Separation Anxiety

It’s no secret that our son loves his daddy.  He has actually made it clear on more than one occasion that Daddy is his favorite.  And I try not to be hurt by that, because he does have an awesome dad.  (A) is the one who gets him ready in the morning and drops him off at daycare.  They do “chores” together (feeding the dogs and the goldfish), share snack rituals, snuggle for bedtime, work in the yard, you name it, they do it together. 

Back in the spring, (A) moved to Illinois ahead of us to begin his new job.  For about four weeks (a) and I only saw him on the weekends as we stayed behind in Indiana to finish packing up our house and our life.  I had no idea what kind of separation anxiety that was going to bring!  It was intense.  And since then, he has been unwilling to let Daddy out of his sight.  During the summer, there were tears EVERY morning when (A) left for work and (a) was going to stay with me.  He would beg and plead to go to “Daddy’s work.”  Now that school has started he begs not to go to childcare because he wants to “go Daddy’s work.”  If (A) has evening meetings there is a lot of crying and wailing, and trying to chase Daddy’s car out of the driveway.  (a) gets up in the middle of the night because he wants his daddy.  When he runs errands with me, he spends the entire time asking how soon we are going to go see Daddy.  If (A) goes downstairs to watch TV, that is where (a) has to be.  If Daddy is in the shower, he wants to take a shower too.  If we need to go somewhere in two cars, he has to ride with Daddy.  Last night he even wet his pull-up because he was with me and when I questioned why he didn’t tell me his response was “I need to tell DADDY I go potty!”  Geesh kiddo, Mama IS still a great option for potty-break-help!😂 

This separation anxiety is tough to deal with, but at the same time I get it.  I have had a hard time adjusting to all our changes as well.  I love that he wants to be that close to his daddy (though he could cut me some slack every now and then lol).  But it has also given me some perspective too.  Do I feel that kind of separation anxiety when I haven’t spent enough time with Jesus?  I have found that the more I read his Word, the more of it I want to read and know.  The more time I spend in prayer, the more time I want to spend.  And when I have neglected that time, I WANT to feel the separation anxiety of needing to get back to Him.  When I feel like I’m drowning in my feelings, I WANT to ask Him to carry me.  I want to chase after Him like (a) chases Daddy’s car in the drive.  I want to look for Him as my safe place when I am scared in the night (or any other time).  And I want to be about His work.  And if I am not feeling that way, I SHOULD be feeling separation anxiety for more of Him. 

For me, one of the greatest gifts of parenthood has been seeing life through the eyes of a child.  It makes me realize how much differently I can see from that vantage point, and that just maybe, that is the perspective I should look through more often.  Especially when it comes to never wanting to be separated from my Abba Father. 

“Glory to His holy name; Let the heart of those who seek the Lord be glad.  Seek the Lord and His strength; Seek His face continually.” 1 Chronicles 16:10-1