Lessons Caught

There are a lot of things that we try very specifically to teach our children.  In our home we have worked really hard on manners over the last three years, prompting “please” and “thank you” and “excuse me” at appropriate times.  We have specifically worked on how to eat with utensils, how to put his boots on the right feet, how to put dirty clothes in the hamper, and how to buckle his belt.  I even can finally say we have successfully survived potty training!!  There are so many things we want him to know and be able to do that we have repeated the skills over and over, practiced with him, and prompted on cue. 

After spending the last few weekends at “da farm” for various reasons, (a) thinks he is a master tractor operator.  By asking questions and talking with his Poppa Loran over and over he will proudly tell you that to make the tractor go faster you “push rabbit” and to slow down you “push turtle.”  He will also tell you that you use the tractor to “feed hay to da cows and when we give da cows da hay, we haf to cut off da wrapper so da cows don’t choke!!”  Those are all things he has specifically been taught or has learned by asking lots of questions. 

What amazes me most in parenting though, are not the things (a) has learned by being taught, but the many things he has learned by lessons CAUGHT.  There are so many things he has simply observed and then tried to emulate.  On Friday, he and I were on the road together and the weather was pretty nasty.  It was cold and spitting snow/ice balls at us for mile after mile.  I stopped for gas, thankful for a station with a large overhead shelter, and (a) announced from the back seat “Momma! It is too cold for you to pump da gas!! I will do it for you!  I have my cowboy vest on to stay warm!  You can’t pump da gas because it is too cold for you! I will get it!”  I about melted.  I promise no one has ever even suggested that he should pump gas for me when it is cold and nasty.  BUT, he has watched his daddy do it any time we are in the car together.  And he has heard his daddy mention doing things for me when it is cold or nasty.  He has never been TAUGHT to do kind things to take care of his momma, but he has CAUGHT the lesson that it is a kind thing to do.  (No, while I thanked him profusely for the super sweet gesture, I did not let our 3 year old pump the gas that afternoon. 😉)

The cowboy teaching Daddy the RIGHT way to play with PlayDoh 😂 

That exchange made me think so much about what else he has CAUGHT… he asks daily “How was your day at school/work/da farm?” (changing it up depending on who he is talking to).  We have never specifically taught him to ask others about their day, but it is one of the first things we say to him when we pick him up or when someone arrives home.  He has caught some hilarious phrases and mannerisms from watching rodeo or favorite movies.  And unfortunately, he has caught some things that make me feel incredibly guilty because I don’t like how they sound, but they have come out of my mouth (“dat stupid dog”). 

I realize that as parents, mentors, role models, examples, Christ followers… that often what is CAUGHT is just as powerful- probably more powerful- than what is specifically taught.  People might listen to what we say, but they are also watching what we DO.  And what we do matters.  How we treat people matters, the example we set matters.  It makes me ask myself… is my example worth catching?  Do I treat people the way Jesus would?  Do I speak the truth in love?  Do I lead by example?  Do I have the right attitude?  Does my life share joy? 

As a mom, a teacher, a leader… I know there are eyes watching me.  I pray that everyday I would mindful of my words and actions, and I’m so thankful for God’s grace when I mess up, because good or bad, those lesson are being caught.

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.” 1 Timothy 4:12