The Week Before Kindergarten

 It’s the week before kindergarten.  In many ways I’m not even sure how we got here.  I feel like it was just yesterday that I was snuggling a tiny baby or a wiggly toddler (ok, I’m still doing both thankfully- but it isn’t for him).  But here we are.

 

It’s the week before kindergarten, and in so many ways I know he is ready.  We have a new cowboy backpack and it is filled with school supplies.  We have a lunchbox and water bottle.  We have 5 new pairs of jeans that (currently) don’t have the knees blown out of them and a few new tops that do not (yet) have stains.  He is excited and has been wanting to go every since he went to Kindergarten Roundup back in March… and now it’s the week before kindergarten.

 

I look at him and see all the ways I have watched him grow this summer.  Not just the fact that he is inches taller- but he has grown in independence and responsibility, he has grown in work ethic and persistence.  I have watched him make new friends, introduce himself to (appropriate) strangers, and speak in fluid answers to questions from adults.  I have marveled at many of our conversations lately- his demeanor and vocabulary are changing and I feel like I’m talking to a bigger kid.  We had a Mama date this week and he didn’t even want to hold my hand as we walked across the fairgrounds.  But it is the week before kindergarten, so instead of feeling sad I am choosing to be thankful for this maturity because it will help him be ready.

Our rodeo date night... the week before kindergarten.

 But it is the week before kindergarten, and in other ways I worry if we have prepared him enough.  He still needs help cutting his food, he still needs a nap no matter how hard I have tried to wean him off of it, he often still cries if he can’t find me in the house or thinks he has been left alone.  He still sucks his thumb when he is tired, and he doesn’t always understand “personal space.”  We have really tried practicing that I will have to be “Mrs. Sweeney” and not “Mama” when he sees me on lunch line duty.  That I can’t come rescue him all the time, even though I’m right across the hall, and the novelty of “Mama’s school” is about to become the reality of “his school” where procedures must be followed.

 

It is the week before kindergarten, and in so many ways my heart is happy for him.  He LOVES to learn and he is going to soak it all in like a sponge.  He loves making new friends and there is a building full of new friends to meet.  Doors will be opened for new opportunities for him, and awards will be given that will sometimes have his name on them.  He will get to shine his light for Jesus and I’m sure he’ll be inviting his friends to his church.  He is excited about this adventure and that makes me excited for him.

 

But it is the week before kindergarten, and in many ways my heart is broken.  I know how quickly time has gone and I know once we start this journey it won’t be long before we are getting college recruitment letters.  I know he will meet some kids whose homes aren’t quite like ours and I will have to start answering harder questions or sharing realities that will hurt his tender heart.  I know our evenings will become a battleground for a few weeks as he adjusts to the exhaustion of the long days and we adjust to the crankiness that comes when he is exhausted.  My heart breaks to know his friends won’t get to see his big dimple smile because it is mandated to be behind a mask, and he won’t know the smiles of his new friends either. 

 

It is the week before kindergarten, and our lives are about to change.  So for today I will hold him a little tighter when he lets me give him a hug, I will cherish every conversation he jabbers on about, we will cram in a few more adventures, and I will try to hide my occasional tears- because it’s the week before kindergarten and I don’t want to miss out on a single minute or emotion of it. 

 

This is the first verse (a) memorized and he and I have been using it a lot lately as we have been preparing for kindergarten.  “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6