One thing that has constantly amazed me as a parent is a
child’s capacity to make friends at a very young age. And when I say “make friends” I don’t just
mean visit or flirt with anyone who talks to you (as it would seem my son has
that down too)- but I mean genuinely get excited to see each other, share your
food, hold hands to walk, laugh at each other kind of friends. My (a) has a best friend (ax) who I always
just assumed would be his “friend” because his parents are very close to us and
we do lots of things together. But as
time has passed, and I have watched their little friendship grow, it always
blows my mind and stretches my heart. They
are genuinely SO excited to spend time together. A few weeks ago we were headed to their house
and (a) just couldn’t get his act together (really!? You’re 18 months old son,
it’s time to be responsible and get yourself ready to go places). He couldn’t find his shoes and wouldn’t hold
on to his sippy cup (ok, I couldn’t find the shoes, but that was because he had
been playing with them). Finally, I told
him “I need you to get your shoes now so we can go to (ax)’s house!” He immediately made the most hysterical face
and started literally shaking with excitement.
He miraculously found his shoes and was ready to go within seconds of
this news. And his arrival was met with
a reciprocal greeting. The fun thing is,
this was not an isolated incident. It is
the norm when he knows they are going to spend time together (and often
involves a mad dash to the nursery on Sunday mornings to find his pal).
They are also fabulous at sharing with each other. Toys, giggles, food, germs, each other’s
dogs, clothes, parents… they don’t mind to share. Despite how it looks from the camera angle,
there was absolutely no fight over this bag of chips, nor was there one over
the red popsicle they had shared earlier in the evening. They simply both feel like what’s mine is
yours- including hugs and kisses or reassurance from each others' parents. Ever since they were very small
these two have willingly and lovingly been proud to share with each other. Now don’t get me wrong, there are scuffles
from time to time, but they are usually resolved with a hug and some love and a
chance to try again.
Since (ax) is 13 months older than (a) he has always been
the protector in the friendship. When
(a) was first learning to walk (ax) was always so excited to hold his hand and
help him or offer encouragement- it made my heart skip a beat so many sweet
times. And he is quick to remind him “no
no” when (a) is getting into something he shouldn’t be. There is no judgement between them, no unsettled
anger, no drama, no one-upping, just pure innocent friendship. And it often makes me think how much adults
could learn from the friendships of small children.
*Do we genuinely get excited to see each other and spend time together?
Or is friendship just a social obligation because of things we have in
common. True friends- the kind you want
to hold on to with both hands- make you so excited to see them, whether it has
been 6 weeks, 6 years, or 6 minutes since you were together.
*Sharing is caring. Maybe
it is your wardrobe, your apple pie recipe, your favorite lipstick, or your
Friday night dinner plans- but real friendship means sharing our lives and our
hearts. All the way back in the Garden
of Eden God said that it was not good for man to be alone, and I don’t think he
just meant his eating would suffer (though I’m pretty sure that would be the
case for my dad and my hubby). We were
created to live in community, to share in our joys and our struggles, to share
laughs and concerns.
“A friend loves at all
times, and a brother is born for adversity.” Proverbs 17:17
*Most scuffles can be resolved by a hug, and some love, and a chance to
try again. We are not perfect,
we are human, and because of that it is inevitable that we won’t ALWAYS agree
with our friends. There may even be days
when want to walk away and be done “playing” for a while. But that doesn’t mean a good friendship is
worth throwing away. Extend some love,
and find the chance to try again.
*Hold hands and encourage each other when one of you is likely to fall
down or trying to learn to “walk.”
The world is full of enough mommy-judgement, social media qualified experts,
negative third cousins twice removed, body shaming, opinion giving noise
makers. No more of any of those are
needed… just hold hands and encourage each other. Maybe her new venture is riskier than you
would take, but you wish you were as brave as she is- tell her she is
brave. Maybe this leap of faith looks
like a free fall with no parachute to her, but you think she will be a rock
star- tell her she’s a rock star. And
maybe she will fall down, but if you are holding her hand she is less likely to
skin her knees and more likely to try again.
“Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down,
one can help the other up. But pity
anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”
Ecc.
4:9-10
*Sometimes, someone has to be the protector and say “no, no” when one of
you is trying to get in to something you shouldn’t. For some of us that means a warning on
touching that piece of cheesecake, or wearing those leggings with the giant
print that make you look 1,300 lbs bigger.
But it also takes a lot of love as a friend to look at a life situation
and say “hold on, this choice isn’t God’s best for you.”
“As iron sharpens iron, so
one friend sharpens another.” Proverbs 27:17
I’m so grateful God put some ladies in my life to be the
kind of friends my son has in (ax)- {who I think learned by watching his sweet
momma be that special kind of friend to me.}
And most of all I’m grateful that God loves us enough to
want us to have that extra special friendship with Him. He wants us to share our joys and pains with
him. He loves us enough to give us a
chance to try again when we fail Him. He
holds on tightly to us when it looks like we might fall and encourages us to “walk”-
even walk on water. And He loves us
enough to tell us “No, don’t make that choice because I have a better plan for
you.” Thank you, Lord, for your daily lessons on friendship.
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