The Plan

If you know much about me, you know that I am a girl who REALLY likes a plan.  Now I am willing to adjust the plan if needed, or scrap the original plan and go to plan B, C, or D…. but I function MUCH better with a plan.  And I don’t like a “blind plan”… my sweet (A) is perfectly happy to just set the GPS and do whatever it tells him to do- even when it seems ridiculous or takes you through the not-so-safe parts of a downtown.  It drives me crazy!  Me on the other hand, I am happy to set the GPS, but I immediately switch to the “overview” setting to make sure it isn’t going to send me on some crazy wild goose chase or direct me through an area where common sense says I should avoid.  I like to see that overview to kind of already know in my mind what I’m going to do and where I’m going to go.  And if I don’t like what GPS says I’m more than happy to pull out the good ole fashion map and re-plan our route that way.  I feel so much more confident with a plan.

In the last week, a new Bible study and some “life events” have focused my attention on some precious scripture about God’s plans for our life.  For a girl who loves a plan, it is incredibly reassuring that the God of the universe cares enough about me to have a plan specifically for my life.  But it also causes me to stop and think- to me it really is a “blind plan”… am I willing to let HIM lead me in that plan, or do I treat it like my GPS and think that I know better?

As a mom, it also makes me think so much about how I’m a praying over my children for that plan.  There are so many things I want to plan for these little boys… I hope (a) will always keep those precious dimples that melt me, I hope he will always love to have precious conversations about “how was your day,” pick flowers for his momma, and beg to turn up his favorite songs.  Even as I feel him wiggle and kick inside of me, I hope (b) will have the big personality of his brother, the singing voice of his momma, and tenacity of his daddy.  I want them to be brave, successful, have precious families of their own, careers they love, contribute to their churches and communities, and leave legacies of faith.  I have so many hopes, and dreams, and plans for them.

Psalm 139:16 reminds us of how “Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”  That verse has been a major heart check for me as a new mom and as an expecting mom.  To think that this tiny baby inside me hasn’t even taken his first breath of air yet, but God already has a plan for every one of his days. 

For the first year of (a)’s life, I nursed him.  And I made it a point to take that quiet time together to pray over him.  I prayed over the man he would grow to be, over the friends he would make, over the choices he would be faced with.  I prayed that above all else he would grow to love the Lord with all his heart.  I prayed over his future wife and that wherever she is- she is also being raised to love Jesus and others with all her being. I am ashamed to admit, that after that year of nursing was up, I haven’t always been as disciplined at setting aside the time to specifically pray over him like I did that first year.  But as I sat up with him at 2:30 am on Sunday morning, trying to get him back to sleep… I cried a little as I prayed over him.  I was reflecting on some of last week’s “life” and how it played out in the lives of others, I was reminded how desperately I want him to cling to God’s plan for his life.  I believe God has an AMAZING plan for him (as he does for each of us), but I know that God also gives us the gift of free will- and sometimes we use that free will the way I use my GPS… we decide we know better and we create detours in the plan.  While I am incredibly grateful that God is always able to redeem the plan, I know it would be SO much better to just follow His lead without thinking we know better.  Some of those detours we make can be dangerous and destructive. 

Even though I am heartbroken at the way some of last week’s reminder came to my life, I am thankful for the opportunity to refocus on how I pray for my children.  I want SO many wonderful things for them, but above all… I want them to follow the plan- God’s plan.  And in my own life I pray- God, grant me the wisdom to follow your plan without making my own adjustments.

“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future… You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jeremiah 29: 11, 13