The Way He Sees Me

Last weekend I wore leather pants.  Nevermind the fact that I am in my mid-thirties and don’t exactly have the body for leather pants.  I wore leather pants because (a) decided all the way back in April that we were all going to be the Avengers for Halloween.  Completely on his own, he announced he was going to be his hero, Captain America, (A) was going to be Thor, I was going to be Black Widow (because she is a girl he told me), and (b) was going to be “baby” Iron Man (note- baby Iron Man was still months from arriving when his big brother already had his costume picked out).  This plan was so important to him that we had to look for pictures of costumes nearly every week on my phone until we had them in our possession.  And so, even though I wasn’t so sure about how I looked, when it came the night of Fall Festival at our church, I put on the leather pants and walked into our living room to see if my DIY “Black Widow” costume met his approval.  His smile said it all, but he added that it “looked good,” so despite my own insecurities, off we went.  It really didn’t matter how I saw myself, it was about how he saw me.  What he saw “looked good” because I had helped make his plan come true of turning our family into the Avengers.

The next morning (a) was still so excited about his costume that he had it back on by 7:15 am.  As he sat at the breakfast table, I called him by name to ask if he wanted some more eggs.  He responded with a little bit of sass as he announced “Excuse me, I’m wearing the suit… it’s CAPTAIN AMERICA!” (A) and I exchanged glances as we tried to hide our giggles from him.  I apologized for my mistake in his identity and he did take some more eggs.  Later, when he was out of the room, we discussed his imagination and I felt that tender warm spot in my heart for how he sees things.  He didn’t see a three year old boy in his seat, he saw a super hero.

The costume experience was a precious reminder to me that he doesn’t always see things the way I do.  I, unfortunately, usually see the plain.  When I looked at leather pants in the mirror, I saw hips carrying a few more pounds than I like, and the reminders that I just had a baby 3 months ago.  When I looked at the breakfast table, I saw a cute little boy eating his eggs and bacon.  When (a) looked at me he saw someone willing to dress up to make his dream come to life.  When he looked at himself, he saw a brave, mighty, super hero.  And I’m thankful he doesn’t always see things the way I do.

It was also a perfect reminder, that God doesn’t see things the way that I do either.  When I look at myself, I see insecurities, flaws, shortcomings, and struggles.  I see the pitfalls and the plain in who I am.  But when He looks at me, He sees someone that was worth dying for, someone who is made in His image, someone that He calls His child, and someone that he dearly loves.  I’m so very thankful He doesn’t always see things the way I do.

“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called the children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him.” 1 John 3:1