, Miss Ann, and Miss Lissa who are teaching them that family doesn’t always mean blood.  Aunts who each have special rituals with them (even if the request is most often to bring their uncles along).  Showing up at Granny’s house usually means you will be showered with love and fun just for walking through the door.  Mama K has expectations, but will still fix you meatloaf anytime you ask for it.  Nana runs “the cookie house” and always has sweet treats ready.  But more than that, they are seeing examples of faith, perseverance, and love of family. And I often wonder what they see the most in me.  I often fear they will remember the times I lost it and yelled, the days I couldn’t keep it together and just sat to cry, the disheveled mess our home is often in, or the many ways I have failed them.  But I PRAY they will remember my faith and hope in the Lord, my desire to be better every day, my love for their Daddy, and my joy in being their mom.  I pray some day they will grow up to look at a blessing or two in their life and be able to say… “I get it from my Mama.”

 

Happy Mother’s Day!