When it All Falls Apart

On a very rare occasion I feel like I have it all together.  Those times never seem to happen when I need them to however.

 As I sit here typing it is late night on Monday and we are at one of my favorite places on Earth- church camp.  Church camp is where I have so many favorite summer memories from my childhood, it is where I gave my life to Christ and was baptized, it is where I met my husband, and where we later fell for each other.  Camp is where we spent our college summers working, and newlywed weekends serving, and it is where we spend at least a week of our summer every year as well as numerous other events throughout the year.  Of all the ministry capacities we serve in, it is where (A) and I most love serving together, and (a) has been coming with us to camp events since he was literally 2 weeks old. 

Over time I have learned that one thing always happens right before we come to camp for a big event, and it is this- everything always falls apart.  One year a storm flooded the camp breaking a water line and leaving the facilities with no water the day right before the kids arrived.  We have had “camp team” injuries and family emergencies the week before camp, babies arrive before their due dates, computer issues, instrument issues, last minute work schedule changes, and communication wires crossed.  This year was no different.  We lost a major player with two weeks before camp, two days before camp a medical emergency changed one family’s plans, our continued saga of unplanned home repairs had a timeline change that stole a ton of our prep time, my deep freeze had a major meltdown (pun intended- but seriously…) the night before we left, campers travel arrangements fell through an hour before we were set to leave, and to top it all off it has been a full moon (ask any teacher what that can mean when you are planning an event involving 73 middle school students!) 

But I have also learned something about when everything falls apart…. I have learned that that is the time to celebrate.  Because when everything falls apart, that is when we are getting ready to see something big come together for the glory of God.  See Satan is a big, fat, jerk and I believe distraction and frustration are some of his greatest tools.  When I discover I am stressed out, unprepared, my plans are changed, and plan Z has fallen through I know he is just working overtime to attempt to stop what God has in store for us when we get to camp.  Through the frustrated tears in my eyes as I threw the last minute, last chance items in our car and stated my worries about the freezer for the 1,273,589^th time,  I turned to (A) Sunday morning and reminded him this was a good sign.  Everything feels like it is falling apart, so it must mean this week is coming together.

Amid the preparation weeks I had created the outlines for lessons I would be teaching, and made plans for verses I wanted to share. But when my last week of work time was shifted I was beyond stressed out because planned time had vanished, child care plans had changed, and sleep was beginning to look like a distant memory.    Then God gave me a gentle reminder… when it all falls apart, HE gets to put it together.  The words of my lesson are no longer my words, but His, because quite simply, He is the only place they could come from.  I have come to understand what Paul meant in 2 Corinthians 12 9-10 when he said “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong. “ 

When it all falls apart, I am reminded just how weak I am in my humanity.  No amount of planning or preparation can change that.  And that is ok.  Because when I am weak, and stressed, and worried about how it is all going to come together- that is when I learn to trust most solidly on HIS strength, and HIS perfect plan.  And that plan is always way better and brings Him far more glory than anything I could have put together on my own.  Thank you Lord, for keeping me imperfect and weak, so that I can see YOU be perfect and strong.