Every Girl Needs a Tribe

Life is full of tough things.  I’m a pretty independent gal, but even so I’m glad we were never intended to face those tough things alone.  I’m a firm believer that every girl, whether 2 or 102, needs a “tribe,” a cheering section, some people to lean on.

My stage of life is that tough mom stage.  These little boys are such huge blessings, but sometimes even our blessings can overwhelm us.  Many days both of them are crying at once, or both of them are hungry at the same time (but currently fed in ways that I can’t help them both at the same time), three year old independence is a challenge, and life balance is hard to find.  Sometimes I feel like (A) and I just survive in the same house and sneak in 2 minutes of adult conversation every other day or so between episodes of cartoons and loads of laundry.  It’s tough… but then my “mom tribe” reminds me I’m not alone. 

A few weeks ago, we were with friends who are all in the same stage of life we are living through.  All our kiddos were playing together and I quickly realized we were all independently disciplining our children for essentially the same behaviors- behaviors that I was stressing about because I thought we had the only kid in the world who was acting that way.  We laughed as we realized we all were worried about our parenting, thinking maybe we were failing our kids, only to see it is truly a developmental stage we will all face, guide and correct them through, and move on.  None of us are failing and we shouldn’t feel like we’re in it alone.

The best thing about my “mom tribe” is- we aren’t all in the same stage of life.  Some of them are older than me, and their kids are older than me… meaning they survived this stage and lived to tell about it.  Their encouragement reminds me that I too can do it!  When I went back to school yesterday it was emotional for me.  While I love what I do, I love being mom too and transitioning back to the classroom and my boys back to daycare had me feeling a little nervous… but I have a tribe.  School had a welcome sign for me on the marquee when I pulled up, inside I was greeted with a banner hanging that had been signed by the entire student body, I received texts and emails from friends both local and far away, as well as parents of students in my classroom letting me know that they were praying for our transition.  My class threw me a welcome back party, and my principal burst through the door of my room during the first part of the morning to announce “Welcome Home!”  Truthfully, yesterday I wiped more happy tears for how loved I felt than I wiped in sadness as I kissed my babies good-bye.    Tough days are so much easier with a tribe!

And I know the is only one stage where I will need a tribe.  I’ve watched my mom support friends through the journey of releasing kids to spread their wings and fly.  I’ve seen teacher friends form new bonds and mentorships in their retirement.  For years we were in a church where the widows supported each other so much they even named their little “tribe” of friends- and when a lady faced the painful loss of burying her husband, they were right there to hold her up.  You often even saw them come help fill her pew at church when she returned for the first time after walking through that valley.

Life is tough, but God calls us to live in community, to pray for each other, to do life together, to encourage each other, to hold each other up, to walk through the valleys and climb the peaks together. 

Every girl needs a tribe. To tell her she’s got this, to remind her she’s not alone, to let her know they have been there, and to bring food (or unsweet ice tea) when she needs it.  To celebrate her wins, and to cry with her when she doesn’t win.  To tell her that her hair looks great on a day when everything else is falling apart, to tell her that her dress is tucked into her pantyhose on a day when she things she is winning at everything. 

Every girl needs a tribe… and on days like yesterday I am SO very grateful for mine!

“For I want very much to see you, so I may impart to you some spiritual gift to strengthen you, that is, to be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith, both yours and mine.” Romans 1: 11-12