The Lessons and Questions from Two Years on this Adventure

On Sunday, we celebrated the big TWO in our house.  Two years of diapers and dimples, giggles and gross gunk, amazement and anxiety, fun and frustration, our hardest work and greatest joy… two years of parenting. 

I will admit, we spent most of the first year apologizing to (a) for being completely inexperienced at what to do in this parenting gig.  Thankfully, he was patient and let us keep practicing through the second year.  While I will be the first to admit we do NOT at all have it figured out, we have learned a few things in the last two years, not just about parenting, but things about LIFE.

We have learned…

-Flexibility goes a long way.  Flexible plan, flexible schedule, flexible expectations… they are all important.  When I am determined something HAS to go a certain way, I am usually disappointed.  When we are willing to be flexible and regroup, parenting (and life in general) is much more enjoyable. 

-Always throw in the change of clothes… and I don’t just mean for the kiddo.

-Take time for the snuggles.  This has sometimes been hard for me because I tend to be a “go, go, go” type of girl.  I’m usually checking off my list and working to accomplish the next thing, but I have tried hard to learn that sometimes the snuggly nap is more important, the books that he wants read should trump what I’m working on, and the dishes and laundry will still be there tomorrow if I spend that time tonight enjoying bedtime cuddles (except, actually they may not because my husband is a rock star!)

-Trust your nose.

-The tough stuff is better shared.  I have no earthly clue how I would have navigated these first two years without a strong husband and a tribe of helpers.  Whether it is a rough diaper change, his fiercely stubborn streak, or a 3 am decision that it is snack-and-play time I’m grateful to have someone by my side to step in when my patience is thin or step up when I just don’t have it together.  We are blessed with family who will drop everything and help when we ask and friends who have stood in the gap for us when we needed it.  It really is true, it takes a village to raise a child, but I’m also learning to see that it takes a village to accomplish anything worth doing in life.

-Cheesy grins and peals of laughter can fix the worst day or melt a heart of stone.

-It’s still important to take time to be the best you.  At first, I was worried about how I would be able to be all mom, all the time, but I quickly learned that I didn’t have to be, actually that I SHOULDN’T be.  It is kind of the like the “airplane safety talk,” you know- the one where they tell you that you first must put on your own oxygen mask before helping someone else with theirs.  While it first sounds super selfish, it makes sense.  If you become incapacitated because you can’t breathe, you are no longer able to help the person you are with.  If I am not spiritually healthy, mentally healthy, emotionally healthy, or physically healthy I am not able to be the mom he needs me to be.  While I certainly can’t have all the “me time” I used to have, I have learned that it is not selfish to take care of myself because that I how I am able to give the best of myself to my family. 

-“Gross” is a relative term.

-When you think there is no way to love someone any more than you already do, just wait, you can.  (A) and I were married nearly 9 years before (a) was born.  We had been through a lot together, I was pretty sure I loved him as much as I could… and then I watched him become a dad.  If I tried to tell you everything I appreciate about him as a dad I would still be writing three days from now.  The sheer joy that radiates from the two of them together makes my heart want to explode.  There is no part of parenting he backs away from, and he does whatever it takes to help keep the balancing act of our crazy lives in play.  I thought I loved him before, but I love him even more now.  The same goes for that little dimple faced boy.  The first few days of his life I was totally amazed at how precious he was and we loved him quickly… but now he climbs in my lap and says “I want to hold Mama” and I realize I love him even more.  Every time I watch him read a book, or laugh, or play with his dog, or love on his people I think “there’s no way I could love him any more” and then he does something else and I realize I was wrong, it is possible to love him more than I already do.

While we have learned a lot about life from parent…. There are still a lot of questions that I have….

-Will we ever figure out how to squeeze 27 hours into a day?

-Will there ever be a time that I am not exhausted?

-Children’s cartoons….. Seriously, who let this Paw Patrol kid, Ryder, have 6 dogs at age 10? Who is funding all his crazy gadgets? Who voted for a mayor that constantly carries a chicken around in her purse??!!  Why has Adventure Bay never been listed on any vacation sites I have seen? I mean the place has ski slopes AND a beach you can swim in at the same time of year!!

-How does someone so small go through so much laundry?

-Is there any way around ALLLLL the messes?

-When will he stop screaming at haircuts and hair washes?

-Will the word “mine” ever be spoken kindly and lovingly?

-Will I ever be able to slow down time?

-Will he ever understand just how much we love him?

I don’t know if year three will hold the answers to any of these questions… but we are going to jump in to it and find out.

“Children are a gift from the Lord.  They are a reward from him.” Psalm 127:3 (NIRV)