Over the weekend I had two dear friends reach out and check on me because they hadn’t seen my writing for a few weeks. I can’t tell you how much that meant to me, because it meant the words of this ministry mean something. And I am still here!! Just currently living in a challenging season where finding the balance between all things of parenting, marriage, work, ministry, rest, keeping my people fed and clothed has all been VERY hard.
Fall is a hectic time at school where we juggle parent teacher conferences, field trips, special education conferences, and various other things that arise all on top of the day-to-day learning and working to meet the needs of all the different students in the two grade levels within my classroom (and there is no fall break here, Indiana friends). At home we are busy conquering kindergarten homework (which thankfully (a) loves), trying to keep (b) from making 497 messes per evening, starting (lk) on solid foods, and managing the levels of how much they truly love each other from turning into the attacking sort of love where everyone is crying because the hugs and giggles turned into chasing, injuries, and tears of exhaustion. It is a beautiful, messy life- and I am completely exhausted and have not had an adult conversation with my husband in 2 weeks.
Trying to do it all, be it all, make sure it is all covered
has left me feeling inadequate in every area of my life. I don’t feel like I am enough for my
students, my own family, my ministry, or my own physical and mental
health. But after Bible study last
night, a dear friend walked up to me, looked into my tired eyes and told me, “I
feel like God wants me to remind you that you ARE enough, and HE will fill in
the gaps where you can’t.” I can’t tell
you what those words meant to me.
Growing up, I spent a lot of hours sorting and working cattle
with my dad. I know how important it is
to have someone stand in the gaps for you.
With someone solid standing in the gaps, moving cattle where they need
to go can be a smooth and easy process.
Without that, it can be a frustrating disaster where you get nothing
accomplished no matter how long you work.
While I feel like I have been moving cattle without any help lately, the
reality is I just need to open my eyes and see that He is filling in the gaps
for me. That with his help I can accomplish
the things that I NEED to get done, and the other things he will provide for
through someone else, or give me peace that they really didn’t HAVE to happen. Standing in the gaps… it is a simple job but
is a huge necessity. What a feeling of
reassurance and comfort, He is standing in the gaps for me- I don’t have to
feel alone in all I juggle and all I do- He is standing right beside me making
me enough.
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you,
for my power is made perfect in weakness, so that Christ’s power may rest on
me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I
delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in
difficulties. For when I am weak, then I
am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
