Old Things New Again

I’ll admit that in many ways I can be old fashioned.  While I can be pretty technologically savvy in my professional life, I’m often a pen and paper gal when I am working on things around my home.  I know there are tons of great apps out there for cooking, parenting, and keeping track of your life, but I still love the feel of flipping open a cookbook, parenting by “winging it”, and well I can’t say I have any good method for keeping track of our crazy life (maybe I need one of those apps…) but I do still faithfully use the paper/pen calendar that hangs on the wall in my kitchen to keep track of many things on our schedule.

I think I must have rubbed off on our son in some ways.  In the last couple of months he has discovered VHS tapes.  And he finds them FANTASTIC.  Through a small stash I had collected over the years, he found out there were a lot of great movies and characters he hadn’t seen before in those little rectangular boxes.  When we discovered how much he enjoyed them, the hunt was on for more.  We now have some interesting Goodwill stories (Did you know VHS tapes sometimes sell for as little as 5 for 27₵?!) and have created quite a collection of classics that he LOVES to watch over and over.  Now I spend my days hoping our old VHS player doesn’t kick the bucket!!  In a time where most kids his age know how to stream their media, we are waiting on the whirr of the rewind and adjusting the tracking- and he is thrilled.  Sometimes what was old becomes new again.  He doesn’t know the age some of those favorite tapes have on them, he hasn’t yet realized that Disney used the same voice over talents for MULTIPLE films, he doesn’t realize that most of his friends have no idea what he is talking about when he chatters about his movies- and that is ok.  To him it doesn’t matter that they are old, in his eyes they are new again.

For me, it has been fun to watch his delight and relive some of my childhood favorites over and over with him.  He is always thrilled and surprised when (A) and I sing along to the songs that he thinks are new.  And it has sometimes got me thinking about old habits that I should make new again.  Before parenthood I was great about making the bed every morning.  There have been seasons of life where I kept a great prayer journal.  There are habits I used to be better about in my “beauty routine” and pregnancy really put the breaks on my running habit by about week 18.  Maybe it is time to make some of those old habits new again.  As I watch changes in society, I think about how nice it would be for some “old” things to become important again. 

I am thankful that some of the good things that are old can be new again, but I am also thankful that some of the “old” stays in the past.  I don’t see anything good coming from returning to the days of blue eyeshadow, bobby socks, hair scrunchies, or unhealthy eating habits.  It makes me grateful that we serve a God who can take the old and make it new again when it is for His glory.  And He can also help us leave the old in the past when it does not serve us well.  On those days, I’m also glad that he can make the “old” new again- that I don’t have to carry with me the old things that held me back or hurt me, but the “old” me can be new again through Him. 

And as I am summoned to the living room to rewind another VHS tape, I will smile and say “Thank You, Lord” that He is making old things new again.

“He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!”… Revelation 21:5a

Not Lucky... Blessed

This weekend had “all the feels.”  In an all-hands-on-deck event, my sister got married at our family’s farm.  Since I am mushy anyway AND super hormonal pregnant right now, I definitely had a lot of tears (don’t worry they were all the good kind!), goosebumps, and reflective moments.  Some of my favorite “take away” thoughts from the weekend…

I never grew up with brothers, I was blessed with sisters, but I sure hit the jackpot when it comes to brother-in-laws (or outlaws as they have taught (a) to call them).  They are pillars of strength for my sisters, heroes in the eyes of my 3 year old, and bring more love and laughter around our family dinner table.  Whether they are showing up with ponies or swords that shoot fireworks, (a) wants to be just like those two guys because one drives tractors and feeds cows, and the other is a rodeo cowboy.  I hope he is also watching that they are helpmates to their wives, there for the family no matter the need, and praying at the dinner table because at the end of the day they know where all those blessings have come from.  When I watch (A) with those two I always have to giggle a little because the three of them could not be more different when it comes to personalities or backgrounds, but the fun they have together, the way they get along, and the blessings the three of them bring to our family are abundant.

Having a “village” is one of the greatest blessings in life.  There were so many people who pitched in over the last few weeks, and especially the last couple days to bring the wedding together that it reminded me how important it is to live in community.  We can’t survive on our own, we can’t do it all on our own, but helping each other out, holding each other up, filling in our own weaknesses with the strengths of others is a true blessing.  It was also so wonderful to get to visit with that “village” and catch up on where life has taken us.  Whether it was high school friends I hadn’t seen in years, former Sunday School teachers, farm family neighbors, cattle friends, and family from far away… they all have played parts in making me who I am and it is truly special to step back, take that in, and realize how thankful I am that God created us to live in community with one another.

Being part of a family makes life sweeter.  I’ve often heard the phrase, “We may not have it all together, but together we have it all.” When I look around my life, I can’t help but smile at the truth in that.  Being in a family doesn’t always mean you see eye to eye, doesn’t always mean you don’t have spats here and there (and we have the childhood scars to prove it!), but you are there for each other through thick and thin.  Whether it is making 360 cupcakes, standing on a ladder to hang lights, a shared eye roll at dad’s corny comments, cleaning up when you are beyond exhausted, or letting tears flow down your face as the “baby” of the family comes down the aisle… love of a family doesn’t always look glamourous, it isn’t always clean and easy, but it is forever, it is for good or bad, it is what keeps us going when we think we can’t do anymore.  I hope my children will look back as adults and feel as fiercely loved by their family as I do. 

Never take for granted the beauty of what God has placed around you.  The “top of the hill” on our family’s south farm has long been a favorite place for us.  It has been the site of many picnics, adventures, afternoons of reflections, and occasional pictures, but until you share it with others and hear their ooohs and ahhhs at the sight, you sometimes take for granted the spectacular beauty of the “every day.”  Sometimes I take for granted the “good genes” I come from, until I see us pull together for something and realize that how I was raised is a gift.  I take for granted what a gift my husband has a minister, until his words in front of our friends and family bring me to tears.  God has placed so many beautiful things in my life, that I sometimes overlook because they seem just a part of the “every day.”

As the storms rolled in on Sunday afternoon and we hustled to make sure everything was in the dry, I commented on how glad I was that the weather for Saturday had been perfect.  My dad agreed and said, “we sure got lucky.”  I smiled at him and reminded him, “no we didn’t get LUCKY, we had been praying for this for months” to which he replied “you’re right- we weren’t lucky, we were BLESSED.”  Thank you, Lord, as I reflect at all the good things you have put in my life, and the people and opportunities you have surrounded me with- that I am not LUCKY, I am BLESSED.

“Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace.  Our barns will be filled with every kind of provision.  Our sheep will increase by thousands, by tens of thousands in our fields; our oxen will draw heavy loads.  There will be no breaching of walls, no going into captivity, no cry of distress in our streets.  Blessed is the people of whom this is true, blessed is the people whose God is the LORD.” Psalm 144: 12-15

Who I am NOT, because of Mom

This past weekend, we celebrated Mother’s Day.  For me, it is a holiday I have always enjoyed- even when I wasn’t a mom, because I have a great mom who is worth celebrating.  She is a mom who made me SO much of who I am- she is a pillar of faith, she loves us unconditionally, she is the hostess with the mostess, she was an extraordinary teacher, she gives freely of herself, she is the most patient wife on the planet, she never has a bad word to say about anyone, she is an amazing role model, and she is pretty epic at the Mom and Mama K (her grandma name) gig.  But as I got to spend time with her this weekend, I also realized that I am so thankful for who I am NOT because of her as well.

I am not a pessimist, because Mom always taught us to look for hope in every situation, to remember that God was not done yet and a “bright side” was coming.

I am not lazy, because Mom never accepted “I’m bored” from us.  She showed us that there were ALWAYS things to be done and she (and my dad) instilled a great work ethic within the three of us girls.

I am not afraid to try new things, even if they flop, because she always encouraged us to give it a shot, see what happens.  And I watched her always take it in stride or even laugh at herself when a new venture didn’t go as planned such as a failed recipe or unsuccessful craft project.  I also saw many of her new “experiments” soar successfully because she hadn’t been afraid to step out and try.

I am not ashamed to ask for or accept help when the task seems too big- either physically or emotionally, because she has always reminded me that there is no reason to face things alone when you don’t have to.

I am not one to give up easily, because she always encouraged us to keep trying.  She set the example of tenacity and modeled patience even when “never give up” took longer than we thought it should have. 

Mother's Day 2018

And when I think of the examples she set for me, I think about the kind of mom that I am… of all the things I WANT my kids to be, there are also so many things I do NOT want them to be.  Right now, at 3, we focus on things like do NOT be rude, do not go to bed dirty, do not leave your toys scattered all over the house, do not be so rough, do not talk with your mouth full. 

But as I look at who I am not, because of my mom, I hope my children are able to look at our life and say...

They are not going to let fear stop them from stepping out on faith.

They are not going to quit putting their trust in the Lord, even when they can’t see the next step.

They will not let hard things steal their joy.

They will not quit working hard for what lies ahead, but they will not miss an opportunity to enjoy the work in the “now” as well.

May they not ever doubt the love and support of their family, or the fact that the Lord goes before them.

I am so thankful for the example of mothers, because I think it give us just a tiny glimpse of God’s immense love for us.  A chance to remember that above all because of Him I am not alone, I am not afraid, I am not without hope.

Thank you Mom, and thank you Jesus- for all the things I am not.

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.  Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:28-30

Ohps, I missed!

There are some ways I am thankful I am not like my 3 year old… I don’t like riding in the back seat of the car, I don’t need to yell for someone to come button my pants every time I use the restroom, I like the independence that comes with being over 3 feet tall, and I like picking out my own clothes every morning.  However, there are many things that come with being 3 that I admire, and wish I could recapture in my own life.  I would love to have the metabolism to eat whatever I wanted and still stay thin as a rail.  I wish I had his energy.  It would be awesome to have someone do my laundry, fix my meals, and drive me around while I napped (ok, (A) will tell you I am still a pretty great car-napper).  And oh that confidence and tenacity…. There’s 10 gallons of confidence in that little pint size package.

This spring (a) has been given a couple of fun little baseball sets by people who know how much he loves the outdoors.  Neither (A) nor I are baseball enthusiasts, nor do we have any history of playing baseball/softball competitively, so our little outdoor baseball adventures are kind of lame.  It mostly consists of one of us throwing him a terrible pitch, him missing it, someone chasing the ball down, and that process repeating.   Last night as we “played” baseball in the yard something about this process really hit me.  No matter how many times he missed the ball, it didn’t phase him in the least.  I’ll admit, many of the misses were due to my completely pathetic pitching- but there were also many that happened due to his lack of skill.  Either way his response was ALWAYS “Ohps!! I missed!!” with a HUGE smile on his face, a little laugh, and then we would try again.  Never once did he threaten to give up, get frustrated, try to blame me for the problem, or make an excuse for his performance.  Just “Ohps!! I missed!!” and then he would try again.  We probably repeated this process 30 times with only 1 or 2 successful hits, but it never phased him.  The only reason we stopped was that he got distracted by another toy, not that he became discouraged or gave up. 

As I watched this (and of course giggled to myself) I couldn’t help but marvel at his confidence and tenacity.  How many times in my life am I willing to try things before I give up?  I quickly become frustrated with myself and the situation, I want to look for someone to blame, or I become completely discouraged and embarrassed to the point that I just quit.  How much different would things be if I looked at every struggle, every set back, every failure or disappointment as just “Ohps! I missed!” and then be willing to jump back up and give it another try.  I waste so much time beating myself up, questioning my worth, comparing my effectiveness, and debating another try- when what I need to do is simply regroup, learn from it, and try again. 

Afterall, when it comes to the things that matter most, God has already promised me that He is not going to let me down.  One of my all-time favorite verses is Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”  The things that God has started in me, the things that are going to be used for His glory… He is going to see them through.  I should not give up in doing His work just because one small piece of the puzzle flops, one event isn’t well attended, because one person is critical, or because one writing doesn’t come together the way I wanted it to.  I could waste a lot of time questioning myself, crying over what didn’t work, or feeling like a failure, OR I could cling to the promise that what God has started, He is going to finish.  And I need to trust Him enough to get back up, regroup, and get back to what he has called me to do. 

And for the sake of my kiddo, I could probably also use some more pitching practice.