One Life Out Loud: The Best Laid Plans

By nature I’m a planner. A preparer. I like to know what is coming next and be ready for it. But sometimes God has a subtle (or sometimes not so subtle) way of reminding me that life doesn’t always go as I planned.

On Saturday, June 29 we went to a pool party at the home of some friends. While focusing on watching (a), (A) did not watch himself as closely. He slipped on one of the pool steps and in trying to catch himself he landed on his arm in just the wrong way. A few hours and some x-rays later we had confirmation of what we already were pretty sure of… it was broken. In 2 places. The kind nurse at urgent care took one look at me and said “Oh bless your heart- this is bad timing. That baby is coming soon!” Yes… it was 10 days before our scheduled c-section and my head was swirling with “Oh no!” (A) was put in a splint at a 90 degree bend up above his elbow and all the way down to his fingers. All I could think about was the stress of what he couldn’t do. How was he going to mow the yard? How would he drive me around after surgery? How would he help with the baby in the hospital? I had already booked newborn family pictures- how were we going to hide this huge cast in pictures I was already looking forward to printing and hanging all over our walls? All my plans were starting to worry me. I just kept taking relief in the fact that we still had 10 more days. Once he was in his “official” hard cast we would know more. A lot of healing could happen in 10 days. I was going to take comfort in that.

The next day was Sunday afternoon and we had a relaxing family day. I put a couple finishing touches on my preparations for baby- a little extra cleaning on the infant seat, some hand washing on the diaper bag that has been put away for a year. I was feeling good that I was at least in control of those preparations and had them ready with PLENTY of time to spare. I went to bed around 10:30 feeling a little hormonally sorry for myself as I continued to worry about (A)’s arm, the pain he was dealing with, and how I was going to add his new list of dr appointments to all the pre-op appointments I was looking at for the week. I wasn’t completely sure how I would juggle it all.

Around 1:00 in the morning I woke up with what I thought was a cramp in my back. I was sure it was just from being 38 weeks pregnant and sleeping in a weird position. I rearranged myself and it went away… only to return a few minutes later. After this repeated itself about 3 times I started to wonder what was going on. I couple more “come and go” cramps later I had the thought… I wonder if this could be contractions. I never had one with (a) as he had been a breech baby and therefore a scheduled c-section. The method of his arrival was why I was scheduled for a repeat surgery, and due to some of my medical factors we were very much hoping to avoid spontaneous labor. One of my medications needed to be completely out of my system before surgery, and things would work more smoothly if we could time that all in a planned way. Around 2:00 am I found myself Googling “What do contractions feel like?” I began timing them and realized yes… these were definitely contractions coming consistently 6 minutes apart. I went downstairs to wake up (A) who was sleeping in the recliner where he could prop up his throbbing broken arm, and unbeknownst to me had JUST taken some pain medication.

As I cried telling him I thought I was in labor all I could say was “It wasn’t supposed to be this way! This ISN’T the plan!!” All I could think about were the appointments that we were supposed to go to throughout the week so that my medical team and I would be prepared for delivery. We didn’t have his broken arm “set” yet, we were supposed to be meeting our new pediatrician…. But despite the plan, by 3:00 am there was no doubt I was in labor. I called my mom and told her I thought she needed to pack a bag and head west, then I called my dear friend Angie and asked if she could come to the house and stay with (a) until my mom could arrive in a few hours.

While I took a quick shower, fixed my hair, and put on my make-up (and if you know me personally, none of that list surprises you about me!) I was thankful that I am a planner and preparer- my hospital bag was ready with everything the baby and I needed. The infant seat was freshly washed and ready to roll… and then as we got ready to walk out the door (A) admitted that he had taken some of his pain medication just an hour and a half before. He should NOT be driving. So… having contractions 5 minutes apart at this point, I drove us 25 minutes to the hospital. It was one of those laugh or cry moments as I looked at us- we chose to laugh and think about the story we will have to tell our boys someday.

Within a couple hours, they confirmed what I knew in my heart… ready or not (b) was going to make his arrival on July 1^st. Eight days ahead of “the plan”, without the pre-op appointments that were going to bring me peace of mind, a lot of physical limitations from my normally very helpful hubby, and chasing the clock for my meds to be out of my system. Completely out of my control and out of the plan- all I could do through my fear was pray and trust that God DID have control of the situation, and He knew the ultimate plan. As I lay in the hospital bed hooked up to machines and being prepped for surgery the song our kids had learned at VBS just the week before seemed stuck on repeat in my head. It felt a little silly to me, but as I let myself think through the words a little wave of peace washed over me “I’m trusting You, God, You are good! Life can get crazy, wild, and amazing, I’m trusting You God, You are good!”

At 11:42 am, weighing 7 lbs, 1 oz, and 20 inches long- baby (b) entered our lives with the most precious cry and perfect reminder that even outside of my plan- God is good. I was surrounded by a great medical team who proceeded with grace and confidence as if all was happening as scheduled. And on the eve of what was supposed to be his birthday in MY plan, instead we are celebrating a whole week of blessings. He is precious, ADORED by his big brother, and has multiplied the JOY in our home. None of it went the way I had planned (and I’ll admit- a few pieces have still been a little trickier because of that), but it has been a beautiful reminder of God’s faithfulness, and to ultimately trust HIM for the plan.