But STILL

 As the new year approached, I began to pray about what word God would like me to focus on this year.  This is something I have done for the past few years.  Some years it has been a very quick, audible answer.  The first year I took a word it wasn’t even something I was looking for, but something that God called me to do.  This year it took a little more time to determine what my word would be.  A few things bounced around before God made it clear… STILL.  My word for the year is STILL.

 

There were some Bible verses I immediately thought of when I heard the word STILL, but within those verses the word STILL means different things.  As a matter of fact, when I looked at the dictionary entry for the word STILL, I discovered it can be used as four different parts of speech- a noun, a verb, an adverb, and an adjective.  And within those 4 parts of speech there are at least six different meanings.  I must admit, that feels a little daunting, because as I look at the year ahead, I just have a feeling God is going to be teaching me about many of those different meanings and how they require me to depend on Him.

 

Yesterday evening was very emotional for me.  It was a hectic day at school as usual, followed by a teachers’ meeting as soon as the students left and then a couple more hours of work to get report cards printed, digital materials posted for my remote learning students, parent messages responded to, and supplies organized for the next morning.  I hadn’t been paying any attention to my phone or any sort of news source since my break at lunch many hours earlier.  As I prepared to leave my classroom for the night around 5:00, I picked up my phone off my desk only to find multiple news notifications about current events at the Capital Building.  Immediately, I could feel panic rising inside me.  I had been following some of the new developments out of the congress the last couple days and this last news was the final straw to tip me into full blown anxiety.  I found myself in tears of fear, frustration, and worry.  And in a gentle voice, God reminded me, “Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations.  I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10  While many people may not be acknowledging God’s sovereignty, it does not change the fact that he WILL be exalted, and my anxious heart needs to be STILL (adjective meaning) and trust Him.  In my still very emotional state (full disclosure- probably a combo of current events AND hormones) I began texting my mom about what was going on.  As a part of her response she noted that no matter what, “God is STILL on the throne.”  There it was again… STILL  (adverb meaning). 

The beach has always been one of my favorite places to be STILL.

 I don’t even want to pretend I know what this year is going to bring to our lives.  I know there will be days as I mom that I need to STILL myself (verb meaning) from all the distractions and just focus on my little ones.  I know there will be times I will wonder how long teaching will STILL involve restrictions.  And I know it will take a lot of practice for me to be STILL and let God lead- because I usually am a person who wants to quickly jump to ACTION.  But despite whatever this year brings, He will STILL be Lord of my life.  He will STILL be exalted.  He will STILL hold me in the palm of His hand.  And I will STILL trust Him for each step of the way, because even STILL He is faithful. 

 

I look forward to sharing with you this year all the things I am STILL learning.  #beSTILL #butSTILL