What Hasn't Been Taken

This year has been unlike any other in my life.  I think “cancelled” is one of the words I have heard more in 2020 than I ever care to hear the rest of my life.  On my sparse calendar there were still two events in September that I was really looking forward to.  One was the bicentennial celebration at my home church and the other was a women’s retreat where I was going to be teaching.  However, on Monday this week my mom texted to let me know the church had cancelled the bicentennial celebration.  Then on Tuesday, the women’s retreat coordinator called me to pull the plug on that event as well.  I was pretty heartbroken. 

 

I am ashamed to admit that my first thought was pretty crude as I just wanted to scream, “2020 sucks.”  All I could think about was how many things we have missed out on this year.  We were supposed to be at church camp this week- one of our favorite parts of summer.  I’m preparing for a school year with no convocations, no PE, no recess, no field trips, no group science projects, no language arts board games, and no visible smiles.  And that is just this week’s list of disappointments and worries.  Everyone I know could go on and on about the weddings moved, graduations cancelled, proms that didn’t happen, new babies with no grandparent visits at the hospital, and so many other things.  As I found myself wanting to throw a huge pity party I had to stop.  I felt myself going down the rabbit hole of sadness and anger, and before I could get the words out about how angry I was at all 2020 had taken away, a gentle whisper reminded me of what 2020 had GIVEN me.

 

I was given more time home with the boys than I would have had in any normal year.  In that time, I watched them grow and develop a little more each day.  I have been given more snuggles and giggles than usual.  We were given more family dinners than we have ever had as (A)’s evening meetings and engagements were scaled way back.  We were given more trips to the farm than the last 2 summers allowed.  My grandparents move to the farm in 2020 has given me more time with them this year than the last several years combined.  I was given more time to work on projects both inside and outside the house.  I have had the opportunity to read more books for pleasure than usual.  Even some of the crazy events had a silver lining- such as not needing to worry about sub plans for school when I had my emergency extraction of all 4 wisdom teeth (and the money we were saving by not going to daycare was available to pay for the procedure).  And our extra time out of the building allowed my school a BEAUTIFUL face lift with a renovation grant we received pre-pandemic. 

 

When I focus on what was taken from us this year the heartbreak is overwhelming, but when I focus on what we were given my heart is much more thankful.  2020 may have taken all the events off of my calendar, but it is not going to take my joy.

 

“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18