Value

The last two weeks have left me reflecting as (A) and I were heartbroken to hear of the loss of a ministry friend, followed by the homegoing of my dear aunt, and then watching the world grieve the loss of a basketball superstar.  Each situation has left me feeling a little different- I hadn’t spoken to our ministry friend for a couple of years since we left the area, but I had always enjoyed working with her on collaborative projects.  I was shocked and hurt at the news, and couldn’t get my mind off the huge number of students who she impacted whom I knew had to be desperately hurting.  It was sudden, unexpected, and tragic- but I have no doubt that she celebrating with Jesus, because He was her greatest treasure.  When my phone rang a few days later with the news of my aunt there was no surprise, she had been ill for about a week and a half- and at 96 it doesn’t take long.  My heart hurt, but I had so much peace.  She’d had a long and beautiful life.  I had just been to see her 2 weeks before and we had shared a wonderful visit.  I left that day after both of us said, “I love you” to each other as we always did when our visits ended.  And while I am not an NBA fan, it was still a headline that made my jaw drop on Sunday afternoon when I walked in the room to my husband (an NBA fan) glued to the CNN report.  I have no attachment to the basketball legend who was killed that morning in a helicopter crash, but it is impossible not to feel sadness for a family who is now facing life without their father/husband, and young daughter.

As thoughts of each situation seem to be stuck on “replay” in my head, all I could think about was how I reacted to each one because of what I value.  After the boys were in bed the other night, (A) and I were discussing the situations.  For us, it has been SO important to value relationships.  It was a value that was modeled to me by my parents.  The time we spent with people was important and precious, and they wanted us to understand that.   It made a huge impression on me. They were never too busy to have a visit with a friend or family member.  In my growing-up years, I can’t begin to count the times we drove hours to attend weddings, graduation parties, funeral visitations, or other social gatherings because it was important to show people that we cared.  And that is a value that is important, to us, that we share with our own boys- so whenever possible, without hesitation, we drive long distances to attend birthday parties, weddings, graduation receptions, funerals, and other social gatherings because we want them growing up to know that relationships are important.

Through the shocking loss of our friend, I still felt joy for her, because I know what she valued and I’m sure her reward was pretty amazing.  I had no regrets with my sweet Aung Margie because I had made it a priority to see her (and take the boys along) as often as possible.  And as the news programs flashed with accolades and moments of fame, my “heart for family” ached for a wife and three little girls and left me wondering above all… did he know Jesus?

What we value creates a lens through which we see the world.  What takes our priorities, our time, our money?  What we value can ease the pain of heartache, or make it worse.  It can add stress or help it melt away.   As our boys grow, I hope they will see the value in people, that they will take the time, make the time, go out of their way- to show people that relationships are important.  I hope they will value their faith in Jesus above all things or accolades of this world.  I want them to share words of affirmation and hope into the lives of others, and open their wallets for worthy causes.  What we value matters, and I’m so thankful that was modeled for me.

“But store up for yourselves treasures in Heaven, where moths and vermin cannot destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6: 20-21