The Pieces of "ME"

A year ago this week, our lives changed dramatically.  Sometimes when I think about it, it seems like it was a lifetime ago, other times it feels like it was just yesterday.  Our friend situation and how we socialized changed, our place of worship changed, our finances changed, our security in the future changed, and so much more.  In many ways, I felt like I had lost my identity because so much of how I knew life had changed.  There were a lot of pieces of me that I lost. 

As I did some major unpacking and (FINALLY) decorating in our new house this weekend, I admitted to (A) that I felt like the pieces of me were starting to slowly come back.  We will be hosting a cook-out with several couples on Saturday- something that used to be regular in my home and I have deeply missed.  Opportunities to rest came over the weekend, and I realized just how long it had been since I had rested so well- I have spend so long working fiercely to “hold it all together” that true rest felt impossible.  I’m slowly finding my groove in my classroom.  The pieces of “ME” are coming back.  But I will admit, they don’t all look the same anymore. 

Me... the Me HE created Me to be... those pieces are coming back
(Photo credit to the super talented Emily Curtis)

Throughout the course of the last year I have learned a lot about myself by having to listen intently to who God says I am.  The pieces of “ME” are coming back, but some of the pieces look a little different.

“The Lord turned to him and said, ‘Go in the strength you have and save Israel out of Midian’s hand. Am I not sending you?’” Judges 6:14  The pieces look stronger that I ever knew I could be.  Not because I am strong, but because I have learned to rely on His strength. Though the strength I have might seem small to be, the strength that is sending me in is more powerful than I could ever imagine.

“You will not have to fight this battle.  Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the Lord will give you, Judah and Jerusalem.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.  Go out to face them tomorrow and the Lord will be with you.”  2 Chronicles 20:17  The pieces are braver and less afraid because I know who goes before me.  I have watched Him fight my battles, and I have seen him deliver me.

“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6  The pieces are more confident, because I know He is still working on me.  And He is not going to leave me unfinished.  The things I know He has placed inside of me will not be laid to waste.

“He is before all things, and in him all things hold together.” Colossians 1:17  The pieces are held together a little differently, because I know that I simply can’t hold it all together, no matter how desperately I try, but HE can.

“Our God, will you not judge them? For we have no power to face this vast army that is attacking us.  We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” 2 Chronicles 20:12  The pieces are more focused, because I have learned the only way to face an overwhelming situation is to keep my eyes firmly focused on the One who does have the power to change it. 

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.  See, I am doing a new thing!  Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?  I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.” Isaiah 43:18-19  Some of the pieces are new.  Pieces of me that felt like a wasteland have been traded for pieces that are refreshed.

“Do not neglect your gift…” 1 Timothy 4:14a The pieces of me that held my gifts and talents are eager to come back out of hiding.  I see that He placed those pieces in me for His purpose, and that I will have the chance to use them again for His glory.

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher that your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9  The pieces have a different perspective, as I have realized that I may never understand the entire picture, but I can trust the one who does see it.   

It has been a process.  It has often been a messy and unattractive process, but the pieces of “ME” are coming back.  They are joys and passions He placed inside me that He wants to use for His work.  They are desires and talents He wants to use to serve His people.  The pieces are unique and colorful, bold and basic, small and large.  Some pieces are in place, and others are still waiting to be found.  But the pieces of “ME” that He created are coming back, and with those pieces, I see just who He created me to be. 

“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10

“But now, this is what the Lord says- he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; YOU ARE MINE.” Isaiah 43:1