Words Follow Us

We are only 4 days in, but it is a trip I doubt we will soon forget.  On Friday, after school, my mom, my sister, (a), and I took off to head to Louisiana to visit my grandparents for Spring Break.  My other sister met us there along with my Aunt & Uncle.  I will admit, I was prepared that 13 hours each way in the car with a toddler was risky business, but it was also guaranteed to be memorable.  So, I did what any mom would do…. I started a list of hilarious things that were said! 

Photo credit: Aunt Kara

As I mentioned, we are only 4 days into the trip, but here are the “recorded” lines thus far…

Conversations between Aunt Kayda & (a):

K- “You wanna go to the swamp?”

(a)- “I wanna go to Wal-Mart!”

K- “What does the gecko say?”

(a)- “Say eat my cookies!!”

K- “When we walk in Granny and Grandpa’s house what are you going to say?”

(a)- “Happy Birthday!”

K- “What do monkeys eat?”

(a)- “Poop!”

Statements made by (a):

“I walk in the door- see cows!!”

“Let’s go! Hurry!!”

“Momma! It’s a GIRL!” (While watching a cute little girl a bit younger than him eating dinner)

“Matchy, matchy!” (After giving Kayda a hat and glasses like he was wearing)

Statements made by Aunt Kayda (who is young and does not have children):

“Why am I wet?!”

“Why am I sticky!!???”

“There is a HORSE tangled in my hair!!”

New phrases learned in the car:

“Hello, mate!”

“Hosanna, mate!” (both “mate” phrases spoken with an Australian accent)

"Peace out, Dude!"

I’m sure there will be plenty of other phrases recorded before the week is over, but I also know this… I won’t have to write some of them down for them to be remembered.  I know that even when he is 18, some of (a)’s funny remarks from this week will be repeated and retold over and over to him.  I don’t know if that is how it works in all families, but in mine, iconic phrases that come from your mouth follow you around for the rest of your life. 

In reality however, I believe that is true of many of the words we speak.  Whether we realize it or not, words that come out of our mouths can follow us, or someone else, around for the rest of our lives.  Words matter.  I’m blessed, there were a lot of words spoken to me over the years that stuck with me in a good way.

“I love you”

“You’ve got this kiddo!”

“There’s my blue-eyed girl!”

“Never say never”

“Anything worth having takes hard work”

But there have been other words over the years that have also stuck with me.  Words that were meant to patronize me after a crushing heartbreak or defeat.  Words that were meant to sting and “put me in my place.”  Words about my weight.  Words about how I wasn’t doing a good enough job in this or that based on one person’s totally subjective opinion.  Those words have followed me too.  And some of them took me YEARS to overcome or quit believing.  Words matter.

On the flip side, I have had women stop me and share something I said in a conference or speaking engagement that has stuck with them for years.  And unfortunately, I’m sure there have been hurtful or harsh things that I have said to others over the years that have stuck with them as well.  If that has been the case, I am truly sorry.  Words matter. 

So often they are quick to come out of our mouths, and many times we don’t even remember saying them.  But the person who received them remembers… both the good and the bad.  Words matter. 

My prayer is that I am intentional with the words I use.  That they would be used to speak love, hope, truth, faith, encouragement, edification, and show God’s grace and faithfulness.  And on the days when I fail, I pray that I am mindful of the failure and have the opportunity for another chance to speak words that can make it right.  What we say follows us around.  Words matter.

And now, I’m going to go back to the giggling in the living room & sharing words with my family that matter.  This week, my heart (and my Granny’s house) are both very full.  May it be week full of words that matter in your life too.

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21

“Let the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O Lord, my Rock, and my Redeemer” Psalms 19:14

Taking Root

The reminder came in our school mailboxes last week… It’s time for 3^rd grade teachers to order trees to be given out for Earth Day.  As my grade level partner (I LOVE her to pieces and appreciate her more than she will ever know) and I were counting up how many saplings we needed to order I made the comment, “You know, I think Mom and Dad still have some of our 3^rd grade trees growing in the yard!”  I made a mental note to take a picture of one next time I was at the farm to help give my students some perspective.  When they first get that little 10-inch tall sapling it sure doesn’t look like much.  It’s honestly pretty scrawny and would be easy to disregard as something that would never turn into much of anything.  I remember feeling that way about my little tree when I brought it home from school in 3^rd grade.  Fortunately, my parents saw the potential in it and we made a family affair of planting that little evergreen out between the garden and cattle lot.  We gave it some TLC and it took root. 

When I was at the farm on Sunday, I pulled out my phone to snap a quick picture of that tree and couldn’t help but get some perspective of my own.  I remembered that the tree was still standing in the yard, but I had lost track of what can happen when a tree takes root for 26 years.  What was once just a scraggly little stick, is now a towering tree.  I didn’t even realize how tall it actually was until (a) and my mom walked beside it leading a horse and I saw how the large tree dwarfed them.  It really is amazing what can happen when something takes root. 

We were at the farm because all I had heard from (a) the entire week was “I go feed cows!”  He tends to have cows on the brain a lot (which melts this Momma’s heart), and when that idea of feeding cows takes root, there is no getting it off his mind until he gets a chance to go to the barn. 

"I feed cows, Momma!"

I realize that I find myself in the same place sometimes (and I’m not JUST talking about the need to go feed cows)- when something takes root it is impossible to get it off my mind.  When something takes root, I lose track of just how big it can grow and how it can dwarf other things in our lives.  I have recently been taking a careful inventory of what has taken root in my heart. 

It’s a little overwhelming when grief and hurt and sadness and anger take root.  While it is perfectly normal to have those emotions, it is a different thing when they take root and are allowed to grow.  Without realizing it, they can quickly grow into bitterness, and unforgiveness, and despair.  Just like a tree, I lose track of time and don’t see how big those problems are becoming until something passes by to put them in perspective.  While it is fine for the tree to continue growing, I have been intentionally working to uproot these feelings from my life- those feelings can NOT continue growing.  Their size can be a dangerous problem if not kept in check. 

Hope, however,… now there is something worth taking root.  Even on the hardest days, a glimmer of hope can change everything and give new perspective.  When hope takes root, we see that struggles may come, but we also see the light on the other side.  Hope reminds that God is faithful and He is carrying us every step of the way.  I love what Paul says in his letter to the church at Rome “…we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character hope.  And hope does not disappoint us because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” (Romans 5:3-5)

I love two particular things about this- the fact that hope can come out of suffering and the promise that hope will not disappoint us.  Letting hope take root in my heart will choke out the hurt that comes with suffering.  Hope brings with it the possibility of new beginnings, and more importantly shines perspective on God’s great love for me.  I want hope to take root.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

We Pray

On Sunday morning we were out of town for Anthony to preach and the church had graciously allowed us to spend the night in a (fabulous!) local hotel.  They had an awesome complimentary hot breakfast buffet, but it was no surprise that (A) and (a) were several minutes ahead of me in getting ready for church, so they headed on down to enjoy the breakfast before me.  When I was ready I went down to join them.  They were almost finished and (A) had started cleaning up.  We were not in a rush, but I knew I was running behind them and I didn’t have time to piddle, so when (a) took my hand and said “we pay, Momma” I told him we did not have time to play because we were trying to get ready for church.  He kept insisting however, “we PAY, Momma” and kept holding my hand.  I told him again we did not have time to play, but we would later.  Then he said “no, we PAAYY” and then I realized what he wanted to do… “we PRAY.” 

He knows when we sit down to eat a meal, the first thing we do is hold hands and pray.  I had just joined them with my food and he wanted to pray together before I ate.  “Oh! You want us to PRAY!” I finally realized and he grinned and nodded, “we pay!” So I held his little hand as we prayed over my breakfast and his daddy’s sermon and the people of the church where we were visiting. We pray.  There is so much power in that phrase.

He knows how to melt my heart and I had a tiny sigh of… for all the things we have screwed up in parenting, at least we are doing one thing right.  What a big reminder from someone so small- slow down, take a deep breath,… we pray.

When we arrived at church, we had the opportunity to visit with several people before the service started.  One of the church leaders came up to welcome us and say good morning, and he said he would like to pray with us before the service began.  It was the first time I had ever met him, and there is no way he could have known the specific word our family has been praying for the past several months, but as he prayed with us that morning he also specifically asked God for the EXACT request we have been making daily.  I will be honest, I began to cry.  It never ceases to amaze me how God reveals himself when… we pray.

There is a leadership figure in my life who is also a friend, and periodically he asks how he can pray for me specifically.  If you have never asked someone that question- start asking it!  It is the greatest gift you could give them.  The first time I was asked this question it stopped me in my tracks.  I had not just heard the generic “I’ll pray for you.”  The question “How can I specifically pray for you this week?” really meant:

1. I truly care.

2. I really am going to pray about this and not just tell you I will.

3. I trust God enough to ask Him for an individual need or situation.

It is a blessing how we can connect to one another and show true friendship when… we pray.

I will admit, sometimes I have good intentions of praying for a situation, but I don’t get it done.  Sometimes I think my request is too trivial to matter to the God of the Universe, but his word tells me that isn’t true. 

Jeremiah 29:12 says “Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”

I want my first reaction to life’s struggles and joys to be like that little boy who grabbed my hand… “we pray.”

I want to truly carry the people in my life to the feet of Jesus when we pray.

The opportunity to see God do something amazing is powerful when we pray.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 “pray continually”

James 5:16 “Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.”

35 for 35

Please give me some grace for an unusually sappy post this week.  One thing I would like to improve upon, is celebrating the people in my life.  I know that sometimes I go day to day and take for granted how blessed I am to share my “world” with people who mean the world to me. 

So, even though I’m a day early, today I’m celebrating (A)’s 35^th birthday with 35 things I appreciate about him/favorite memories of our life together.  If you know him, maybe you will learn something you didn’t know, if you don’t know him, you will find out a little about the “calm to my chaos.”  Either way, I hope it gives you a chance to reflect on the people in your life, and the way you appreciate them, and what is special about the way you do life together.

35. He is a rock star at doing the dishes!

34.  When it is ISTEP testing week and I am an exhausted stressed out teacher, he comes home with Coke and gummy bears.  He knows I gave up soda years ago, but he also knows every now and then I NEED one, and he seems to know just when those days are.

33.  After 16 years together, he is learning to appreciate “good” music. 😉

32.  One of our earliest dates was to the tiny town of Lexington, IN… (A) worked for a shoe store in his hometown and the store had been contacted by a church in Lexington to purchase shoes for children in the town who needed them for the upcoming school year.  They had a little dinner/open house evening at the church shelter house and advertised that any child who would like a new pair of shoes should come.  We loaded up a vehicle with tons of pairs of shoes and another employee and drove over.  That evening I watched him sit on the ground on his knees and help child after child find a pair of shoes that they liked AND that fit appropriately with some room to grow.  He wasn’t phased by their dirty little feet or the hard concrete he was sitting on (that was prior to 2 knee injuries and 3 knee surgeries).  I realized then that he knew what it meant to be the hands of feet of Jesus.  What I had no idea about, was that a few years later we would return to the tiny town of Lexington, IN for his first full time ministry or that Lexington would be where he would propose to me and where we would live for the first 7 months of our marriage.

31.  He willingly and of his own accord watches Hallmark movies (sometimes for hours) when he is in control of the remote.

30.  He loves kids, and they love him.

29.  I never have to worry about “dressing” him.  He likes to shop for his own clothes and has no trouble putting sharp outfits together. (Maybe that seems like a silly thing- but until I married him I didn’t know men were capable of that!)

28.  If he wants us to be somewhere on time, he tells me a time that is 15 minutes earlier. (Did I mention that he’s smart?)

27.  Nothing is beneath him.  In college he shoveled horse manure and drove a $400 Ford escort (the station wagon style) because it paid the bills and kept his college education debt free.

26.  He prefers to read non-fiction, and often shares with me interesting things he is reading.  I appreciate this, because I do NOT like to read non-fiction, but since he shares his interesting facts with me I feel like he has both of us covered.

25.  When we are together and I am too tired to drive, he will always do it, whether he wants to or not.

24.  He is quick to rescue me when I have a flat tire or randomly get a blanket wrapped around my front axle.

23.  I do NOT have to beg to get him to go see a Broadway musical with me (Fiddler on the Roof is his favorite!) I DO sometimes have to beg him to stop singing his version of the songs from the musicals we have seen.

22.  He knows lots of ways to keep me laughing.

21.  When I was expecting (a), he never missed a single doctor’s appointment.

20.  Time and time again I have watched him give people a second chance, or third or fourth if they needed it.

19.  I love seeing him come alive when he gets behind the pulpit.  He has such a heart for teaching people through God’s word.

18.  He is willing to do whatever it takes to take care of his family.  I have watched him, at his most broken, pull himself together and step out of his comfort zone to provide for us.  I will never forget that morning as long as we live.  My heart had never been so hurt for him, and I had never been so proud of him all wrapped in the same moment.

17.  I could tell thousands of stories about what an epic dad he is.

16.  When we first started dating, his promise to me was that there would never be a dull moment- and he has held true to that.  He can create “adventure” even in the day to day.

15.  He gives good advice.  When I follow it things usually work out well, and when I don’t I usually wish that I would have listened.

14.  He is super competitive.  This is usually fun, but sometimes stressful.  When we were first dating I quickly learned that I had to lose in things like bowling and putt-putt if I wanted the date to continue to go well.  If I didn’t, he was so grumpy from losing that he would hardly talk the entire way home. 

13.  Generosity is a big part of his heart.  If there is a way he can help with time, or money, or energy, or effort he is going to do it.

12.  His gift of leadership has been a blessing to many organizations.

11.  He loves traveling as much as I do, and is patient with me when I want to spend 8 hrs a day lying on the beach even though he would be done after 3 hrs if given his choice.

10.  He supports my dreams and God’s calling on my life as if they were his own, and he is more than willing to help out with (a) or the house or whatever needs to be done so I can pursue those things.

9.  While a “romantic” he is NOT, he does have a way of sharing words of encouragement and affirmation at just the times I need them most.

8.  He does laundry!!

7.  Mentorship is a role he takes seriously and I love watching him mentor other young men as a coach, leader, husband, father, and friend.

6.  Our years of doing church camp together whether it was as campers, paid staff, or volunteer leadership have always served as a reminder to me how much I love to be on his “team.”  Though he is a leader, he is a team player and I love serving beside him in those ways.

5.  When something is important to me, he is willing to compromise… even if it means coordinating outfits for pictures.

4.  He is (a)’s hero and favorite person.

3.  When I am a mess, he knows how to put me back together emotionally, or he shows up with the 75 important things I forgot.

2.  He never passes up an opportunity to dress in a ridiculous costume of some sort.

1.  More than once (A) has told me that the day (a) was born was his most wonderful and most scary ever.  I don’t remember many of the scary parts as they involved some complications I had postpartum,  and I was not conscious enough to really know what was happening.  However, I do remember waking up in the night and seeing him standing over me and beside the hospital cradle bed containing our tiny new baby.  And was he was praying over us and crying.  In that moment I knew more than ever before how blessed I was, and how much he loved us. 

Happy Birthday, (A)! We love and appreciate you for who you are day in and day out!  Thank you, God, for letting me do life with him!

“For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.” 1 Timothy 4:8