A Lesson in Confidence

Confidence is something our son does not lack.  Lately he has told me several times “I do a great job, Mama!” when he has completed a task, or if he is playing.  He even will say to me “Mama, you tell me ‘great job!’”  He will ask for a high five for his great job or instruct us to say “Yay (a)!”  I can’t lie, it makes me giggle nearly every time.  It also makes me wonder when we lose that sense of confidence.  When he declares that he does a great job, or asks us to tell about a great job it isn’t because he is trying to brag, he just really believes that he is working hard, and that he really is doing well at the task at hand.

Mr. Confidence himself

I, on the other hand, find myself constantly doubting myself and my ability.  I don’t know if I’m good enough, I wonder if I have what it takes, I don’t have confidence in my appearance, I am worried of what other people will think of me.  Just over a year ago, God put 4 words on my heart.  They were, brave, CONFIDENT, positive, and grateful.  I have spent the last year really discovering what those words meant in my life, and what I discovered was that in the areas of brave and confident, those were places where I needed to let God grow me (I truly had no idea what the last year of my life was going to hold, and how desperately I was going to need to know what it meant to be brave and confident).  There was a point in time where, like (a), I had confidence in myself.  But life has a way of stealing that confidence, and that is what happened to me. 

Many times I have been told that when it comes to confidence just “fake it til you make it.”  While that sounds good in theory, I refuse to live by this mantra, because I never want anything about who I am to be “fake.”  To me, fake is a cheap imitation, fake is not trustworthy, fake does not care.  I NEVER want to be fake.  But what God is teaching me about confidence is that I don’t have to fake it, what I do have to do is CLAIM it.  I am learning that confidence comes in knowing who I am, and WHOSE I am.  That the gift and talents inside of me really are worth showing and sharing because HE is the one who put them there for the use of His glory.  That I really AM enough, because HE is enough.  I’m realizing that finding my strengths and playing into them is how I follow the calling He is placed on my life.

It has not been easy, it has pulled me out of my comfort zone.  It has required a lot of “pep talks” into my heart that it is OK to claim confidence.  But then I do something as simple as make dinner and I hear “Yay, Momma! You do a great job!!”  And as I just smile and say thank you, I realize God is teaching me to claim confidence in who He says I am, so I can help teach that little cowboy watching to do the same thing.

“Such confidence we have through Christ before God.  Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but our competence comes from God.” 2 Corinthians 3:4-5

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded.  You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised… And, ‘But my righteous one will live by faith.  And I will take no pleasure in the one who shrinks back.’” Hebrews 10:35-36, 38