Beautiful Goodbyes

I’ll never forget standing at my great-grandmother’s bedside on that Sunday afternoon.  I was 13 and old enough to know I was there to say good-bye.  But I remember feeling at a loss for what to say- what DO you say to someone you adored and cherished, someone with whom you had made a million memories and shared a lot of love?  I didn’t know what to say, so I talked to her like I always had- telling her about my week and sharing things I thought she would be proud of me for.  I was going to be trying out for choir that week, she and I loved to sit at the piano and I sang as she played.  I told her many times that I loved her and then that I would see her later.  I knew walking out that our “see you later” would be in heaven.  That goodbye was so hard for me, but I also knew I was blessed to have had 13 special years of memories with her, I realized many of my friends had not had as much time with their great-grandparents or the kind of special relationship we had shared.  Hard goodbyes are beautiful, because they represent so much love and life shared.  But there was also beauty in that goodbye because I knew what was coming- she had faithfully loved Jesus for many years and was headed for someplace so much better. 

With our quickly approaching move, the goodbye process has begun in our life.  We have started sharing “goodbye” dinners with dear friends, and family gatherings are planned.  On Sunday my amazing Praise Team friends threw us a farewell luncheon.  Yesterday, I submitted my formal resignation letter from my teaching job and after school the realtor came to officially list the house and put the “For Sale” sign in our front yard.  And I can’t lie- those things were HARD.  I don’t always know what to say in those “goodbye moments.”  How do you tell people just how much they have meant to you, and how grateful you have been for the opportunities they have given you?  But here is what I keep telling (A), how BLESSED are we to be having such hard goodbyes!  Hard goodbyes are beautiful, because they represent so much love and life shared.  If it was easy to walk away from friends and jobs and ministries, would we really have had anything invested?  (A) admitted that pulling into the drive from work and seeing the sign in the yard while (a) was in the backseat cheering “My house!!” was hard- but hard in a beautiful way because this home has held so much love and laughter, happy memories and ministry moments.  And here is what else I know, there is beauty in these goodbyes because we know what’s coming.

For us, what’s coming is a wonderful church family that has already showered us with love and anticipation.  Last weekend my dad brought a truck and trailer to help me move another load of things from our home to our storage unit in our new town.  I simply sent ONE text message on Friday morning letting a friend know that we were headed out that afternoon and I wondered if there might be a couple people available to help us unload.  When we pulled up to the storage facility that evening, there were more people than I could count waiting on us to help.  We then had dinner together and they gave my dad the “grand tour” of our new church facilities.  My heart continues to be overwhelmed with what is coming- we feel so loved.  And before we left that evening, my sweet Daddy admitted to our new church family that this goodbye was really hard for him because he and (a) are best buddies, but he understands now the joy that’s coming in our lives because of this new opportunity. 

There was a gorgeous sunset reflecting off the side of the church building as we pulled up Friday evening.  It felt like such a symbol of the joy that's coming and the excitement I feel each time we have pulled in to the parking lot.

In this season of hard goodbyes, I will continue to “defer to grateful” for the beauty that is in them, and the beauty in what is coming.  If you are one of my hard goodbyes, and I say it with a smile instead of tears, know it is because I’m SO happy for what we have shared.  And if you are part of the joy that’s coming, THANK YOU for giving us so much to look forward to.  The Lord gives GOOD gifts to his children, and I am so thankful for the gift of beauty in hard goodbyes.

“…weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning… You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, that my heart my sing your praises and not be silent.” Psalm 30:5, 11-12