Really Listening

Since going back to work a few weeks ago, I have become painfully aware of just how few hours there are in the day.  I have been forcing myself to walk out of school by 4:15 daily… that is never enough time to feel caught up.  By the time we are home and car unloaded and changed into play clothes it is at least 5:00.  The doggone daylight is gone by 6:45.  I don’t usually even think of fixing dinner before 7:00 because I’m trying to soak up every possible minute of outside playtime with the boys.  By the time we finally eat and do bath time and bed time I am completely exhausted, but once they are in bed I have papers to grade, I make sure everyone has bags packed and clothes laid out for the next day, bottles have to be washed, laundry has to be thrown in the washer, the kitchen is a disaster area, and I hope to find at least 5 minutes for adult conversation with my husband… after all he is working until 7 or 8 four nights a week lately. 

In the midst of all the hustle I often find myself multitasking to the point that I am only partially present with each situation I am attending to.  Then cue the mom guilt again, because in trying to do it all, I’m still missing things by trying to do too many things at once. 

When I arrived home from school Friday, I was determined to spend the weekend soaking in each interaction instead of multitasking my way through them all.  I took (a) with me for a Friday evening grocery run, and since the grocery is right across from the city park, of course he asked to go to the park and play.  I do enjoy going to the park with him, but usually tell him no without even listening to his protests- we are on a time schedule, it is a hassle to get both boys in and out of car seats, most of summer it was hotter than I wanted to navigate either huge pregnant or with a tiny infant.  But Friday night, I listened as he gave all the reasons why it worked out for us to go… and when I really listened, I realized he was right.  And though I was EXHAUSTED… I found myself at the top of the jungle gym in the city park and instead of his playing and chatter as background noise, I listened… and participated in his quest to be “king.” 

The next morning, he had out his daycare class picture from last year.  He gets it out often and talks about it, but I’m usually in the middle of something so I don’t pay much attention.  But that morning, I listened… and I learned about a child or two whose name I often hear him mention as his friends.  I even asked some questions and I listened as he answered them.  Then we went on to play in the yard for hours that day.  And instead of trying to multitask my way through the day, I listened to all the things he wanted to tell me about, and the ways he wanted to teach me to use my stick “sword.”  I listened to, and followed his suggestions of where to pull the red wagon, when to stop and let him pull the wagon, where to collect pine cones for our crafty friend, and his commentary on how he thought his baby brother was feeling about their adventure.  I listened as he practiced his Bible verses, and made a mental note of his vocabulary comprehension skills when he substituted “get scared” for “be afraid” in one of them. 

When I took the time to really listen, I was amazed at all I heard.  His imagination is wild, his creativity is pretty fun, his vocabulary rivals some of my current 3^rd graders, and he REALLY loves his family.  These are all things that I already knew about him, but I realized just how easily I forget them when I am only partially listening.  When I took the time to really listen, it made my day so much richer, so much more joyful, and our relationship even deeper. 

It was such a wonderful day.  And I couldn’t help but think…  if I have trouble slowing down enough to truly listen to the 3 year old whose noise is constantly echoing through my house… do I really take enough time to truly listen to the God of the universe?  I tell Him I want Him to run my life, and I want Him to flow out of who I am and everything I do- but if I’m not taking the time to listen- really listen- how can I possibly hear what He is telling me?  How can I be living to let him flow out of me if I don’t even know what he’s saying?

Though our days are hectic, and the hours seem few, my prayer is that I will spend my time listening- really listening- to the most important voices in my life.  I know I am going to be thankful for what I learn.

“Listen, you heavens, and I will speak; hear, you earth, the words of my mouth.”  Deuteronomy 51:1