Watching

 There is a sign that hangs on the side of the arena where (a) participates in jr rodeo reminding everyone that sportsmanship matters, because younger contestants are watching.  I snapped a picture of it when we were there last weekend.  I really like the reminder, because I am the mom of one of those little guys who is watching.  I’m thankful that he has made friends with some other REALLY great kids around that arena.  Some of them are his age, but a few of them are older than him, and it makes him feel pretty special to get to hang out with his big kid friends.  They have been helping him practice his roping in the weeks between rodeos and he is excited to watch them compete in their own events and he loves to cheer for them from the stands.  He even told me the other day about all the events he wants to do as he gets older because they are the ones that one friend in particular does.  He is watching, and wants to be like that too.

But the sign doesn’t only hang for older contestants, it is a reminder to parents too.  Our sportsmanship, encouragement of others, the way we talk to and about the kids- it matters also, because they are watching.  I’m so thankful that we have had a great experience with other parents encouraging and cheering for (a) and the friends he has gotten to know- and we try to do the same for his friends.  At the end of the day, these competitions are really about learning, growing, gaining confidence, working hard, and building relationships. 

 

It’s not only true around the rodeo arena however, I have been reminded in the last couple weeks that they are watching my every move. (b) is still learning to talk, but his actions show how much he is constantly watching- from the way he throws the burp cloth over his shoulder when he wants to hold his sister, to the way he attempts to cinch a saddle on a hay bale- he is watching and mimicking my every move.   I’ve had a few particularly rough days lately- nothing Earth shattering, but still very frustrating to the point of tears.  One afternoon I called (A) crying as I had just gotten some extremely stressful news.  I was pouring out all my frustrations too him about that situation and a few others and didn’t realize that (a) was standing close enough to listen to my side of the conversation and see me crying.  When I got off the phone he very hesitantly announced that there was something he needed to tell me about a mess he accidently made but he added, “but mama, I really don’t want to tell you this because it is going to make you cry again.”  I felt terrible.  I didn’t want him to think he couldn’t bring his problems to me simply because I was having a very stressful day.  I quickly assured him that, though it was a major mess to deal with, it was not his fault, just an accident and I was not going to cry over that.  I felt about an inch tall.

 

I still have a long way to go in learning how to juggle the balance of allowing them to see me as a fallible human who experiences real emotions and seeing me as the mom who is their protector and barrier from all those and therefore needs to hide some of her emotions.  And I’m sure that will forever be a learning process as a parent.  Because they will ALWAYS be watching.

 

“In everything set them an example by doing what is good.  In your teaching show integrity, seriousness, and soundness of speech that cannot be condemned” Titus 2:7