Sometimes Joy is Messy

I will admit, I don’t have the cleanest house in the world, but I also attempt to not constantly look like a tornado has ravaged us.  However, Christmas morning really is my favorite mess of the year.  There is so much excitement and anticipation as the paper is ripped off, new toys are taken out of boxes, and stocking stuffers are scattered everywhere.  It always seems like the entire room is covered in a sparkly array of chaos- and I love it.  Yesterday morning was no exception at our house.  Once everything had been opened and the fun of playing began, I stepped back to snap a picture of the mess.  Usually I will do anything to hide the mess of my house in pictures, but on Christmas morning I intentionally took pictures of the mess.

 I think the reason I love that mess is because it is so full of joy.  It is not the mess of carelessness or laziness; it is the mess created by the thought that something else is more important than the appearance.  The reality is, sometimes joy is messy.  It is the mess of Christmas morning.  The spit up, dirty diapers, and drool of a sweet baby.  It is the aftermath of cookies being decorated on your counter by 3 year old fingers.  Joy is in the mess of wet clothes and boots tracking in after making snow angels in the yard and on the sticky fingers of summer time popsicles and sidewalk chalk stains.  Joy is messy in the kitchen after the entire family has gathered for a meal or at the end of the night when your Christmas party guests leave.  These are not the messes left by carelessness or laziness, they are the messes that happen because something was more important than appearance.  It was more important to make memories with the little ones, laugh with friends, swap stories over the dinner table, or savor each precious moment. 

As I sat through Christmas Eve service at church, I couldn’t help but cherish the thought of how much God loves us that he would arrive in such a humble way.  That night was assuredly messy… birth in a barn, shepherds as the first visitors, and a manger for a bed- but most certainly full of joy as a multitude of angels made the announcement, and a new mom held a sweet snuggly baby in her arms. 

2019 is coming to a close, and as it does, I have been reflecting on our #theyearofJOY.  What a year it has been!  I’m so very thankful that God whispered to me, “JOY” as my word for the year.  It has made me think a new thought in hard circumstances, celebrate little things that I often would have overlooked, and given me a chance to pass that joy on to others as well. 

Joy is not always easy, it is not always clear.  Sometimes joy is messy like Christmas morning…. and sometimes messy is beautifully perfect.

“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.” John 15:11

Peace and Joy

I guess it happens because I have always been musically inclined, but music lyrics often have a way of sticking with me.  As a little girl (I mean we are literally talking first grade), I was in a Christmas program at church where one of the songs was called “Peace and Joy.”  It was my least favorite song of the entire program.  All these years later I’m not for sure why, but my guess would be because it had a slower tempo and was a little tricky so we practiced it more than many of the others.  For whatever reason, the irony of it being my least favorite is this… I still know every word of that the song’s chorus:

Peace and joy,

Peace and joy

Hang up the holly and celebrate peace and joy.

A baby boy, was born to destroy

the sin of the world

and to celebrate peace and joy.

It does seem that peace and joy are things that are often lacking in this season.  We are so busy to attend all the functions, bake all the goodies, send all the cards, buy all the gifts, plan all the meals, practice all the songs, hang all the decorations, that we often are filled with stress instead of peace, and exhaustion instead of joy.  I LOVE all those things, but it has been a problem for me some years.

 Other years, it seems like December has been a time of greater ministry stress in our lives.  More than one Christmas I remember struggling to celebrate because of the toll the vocation of ministry was taking on our lives at the time.  Also, as a teacher I put a LOT of time and energy into Christmas festivities for my classroom, sometimes so much that I haven’t had much time or energy left to put into my OWN child (now children). 

This year, I promised myself it was going to be different.  If you have followed me at all this year, you probably have heard me discuss “joy” more than you ever wanted to hear about it, but I have really meant it.  I wanted to find the joy of the season.  I have been very intentional in spending time with my boys this year and giving them as much of my “Christmas energy” as I give my “big kids.”  We have taken trips specifically to see lights, (a) helped me decorate the tree, we have coordinated outfits (my sister calls that torture, but actually (a) LOVES that), we have made and decorated cookies, we have sung songs, read books, been to visit Santa, played in the snow, and most importantly talked a lot about the birthday of Jesus.  And so far, it has been one of my favorite Christmas seasons in years.

This week at our small group, one of our discuss questions asked us to share what words might be marking our feelings as we celebrate the birth of our Savior this year.  And I had to admit, for the first time in YEARS, that PEACE and JOY were my two greatest feelings this year.  No, this season has not been any less hectic than any other, but my vision has been different.  It’s true, we are not feeling ministry turmoil this year (thank you, Jesus!), but beyond that I have been intentional at how I let the season make me feel.  I promised myself I was not going to stress about all that stuff.  I was just going to marvel at what this season really celebrates, take all the festivities it as they came, and celebrate.  And in doing so I found what I have been needing for so many years at Christmas… PEACE and JOY.

May God richly bless you with His PEACE that passes understanding, and His unspeakable JOY this Christmas.  Merry Christmas, from my family to yours!!

“For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.  And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of PEACE.” Isaiah 9:6

“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid.  I bring you good news that will cause great JOY for all the people.  Today in the town of David, a Savior has been born to you; he is Messiah, the Lord.” Luke 2:10-11

What Child is This?

It is happening… my tiny baby is growing.  Last week I put away his Rock & Play, and last night we got out the Jumparoo that he was more than ready for.  I’m not sure how it all happens so quickly, this time last year we were still anxiously waiting for Christmas to even share the news that he was on the way, and now he is jumping up and down and giggling about everything. 

And while I love every stage, it does make me sentimental.  As I hold him in my arms I often wonder… who will he be?  Will he have the independent boldness of his big brother, or a more laid-back charm? (Currently my bet is on the latter!) What kind of hobbies will he enjoy? What foods will he love?  What will he grow up to be?  Whose life will he change?  As we have been navigating the joys and frustrations of big brother’s three-and-a-half (the half is VERY important to him), I often wonder the same thing.  Will he use all that big personality to lead others in a positive way?  Will he be a lawyer, engineer, farmer, preacher, or use an aspect of his personality we haven’t even seen yet?  Will he still be living with us a 40 like he claims he wants to do? (Currently “growing up” is an INTENSE fear, because he doesn’t EVER want to move out.  Reason 1: He doesn’t know how to make his favorite food, meat loaf.  Reason 2: He will miss us.  I can’t make this stuff up!)

On Sunday, (A) showed a video clip to open his sermon where a character playing Mary in a live nativity held the sweet baby who portrayed Jesus.  As she talked, I couldn’t help but look at the sleeping baby in my own arms.  They were close to the same size.  And as she went on talking, tears came that I wasn’t even expecting.  Christmas songs I love, like “What Child is This?” and “Mary Did You Know?” have taken on a whole new meaning since I have become a mother myself.  As I listen to them or sing them it makes me reflect.  Yes, Mary knew that this tiny precious baby she was holding was the Messiah, but it is doubtful she had any idea what that would really look like.  She had to wonder how God’s plan was going to unfold in his life, and I’m sure she cherished having a front row seat to it.  But I bet like me, she held that tiny Savior and wondered, What kind of personality will he have?  What foods will he like?  How is God going to fulfill His purposes through him?  What child is this… really? 

As I hold that question in perspective, it makes the birth of Christ, this gift from God, so much more powerful to me.  The God of the universe became a human.  He arrived to earthly parents who would hold and him and wonder about his future just as I do my own babies- what a humbling thought.  And because of the hope that baby brought, I have so many hopes for my own.  I hope they will love Him above all else.  I hope they will seek ways to serve others in humility.  I hope they will be obedient to God with their lives. 

That sleeping baby, was Christ the King, and as I hold my own sleeping boys in my arms, I can’t help but wonder… because of HIM and in HIM, what child is THIS who, in my lap, is sleeping?

“But Mary treasured up all these things, and pondered them in her heart.” Luke 2:19

The Outtakes

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is creating/sending the family Christmas card picture.  From my very first Christmas at 6 months old, my mom began taking a family Christmas card picture, and it is a tradition I have continued with my own family.  I love watching us grow and sharing those memories with friends and family.  I remember as a child my mom would dress us up, often in matching or coordinating outfits, plan her background, and pose us to try and catch the perfect smiles for her picture.  She would shoot through an entire roll of film, then we would drop it off for developing.  Four to five days later she would anxiously pick up the pictures and flip through all 24 (or often the 27 exposure BONUS roll) shots in hopes that she caught the perfectly cute picture.  Usually, along with a perfect pose or two, she had 22 outtakes that either made you completely crack up or shake your head and groan. 

For the past four Christmas seasons, I have found myself in the same shoes my mama used to wear… outfits and back drop planned, then cross my fingers and hope that my kiddo(s) cooperate for the perfect Christmas card picture.  I’m so thankful for the digital age, where my pictures are now available for immediate review, however I still tend to end up with 25 outtakes to 1 perfect picture. 

This year was no exception, and was of course, a little trickier considering I was trying to coerce smiles out of two children at the same time.  At one point while we sat in front of the Christmas tree with both boys in matching jammies, (a) politely and matter of factly announced, “I’m done with this.”  (A) and I looked at each other and completely cracked up before we turned to him and admitted defeat for that photo session. 

A few days (and 3 photo sessions later) I sat down to choose the pictures that would go on this year’s Christmas card.  As I looked through the large amount of outtakes, I couldn’t help but giggle and realize, that is where life really happens… in the outtakes.  Most days my boys are not wearing coordinating clothes, honestly, most days they aren’t even clean by the end of the day.  It is rare for everyone to be smiling at the same time, and it is extremely rare for them to be sitting still.  Most of the time, our life doesn’t look like a perfect Christmas card picture, but that is ok.  We may not have our act together, but together we have a home that is filled with laughter and stories, love and support.  We answer 5,935,672 questions per day and clean up close to that many messes.  We discuss the importance of healthy food and making the kind of choices that would make Jesus happy.  In the outtakes we find teachable moments about safety and obedience, we make memories that will last for years, and we learn to grow in patience.  In the outtakes you see our real life- the messy, beautiful chaos that makes a family. 

Maybe someday I will get really brave and create a Christmas card completely from the outtakes… but for this year I will still send out the adorable picture where both kids are smiling and we look like we have it together… and for now, I will share with you some of the outtakes.

This one had great potential... until you realize we are missing a kiddo- he jumped out of the picture just before it was "clicked" so he could peek in the window of another house in this Christmas village.

“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4