Through the Lens

Last week, my sister was riding in the car with me as we headed to take (a) on a pumpkin patch adventure.  We were visiting and laughing and I couldn’t help but notice as I was driving just how BEAUTIFUL the fall leaves were on this gorgeous sunny day.  When I said something to her about it, she gave me kind of a “huh?” and I responded by telling her how impressed I was with the colors.  The trees were WAY prettier than we had at home, and we don’t live all that far from each other!  She again gave me kind of a quizzical look, and so I slipped off my sunglasses to look back at her.  It was then I realized… the leaves were BARELY starting to turn it all, they only had a very slight tint of yellow to them, it was actually my orange/gold tinted sunglasses lenses that were blending with the very slight yellow to make the leaves look BRILLIANT.  In reality, the colors were not very vibrant at all, and definitely no different than home.  The lens I was looking through was what made the colors appear as I saw them.  We had a good laugh about it (I promise my natural hair color is brown, but I know sometimes my sisters wonder…) but it gave me some food for thought.   The lens we look through has a lot to do with our perspective on life.

Sunglasses on, Pumpkin Patch ready!

 

It’s true for so many things in life, even silly ones.  I am a Purdue University graduate, so I notice cars with Purdue plates more than others.  I own a small business on the side, so I notice when people use the products made by our company.  I love to be girly, so I pay attention to the shoes, jewelry, purses, make-up, and hair of other women. 

The lens of life experience also seems to “tint” my vision.  I have some medical history that led to a time in our lives where (A) and I did not know if we would ever be able to have children.  At the time we were very private about the situation, and did not share this with many people.  However, the constant question of “When are you going to have babies!!??” or the reminders that “You aren’t getting any younger!” or “All your friends are having kids, why won’t you have a baby!?” wore on me heavily.  Because my lens of that question brings back pain, it nearly makes me sick anytime I hear someone ask the same question of another couple.  Through the lens of the person asking the question it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but through my lens perspective I want to SCREAM “Don’t you know that could be the most painful question on the planet that you just asked!!??? Don’t you know they may DESPERATELY want to have babies and they are well aware that they are not getting any younger?!  They may be thinking the same thing… ALLLL our friends are having babies, why won’t OUR bodies let us have a baby.” 

My life experience lens also tends to make me naïve at times.  I was raised in a home with two parents who still love each other 37 years into marriage, who took me to church every Sunday, who expected us to work hard, use our manners, do our best, and never give up.  We sat down to dinner as a family most nights (harvest season was sometimes an exception haha), we talked about what was happening in our lives, and we knew that if we were in trouble at school there would be more trouble at home.  I have parents who love/loved us through any situation we were facing and meant it when they said they would carry us through.  It was an amazing lens to grow up looking through, but it often blindsides me as a teacher.  I can’t comprehend what it is like to be raised in the homes of some of my students when they share devastating stories, when parents walk away, when no work ethic is being instilled at home, when they don’t feel loved unconditionally… my lens was so different I don’t know how to look through theirs.

My little boy has a lens of wonder and amazement at the simple things in life.  While on fall break last week, we spent an hour one afternoon at the playground together.  I LOVE to watch how carefully he examines so many things and how exciting the littlest things can be to him.  He picked up a leaf, kept turning it over and over and then exclaimed “WHOOAAAA!!!” Next, it was a stick that he kept holding up, looking at from different angles, and then announced “Stick!! Wow!” And I think… through his little lens all those things are AMAZING.  Where did my vision or lens change that I don’t see those same things in the same ways?  Is it time to have my “eyes” checked?

I will admit, there have been a lot of days lately where I honestly have not been ok.  Through the lens of those days even things like ink stains on a shirt, a long drive in the car, or the realization that there is no nursery are enough to send me straight to tears and break my spirit for the rest of the day.  I have to change the lens I look through and find the one that makes gratefulness vibrant, the one that makes the love of my family stand out, the lens that reminds me that God is in control.  And I’ll be real, some days I just can’t do it… I can’t find a lens to make pain less painful, to make a process less difficult to face, to make a dark spot seem more light…

But I do know this, I am loved by the ONE who has perfect vision, and is the only one whose lenses see everything in perfect clarity.  And I know that He has our little family in the palm of his hand.  We just have to trust Him, and look at our life through the lens of His love. 

“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen.  For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal”     2 Corinthians 4:18

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.”    Isaiah 55:8